No Brain Association | Sharapova's Thigh

No Brain Association

Posted by Poorly Acquitted | 5/07/2009 04:31:00 PM | , ,

How is Kobe Bryant not suspended?

The douchebaggery that he inspires is simply unbelievable. I'm going to write David Stern and ask him what Kobe's sperm tastes like because he has been sucking this guys dick for far too long.

Kobe is a dirty player. He's a great player, but he's a dirty player. D Stern forces his posse of referees to let him get away with it. To me there is no universe where Kobe should be compared to MJ. Say what you will about MJ but he was classy. He was the greatest competitor ever, but he was classy as shit. On the rare occasions where he would show up it would be with a smile and a shoulder shrug. Not running down the floor after every made basket yelling "You can't fucking guard me. You can't stop me."

I'm crestfallen about this decision not to suspend Kobe. There is absolutely no need to play the rest of the Western Conference Playoffs because the league is salivating too heavily about a Kobe / LeBron Finals. The rule that will be read over and over again in the next few days is the mandatory league NBA rule that requires a one game suspension for a fist or elbow that connects with another player above their shoulders. Even say that Kobe's flagrant, intentional, malicious elbow caught Artest below the shoulders. That still gives the league discretion to suspend him. But noooooooo.....little Davie Wavey can't suspend Kobe.

Just to recite the Kobe Bryant NBA rule book:
1.) Intentionally elbowing players is ok.
2.) Acting like a consummate douchebag on the floor is celebrated.
3.) Kicking other players in the head is ok.
4.) Rape is ok.
5.) Traveling doesn't apply.

I'd love to write more but I can't because in the next 36 hours I'm taking two law school exams and driving to Los Angeles. Yes Los Angeles. Where Kobe lives. More tasty NBA morsels for you on Sunday.

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