I kid you all not, the Thigh's method of coming up with material usually involves Clapp bitching at me and me giving in. This time, he kept going on and on about how sites love top ten lists. He spoke of the Yardbarker and Ballhype and blah blah blah...so I gave in.
I give you...the top ten reasons to wash your hands.
1) You've been to St Louis
2) Your roommate has spent an inordinate amount of time with your computer in the other room, and the keys are crusty but ya don't know how to broach the subject, but ya worried nonetheless (thanks roomie!)
3) You used the bathroom. duh. You're not 12, right?
4) -You- have spent an inordinate amount of time with your computer, keys crusty, blah blah blah...see no. 2, I'm not paid for this
5) You read an erotic story in braille
6) I dunno why, but if you like that show Gossip Girl, you really should wash your hands
7) You have touched peanuts and your girlfriend is allergic to peanuts. You don't want her to die, do you?
8) If you do, indeed, want her to die and you sleep with her afterwards...yea, wash your hands
9) You're a doctor
10) When you kill a man and leave him to die in the kitchen of your house, you should wash your hands so as you do not get something disgusting on your meatball leanpockets. Actually, just clean your kitchen. You have a woman coming over.(to kill or not to kill, I leave to you...but wash your hands)