Live Blogging Sexual Magic TV Night | Sharapova's Thigh

Live Blogging Sexual Magic TV Night

Posted by Matt Clapp | 3/26/2009 06:45:00 PM

Prepare to experience sexual magic.

What a night of television viewing for me tonight, as well as another fantasy baseball draft. We have the sweet 16 of course, my beloved Bulls in a huge game against the Heat on TNT, the Cubs in a spring training game against the Giants on MLB Network, The Office, 30 Rock, etc.

It's a bonerrific television night, and I figured I'd share my random thoughts during it all with you. I have a feeling Office and 30 Rock won't fit into this schedule and I'll have to watch them later online. Oh well.

It's also a good time to give some link love and whatever else. So off we go...

Bulls-Heat are through one quarter, Bulls up by one. Best moment of the quarter: Craig Sager talking about the situation with John Paxson as general manager and all of the recent rumors about him stepping down and whatnot. Paxson's up in his suite staring at the television as Sager talks, walks away looking furious. Hilarious.

My computer is in the Best Buy Geek Squad and is apparently fixed, but of course we're in the biggest blizzard in a couple years here. This computer I'm using blows and keeps messing shit up.

41-40 Xavier leading Pitt with 11 minutes to go. Raftery's about to get crazy, you can feel it.

Joakim Noah's becoming a pretty damn good rebounder.

Holy shit... it's today is the birthday for Sara Jean Underwood, Keira Knightley, and Jennifer Lamiraqui. MoonDog Sports honors them with some amazing pics.

D-Wade is unreal. He has 18 already in the 2nd quarter. If he beats the Bulls at the buzzer again... well I don't even want to think about it. He's a Bears fan though, so I won't hate him.

Bruce Willis has still got it. Brahsome shows us what he just married.

Heat lead 49-47 at half. Speaking of NBA teams in Florida... Dwight Howard is a character. NESW Sports has the video of Dwight dancing to Beyonce on his YouTube channel.

UCONN beats Purdue 72-60. My dad's heartbroken... but I'm happy for my bracket. I have the Huskies losing to UNC in the title game.

Pitt-Xavier 52's up with 3 to go. Go nuts Raftery. I have Pitt in the final 4, but wasn't confident at all in that pick. They always choke in this tournament.

On 205th gives you Christina Stefandi... she definitely has TOTW potential.

ONIONS!!!!!!! Fields for 3 to go up 1 with 47 seconds left. Then he gets a steal and a layup, clutch.

DeJuan Blair then commits a foolish foul up 3 with 16 seconds left. Xavier to the line for 2. Scratch that, they weren't in the double bonus yet, but he hits the first anyway. Misses the 2nd though, Sam Young with the board and he's immediately fouled.

Pittsburgh advances to the elite 8, along with Connecticut as I said earlier. Got those right!

Just came across this awesome, and a bit old hate/respect post from Detroit 4 Lyfe
. Funny stuff.

Did Marv Albert just say the Heat haven't won a game in Indiana in 14 years?

Things you wouldn't have guessed: Tyrus Thomas is a 77% free throw shooter... and rising as he hits 2/2. Bulls lead 55-53.

Yahoo's Devil Ball Golf lets us know that the LPGA will credential bloggers for 2009 tournaments. This is a step in the right direction. Come on tennis world...

Bulls are on a nice run, thanks mainly to Tyrus Thomas who just had an insane block on Udonis Haslem. Reggie Miller's losing it a bit, and Marv Albert said, "I think Reggie's getting delusional."

About to start a live draft for fantasy baseball, hosted by the guys of Not Qualified To Comment. I have the 10th pick.

First beer of the night about done, this Avalanche Amber from Breckenridge Brewery. Had it before but not for awhile, good shit.

Derrick Rose with an alley-oop to Tyrus Thomas, ridiculous. That might be the top play on SportsCenter. Bulls up 14.

