Celtics vs Lakers: Game 5 | Sharapova's Thigh

Celtics vs Lakers: Game 5

Posted by FlyAtTheThigh | 6/15/2008 07:21:00 PM | , , ,

Or: Bug vs Windshield, Redux?

21-10 Lakers with 5:13 left. Eddie House just hit a three to get it to the aforementioned 11 pt deficit. Doc Rivers is still the Celtics coach, so LA has a chance. Haven't seen Sasha Vujacic yet. I assume he's alive.

4:49: Kobe hits a three, PJ Brown responds with a 2. Marc Jackson...Mark? Marc? I have no idea. He's babbling about leadership though.

4 Brothers is on TNT. Ya know the part where one of the brothers gets killed? Wait, ya haven't seen the movie. My bad. Well that part just happened. He kind of looked like Vujacic, now that I think about it...

3:07 (1st quarter): LA is flying to the boards, spreading the ball around...Derek Fisher is driving to the hoop, Radmanovic is making threes...I cannot fathom a way that Boston could ever come back frm this deficit.

2:09 (1st quarter): 31-15 after a Lamar Odom basket. The MVP has 15 in the quarter. Back to 4 Brothers for a bit. Terrence Howard is getting chewed out by Mark E. Mark.

17.1 seconds (1st quarter): 37-22 LA after a pair of Paul Pierce free throws. The 4 Brothers are about to rub out a dirty cop on TNT. I am about to rub out a dirty...ya know...to those Kelly Kapowski pictures.

Clapp: Lakers look like the team we thought we'd see all series. Obviously the Celtics phenomenal defense has been a major part of that, but the Lakers look incredibly confident and are clicking on all cylinders.. particularly Kobe. He might score 50. But, they jumped out to a major lead in game 4, and how'd that turn out?

Some amount of time in the first half: Tyrese is kicking some major ass in this movie. The dirty cop is getting suffocated. Andre 3000 is in it too. Some major musical talent here. Terrence Howard isn't hustling or flowing anymore, though.

Clapp: And just like that, here we go again. 8-0 run by the Celtics and it's down to an 11 point game. Lakers fans are booing. Kind of hard to talk on your cell phone and boo at the same time, but somehow they're managing to do it.

Fly: I took the Lakers at -7. I've got a heavy 30 cents riding on it.

9:14 (second quarter): Paul Pierce has elected to carry the Celtics. Again. The only way I could hate the Celtics any more would be if they were referring to KG, Pierce, and Ray Allen as "MV3". I haven't forgotten, St. Louis. 43-32 LA.

8:16 (second quarter): Offensive foul by Turiaf. In happier news, Sasha Vujacic has made an appearance. By happy, I mean he's alive. It's not happy news at all for anyone who is pulling for the Lakers. 43-34 LA.

7:37 (second quarter): Garnett just picked up his third foul. The Celtics will be replacing him with PJ Brown. No drop-off there...

Gasol misses the first of two free throws. Mark Wahlberg is in a fist fight with Victor Sweet on the ice now. Wahlberg puts him down! Down goes Sweet! Down goes Sweet! Now Sweet is being thrown into an ice-watery grave!!! This is like the Sasha Vujacic bio-pic.

Clapp: The Truth now has 18 and it's a 4 point game! Somebody should tell the Lakers that the games continue after the first quarter. In the 2nd quarter, Paul Pierce 13, Lakers 6.

5:07 (second quarter): The Lakers are all over the boards. Of course, it's not a rebounding contest. You get no points for missing shots. Write that down. I could coach in the NBA. Well, in the East, at least.

4:03 (second quarter): Odom with a short bank shot to end a Celtics 15-0 run. Mark Jackson is saying something. 45-39 LA.

4 Brothers is showing again on TNT. Is it even better the third time? I think so.

3:31 (second quarter): Lamar Odom outworking the Celtics, on his own. Radmanovic with a technical foul. He might replace Vujacic as foreign white guy that Kobe Bryant hates if this keeps up. 47-42 after Radmonivic gets beaten by Tony Allen. Yes, Tony Allen.

Clapp: You drinking tonight Fly? I've tossed 2 beers down and it just struck 8 pm here. This blog should get more entertaining...

Fly: Not drinking. I'm at home. I know that comment isn't here anymore. But I saw it. Oh, I saw.

End of First Half: My dad tried to turn to Ice Road Truckers, only to find out that it wasn't on. Kobe had 15, I'm pretty sure it was all in the first quarter. Only 2 field goal attempts in the second for the MVP. Lakers up 3 at half.

Kobe is talking about defense. What he should be talking about is wiping out the foreign dynamic duo that is Vujacic and Radmanovic.

Clapp: It's times like these that I miss Jim Gray's interviews. "Kobe, did you rape that teenage white girl? And would you do it again if it were guaranteed nobody would find out? Do you gamble on your own games and is Pete Rose your bookie? Is that Polo Black you're wearing? Which opposing player must you murder in the 2nd half to assure victory?"

Fly: If I had one of these GPS units, I'd set it for porn stores and porn stores only. Then I'd let a friend drive it and not tell him what's going on. That way, when it announced "arriving at porn store", he would think that the car was judging him.

Yossarian: Kobe is a sweaty mofo. I hate how they do interviews like that right after the half ends. Fuck Bill Walton by the way, the smarmy bastard.

Clapp: I love Bill Walton... ass. Who invited you anyway?

Yossarian: I'm predicting Kobe scores 14 this quarter, and Garnett picks up another 2 fouls. And Clapp... nobody likes Bill Walton.

Clapp: The Lakers put the "k" and "e" and, well that's it, in CHOKE.

