Not a good time to be a Quarterback | Sharapova's Thigh

Not a good time to be a Quarterback

Posted by Poorly Acquitted | 3/11/2009 04:38:00 PM |

Quarterbacks are the pretty boys of the NFL. They are the envy of men, and women, throughout the country. Think of how often you've heard somebody say the following things:

"Damn that Tom Brady, I'd love to get my hands on Gisele."

"Screw that Tom Brady, I'd love to get my hands on Bridget Moynahan."

"Blast that Tom Brady, I'd love to get my hands on Tara Reid."

Ok, so there are other QBs that get a lot of jealously throughout the country:

"Matt Leinart I freaking hate you, but dammit hanging out with ASU co-eds in hot tubs looks AWESOME!!"

"Peyton, hellooo there are other people that want to stick their hand in Jeff Saturday's crotch. Spread the wealth."

"Brady Quinn how do you get your hair to look so feathery soft? I want to touch it, I mean suck it, I mean jerk off into it."

"Tony I don't care how bad you are at quarterback, Jessica is worth any scrutiny you could receive."

Despite the above mentioned scenarios it really is not a good time to be an NFL quarterback. In fact, it sucks.

Jay Cutler has managed to alienate an entire city and coaching staff in 11 days.

Jeff Garcia doesn't have a job.

Mike Vick is bankrupt. AAAAAAnd he was ordered to go to court just so he can hear a judge tell him that he's bankrupt.

Derek Anderson, well actually nothing is wrong with him. I just hate his freaking guts. Die you lanky bastard.

Brett Favre is suffering from crotch suffocation due to "Persistent Wranglering". I'm not sure what that means but it probably has something to do with leaping into mud puddles while wearing jeans.

Byron Leftwich...see Garcia, Jeff.

Daunte Culpepper plays for the Lions.

Matthew Stafford is going to play for the Lions.

Kurt has to sleep with Brenda.

Trent Edwards gets to have his career ruined by T.O.


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