So there are rumors that the Denver Nuggets are in the "Jason Kidd Sweepstakes". Let me put this rumor to rest right now: The Nuggets need Jason Kidd like I need a spiked bat in my ass. Forget for a moment that this will never happen because the Nets couldn't possibly want any of the "pieces" the Nugs could offer and Rod Thorne is pretty smart.

Jason Kidd shoots like a teenager hopped on a 40 of Mickey's. I'll take a crap-flinging Chimpanzee in a 3 point contest versus Ason. Most nights I'm convinced that the Nuggets wear blindfolds while shooting based on their field goal percentage. It's not freaking rocket science.

To review, the Nuggets don't want Ason. However any gentleman would gladly take Kidd's former wife: Jumana.

I mean look at her and tell me you don't want to play a quick game of pocket pool. I know she's no Maria, but she still makes me think of new uses for ice cream scoops, the reverse cowboy position and a bale of hey. If you're not turned on by now remember how Ason cited "extreme cruelty" in filing for divorce. Do you know what extreme cruelty means? Jumana wore the pants in the relationship. Jumana likes it crazy which means I likey Jumana.