Roger Clemens: "I didn't take steroids, my dog had a steroid related stroke." | Sharapova's Thigh

Don’t worry, everyone. We’re well aware the internet is going to be ablaze in jokes related to Roger Clemens and his latest steroid excuse. So…let’s just pile on, eh?

This morning, Clemens came out and proclaimed many of the same things he has screamed to the heavens since he misremembered his steroid using past. However, one new tidbit came out that just doesn’t seem to properly explain Clemens fear of steroids.

Clemens stated quite clearly that it would be “suicidal” of him to take steroids, considering his family’s history of heart attacks, including the fact that “his stepdad died from a heart attack.”

Listen, there is nothing humorous about a man dying from a heart attack. So we’ll first offer our condolences to the Clemens family………….

Now we’ll go ahead and pull out the Sharapova’s Thigh dueling banjos, brought to you by BREASTS!...and wait as Roger tries to explain his familial bloodline to his step father. 2nd cousin? Uncle? Rin-din-din-din-rin-din-din…

I’ll admit though, I too am afraid of steroids. My friend’s buddy who knows the mailman said the mailman had an infection from steroids once, and that’s more than enough to scare me straight.

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