When Clapp's away... | Sharapova's Thigh

When Clapp's away...

Posted by FlyAtTheThigh | 6/29/2008 10:50:00 AM | , ,

...the Fly will play. Clapp's off for the weekend, and he left me in charge. That's right. Me. Want a Thigh of the Week today? Too bad. Truth be told I'm not a thigh man at all. I have thighs. What I do not have are two large, magnificent...personalities...like my girl Devon here has. Oh Devon. You've got a boy's name and I still don't care. If Devon White looked like her, I'd have been a Blue Jays fan.

Anyways, why have I made this post? Is it to show how I have jumped the rest of the bloggers in our little pecking order? Is it to show that I am, indeed, better than PCB? Is it to show that I am up and kicking at 1 PM Eastern? Yes. To all.

What inspired this feast for the eyes, though, was this damned Capital One make-a-credit card commercial. You know the one. The general is watching as an asteroid hurls towards the Earth and he is concerned with making his card which he'll be able to use for the next, what, 2 minutes? You can't even get a good call-girl in 2 minutes. Trust me.

Now, normally any commercial that involves potential death and cross-dressing (if that's really his mom, then General Dumbass should off himself) are awesome things. But this is just stupid. After completing his card, General Too-Many-Chromosomes hits a button to complete the card and shoots a laser, blowing up the asteroid. Am I to believe that the entire war-room...staring death and destruction in the face...couldn't remember that they had a fucking rock-destroying laser attached to a fucking button? Seriously?

I wish that damned thing had hit. I wish that moron with the bag, hyperventilating at the end, had been offed. He shouldn't be allowed to procreate. He is probably the type who produces kids like this.

What's in my wallet? A visa card. I'll be a gonorrheal penis before I carry a card promoted by this nonsense. How about your wallet, Private Shitbrains? Is there a cyanide pill? You know what to do...

I'm not even putting a picture up of the card or Capital One for fear of someone electing to use Capital One based on hearing the name from me. They get no business from me. Except for when I wanted a credit card on it with War Kittens. I mean, I'm only human.