A-Rod Apologizes | Sharapova's Thigh

A-Rod Apologizes

Posted by Steve Wisniewski | 2/10/2009 08:46:00 PM | , , , , , , ,

Yesterday afternoon, in an interview with ESPN's Peter Gammons, 3-time MVP Alex Rodriguez apologized to his wife on the national stage for his marital indiscretions with music legend Madonna.

Here are some excerpts from this now famous interview:

"Back then, it was a different culture. You could have sex with anyone and it didn't matter." Rodriguez said. "It was kind of gross. It was very loose. I was young. I was stupid. I was naive. And I wanted to prove to everyone that I was worth being one of the greatest players of all time. I mean, Jay-Z says he's a player, but he's never had sex with Madonna. Every real player has to have sex with Madonna... it's kind of like earning your stripes."

"I boned Madonna. And for that, I am very sorry and deeply regretful. I think I should get tested more regularly now."

In his ESPN interview, which his ex-wife, Cynthia attended, Rodriguez said he did not know exactly which STD's he had gotten, only that "It's very likely I have a few". In 2003, there were no condoms which A-Rod enjoyed so, " I didn't use them".

"Again, it was such a loosey-goosey time," Rodriguez said. "I'm guilty for a lot of things. I'm guilty for being negligent, naive, not asking all the right questions. I should have asked about Guy Ritchie, I knew that guy had some skeletons in his closet. And to be quite honest, I don't know exactly how many guys she's boned. It's kind of scary."

"When you take this gorilla and this monkey off your back, you realize that honesty is the only way," Rodriguez said. "I'm finally beginning to grow up. I'm pretty tired of being stupid and selfish, you know, about myself. The truth needed to come out a long time ago. I'm glad it's coming out today."


Editor's Note: Sharapova's Thigh would like each and every reader to know that the above quotes are satirical. Surely A-Rod didn't say all of these things. At least in public. And we cannot speak to him having thought them. Take everything above as nothing more than satire and we do not now, nor have we ever, purport the above to be factual.

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