Application to be an NBA official | Sharapova's Thigh

Application to be an NBA official

Posted by Poorly Acquitted | 10/30/2008 08:00:00 AM |

David Stern decided to post the application to become an NBA official online. Here it is:

Are you out of shape?
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Do you have either white or no hair?
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Will you listen to everything I tell you to do?
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Do you believe that the following teams categorically commit less fouls than all the other teams: Utah Jazz, San Antonio Spurs, Houston Rockets
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Will you promise to be intimidated by the following coaches: Phil Jackson, Gregg Popovich, Jerry Sloan
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Do you promise to dislike the following coaches: George Karl, Mike Dunleavy, Flip Saunders
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Do you promise to make whistle love to the following players: Tim Duncan, Dwyane Wade, Kobe Bryant, Carlos Boozer, Manu Ginobili, Steve Nash
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Do you promise to deny the following players of a fairly officiated game: Allen Iverson, Shaquille O'Neal, Rasheed Wallace, Carmelo Anthony

Do you have the IQ of an aborted fetus?
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I mean its amazing. I'm applying tomorrow.

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