Please Detroit Please | Sharapova's Thigh

Please Detroit Please

Posted by Poorly Acquitted | 7/07/2009 08:28:00 AM | , , , ,

Today is decision day in Detroit. Allegedly Joe Dumars is set to decide later today whether to offer the Head Coaching job of the Pistons to Avery Johnson.

Please Joe. Plllllllllllease make the offer. For the sake of everybody else if not to improve your own team.

Johnson has proved he's a winner as a coach, so that should be incentive enough for Dumars.

I have some data that Joe simply can't ignore.

Joe you will be doing basketball fans throughout the world a favor by hiring Avery away from ESPN.

I can't stand Avery on ESPN's NBA coverage. I seriously feel like he's going to swallow me right through the TV. Dude has the biggest mouth on the face of the planet. Good gracious, that shrill little voice. Going on and on during halftime and pregame at decibel levels comparable to a mouse, or Jimminy Cricket.

I can't even spell Jimminy, that's how worked up I am!

If Avery's analysis came out of Jeff Van Gundy or Marc Jones' mouth it would be wonderful. Almost everything Avery has to say is accurate and pointed. He's not shy about being critical in an understandable and non-obnoxious (see Charles Barkley, Steven A. Smith, Chris Broussard, etc.) way.

But dammit, that mouth and the voice. I seriously feel like I'm in a Freddy Kruger flick when Avery is on the tube.

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