Would you rather? | Sharapova's Thigh

Would you rather?

Posted by Poorly Acquitted | 2/12/2009 05:40:00 PM | ,

Be a baseball player or a frat boy?

I'm not sure. I really don't think the two are all that different. For part of my post college life I've debated this issue and determined it only applies to college baseball players. After consulting several sources I realized, no, it applies to ALL baseball players.

I've come to the conclusion that being a minor league baseball player might be the best job in the world, presuming of course that you know when it's time to get a real job.

I was talking to a high school friend that is in the, I'll call it the, Strangers farm system. He was telling me some ridiculous stories about his road through the minors.

Some highlights:

- Sitting in the training room one day he sees a bag of Reese's Pieces. There is one other player in the training room with him. Subsequently, this other player used to have what is commonly referred to as "a drug problem." Also, these Reese's Pieces belong to the aforementioned former druggie. Anyway, my friend starts pounding these Reese's Pieces. I mean this is the best shit he's ever tasted. He's pounding this shit like it is crack cocaine..... He looks up and the player is looking at him laughing and the trainers are shaking their heads like, "who the fuck is this dumb ass?"

- This 19 year old kid gets signed to a retarded deal straight out of high school. He's immediately placed on my buddy's team. As it so happens the kid's third trip is north of the border. We'll say the game was in Shmancouver. Comment: Strip clubs in Canada are full nude. This kid goes out to the strip clubs, gets bombed, goes home with the stripper, does whatever you do with strippers when you go home with them. Has the stripper drop him off at the stadium the next morning, still wasted. He calls his roommate and has a conversation to the effect of "Dude bring my shit to the stadium I'm still in what i wore last night." Guy proceeds to hit three bombs, becoming the first dude to go yard three times since Joe Carter. They interview him after the game, he's still drunk, and he says, "I love this park. I love this city. I wish I could play every game here." Walks away.

I'd love to continue living vicariously through my friend, but I'll stop.

And yes my vote is to play baseball.
BallHype: hype it up!

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