Yossarian: I was taking a piss this morning with the bathroom door open and one of our kittens ran into the bathroom and jumped straight into the toilet, mid piss. I accidentally pissed on the cat.

Fly: Cats are stupid.

8:46 (third quarter): The MVP picks up his third, an offensive foul. A "courage foul". Nice, Van Gundy. Van Gundy reminds me of the old cartoon dog, Droopy. Rondo gives the Celtics a 2 point lead with a jumper.

7:16 (third quarter): Kevin Garnett picks up his 4th and Gasol completes the three point play. Now it's PJ Brown's foul, also his fourth. Again, no drop off between those two players. Where's the home-cooking, NBA? 65-62 LA.

6:21 (third quarter): Radmanovic just essentially stepped to the side and allowed Pierce a lay-up. Has anyone considered the possibility that Radmanovic and Vujacic bet on the Celtics?

Clapp: Betting in the NBA? Give me some recent evidence to suggest that's possible and maybe I'll agree with you. And holy shit what a shot by Kobe.

6:04 (third quarter): Kobe just picked up his 4th, another offensive foul. How many times this year has Kobe been called for 2 offensive fouls in one game? Never is my guess.

Derek Fisher somehow allows Rondo to tie him up. Kobe wishes Fisher was foreign so he could murder him, post-game.

5:17 (third quarter): Fisher gets fouled on a jump shot and banks it in, converts the 3 point play, and TOTALLY REDEEMS HIMSELF! (dumb and dumber reference).

4:07 (third quarter): Having Radmanovic defend Paul Pierce is the basketball equivalent of cruel and unusual punishment.

3:22 (third quarter): Pierce picks up his third on a jump shot. Meanwhile, in more important news, the Lakers replace Radmanovic with Vujacic. That's like exchanging a gunshot wound for sepsis. 74-68 LA.

1:53 (third quarter): Sam Cassell is in for Boston. When was the last time he was any good? If there was a +/- stat in basketball, Cassell would be lucky to be within 100 of even. Vujacic misses a jumper, shocking as that may be. 76-70 LA.

37.4 seconds (third quarter): Boston with a turnover. Has anyone ever asked why Paul Pierce is incapable of growing non-patchy facial hair? Gasol fouled, Boston in the penalty. Makes 1 of 2. 79-70 LA.

Start of Fourth Quarter: The MVP has 3 points since the first quarter. Jordan would never allow his team to blow two straight huge leads in the finals. Just sayin'.

11:04 (fourth quarter): Odom with a 3, assisted by Luke "Yea, I play too" Walton. Luke Walton is also now defending Paul Pierce as the Lakers cycle through their white players.

10:00 (fourth quarter): Gasol playing like he doesn't stink (after blowing a rebound) by blocking a Ray Allen jumper and getting fouled. Vujacic then allows the crowd to unleash a collective groan and then commits his second foul. 86-74 LA.

8:35 (fourth quarter): Vujacic with a quick three, which wasn't even close. Then he flops on a jump ball, allowing Cassell to tie him up. Cassell is not of this planet, I'm pretty sure. Is there any real reason Vujacic to play? Another missed three.

6:22 (fourth quarter): Luke Walton, who has been playing pretty good defense, makes a stupid foul, putting LA in the penalty. Pierce gets two free throws. Vujacic and Walton out for Odom and Fisher. That's a shame. Pierce makes both. 90-83 LA.

Clapp: It's going to take Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum to stop Cassell right now.

Fly: Is Jeff Goldblum in that movie? That changes my opinion of it...for the better!

Clapp: Independence Day, not Hancock.

Fly: I get it. Cause he's an alien.

5:28 (fourth quarter): Posey hits a 3 pointer to cut the lead to 4. My 30 cent bet on the Lakers at -7 is starting to look tenuous. So much for that soft drink I was gonna buy tomorrow...

5:16 (fourth quarter): Gasol now takes his turn guarding Pierce. He's just as bad as the others. Foul and Pierce to the line. Makes both. 90-88 LA. Pierce has 34.

3:54 (fourth quarter): I thought the Lakers were supposed to be well-coached? They look like they've never defended the pick-and-roll before. KG now to the line. Makes 1 of 2. 92-91 LA.

3:37 (fourth quarter): KG picks up his 5th. Pierce picks up his 5th. How can LA have had those two in foul trouble for the longest time and not go right after them? Again...the coaching.

3:07 (fourth quarter): Fisher draws the foul on a layup. A love-fest has begun between Jackson/Van Gundy and James Posey. Apparently he's a "great competitor". Fisher makes 1 of 2. Pierce abuses another Laker defender and heads to the line for Free Throws 16 and 17. The Lakers cannot stop the pick-and-roll. Pierce makes both. 95-93 LA.

2:14 (fourth quarter): Posey, the "great competitor", apparently also "fouls every time after the whistle". Apparently that's a good thing. Odom makes 2 free throws after KG misses 2 to go up 97-93.

37.4 seconds left (fourth quarter): Kobe steals the ball from Pierce, gets it back, and dunks it home to give the Lakers a 99-95 lead. He's 3-13 or 14 since the first quarter.

26.8 seconds left (fourth quarter): Odom with the rebound and gets bailed out on a ball that really looked like Odom touched last. 99-95 Lakers. The MVP has 5 steals to go with his 28 points.

16.7 seconds left (fourth quarter): Eddie House misses an open three, Kobe fouled as he moves the ball down court. Kobe misses 1 of 2 as he apparently took the Celtics at +7 as well. 101-95 LA.

Game over: Fisher steals the ball at the end and holds onto it instead of making the easy lay up. Why? Because he, too, bet on Boston.

Boston leads the series 3-2.