Fantasy baseball draft underway, I'll post my picks here:

Round 1: Mark Teixeira, 1B, New York Yankees.
Round 2: Ian Kinsler, 2B, Texas Rangers.
Round 3: Nick Markakis, OF, Baltimore Orioles.
Round 4: Kevin Youkilis, 1B/3B, Boston Red Sox.
Round 5: Troy Tulowitzki, SS, Colorado Rockies
Round 6: Chad Billingsley, SP, Los Angeles Dodgers.
Round 7: Victor Martinez, C/1B, Cleveland Indians.
Round 8: Chipper Jones, 3B, Atlanta Braves.
Round 9: Carlos Marmol, RP, Chicago Cubs.
Round 10: Vernon Wells, OF, Toronto Blue Jays.
Round 11: Justin Verlander, SP, Detroit Tigers.
Round 12: Justin Upton, OF, Arizona Diamondbacks.
Round 13: Matt Garza, SP, Tampa Bay Rays.
Round 14: Milton Bradley, OF, Chicago Cubs.
Round 15: Mike Gonzalez, RP, Atlanta Braves.
Round 16: Chad Qualls, RP, Arizona Diamondbacks.
Round 17: Ubaldo Jimenez, SP, Colorado Rockies.
Round 18: Denard Span, OF, Minnesota Twins.
Round 19: Jason Giambi, 1B, Oakland Athletics.
Round 20: Jose Arredondo, RP, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.
Round 21: Jonathan Sanchez, SP, San Francisco Giants.
Round 22: Ian Stewart, 3B/2B, Colorado Rockies.

What do LeBron and Kareem have in common? Josh Q. Public tells you.

Reggie Miller with a "Debbie Downer" reference.

Evgeni Malkin knows what to do when high quality thigh is present as the Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies display.

This feels like a typical Bulls collapse in the making.

Reggie Miller takes a nice shot at Luol Deng as John Salmons hits a trey, 27 points. Man crush of Salmons intensifying in a major fashion...

Ben Gordon has caught fire as well with 3's on the last couple possessions, Bulls lead 100-77 and on their way to taking the 7th seed for the time being. Time to check out the Missouri-Memphis game, Mizz up 43-33.

Just checked out the Cubs game... yikes. Barry Zito strikes out the side in the 1st and the Cubs are playing their regulars. Bounceback year on the way for Zito?

And the next inning Milton Bradley goes opposite field on Zito. This wind is fucking nuts and creating some hilarious moments. 45 mph wind gusts.

Grabbed a Christmas Ale from Breckenridge Brewery. Missouri is giving Memphis the face treatment, wow. 59-40.

Giants rookie Pablo Sandoval is going to be really, really good.

Villanova is starting to pull away from Duke. They're just too physical.

I'm getting drunk.

Fly's update: Poor, stupid Clapp. He's already deleted this once. I was just saying that I was watching a DVR'd 24 while following the games online. Annie Wersching is hot. Not Anne Hathaway, but she holds her own.

Clapp back. The Memphis Tigers are making a huge comeback attempt, it's now a 7 point game. Why can't we get the exciting people to broadcast these games? I have no problem with Dick Enberg and Jay Bilas, but I want some out of control Raftery/Gus screaming.

Fly, who needs to poo: Villanova continues their bukkakke tour, getting it all over Duke's face. Excellent for my bracket. 56-43 Vanilla-nova. Apparently, the entire school is white.

Fly, getting down on his knees and he starts to pray...'til the tears run down through his eyes, lord...



Fly, who just had his toilet explode, pre-poo:

I have no idea what was going on in that last clip, really. I know my girl was singing, which was awesome, and Queen is awesome, so ya can't go wrong. Is she really little? Are they really big? I had questions, baby. And I took them to the only one I knew who could answer them:



Fly, who realizes that the people who live below him are gonna shit themselves when their apartment is flooded:

Very helpful Kige, thank you.



What the Hell?!?!?!?! Now some are big, some are small, some are normal size...isn't that a kid movie? What sort of LSD nonsense is happening here, Anne?!?!

Fly, who has cold feet from walking through ankle deep toilet water:

Alright, Clapp says I hurt the sexual magic of the site by posting videos of the lovely Ms. Hathaway...so I come with redemption!



Clapp back and I cannot believe what I just saw: a windout. Yes, a wind... out. Not a rainout, a windout. As I said earlier in this post that you've almost surely not read(so why am I even writing this?), the wind gusts were making the Cubs-Giants game comical. However, I didn't think the wind would prevent this game from being finished.

After 7 innings, the Cubs and Giants apparently agreed it would be safe to stop playing. I know it's Spring Training, the games are worthless, and the most important thing is to keep your players healthy, but what was the serious health risk of some wind gusts? High wind gusts yes, but this was far from a hurricane. The Cubs play in the windy city. And San Francisco... does anybody else remember Candlestick Park? Were the Cubs concerned So Taguchi would blow away? I'd argue that would be a good thing.

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