Fantasy Football: Kill me now | Sharapova's Thigh

Fantasy Football: Kill me now

Posted by Poorly Acquitted | 9/04/2009 08:43:00 AM | , ,

I'm an idiot.

I thought I was being clever on draft night. My league manager made the inexplicable decision to include return yards as a points scorer. I wasn't in favor of it, but my passionate arguing was all for not.

We got to the last round of our draft and there I saw Joshua Cribbs just sitting there waiting to be gobbled up. The thoughts begin thundering through my head like freaking Apollo getting ready to wage war against whoever it is that Gods wage war against.

"Cribbsy is [arguably] the best return man in the game." NOTE: the [ ] section did not occur in my brain.

"Cribbsy is making a push to be the #2 WR on my Browns squad that will be better than advertised this year."

"I've heard that the Browns are going to use Cribbs as their Wildcat formation guy. They are going to call it the 'Shit we hope this guy actually plays even though he deserves a contract extension but we are penny pinching assholes and won't give it to him' formation."

"Cribbsy probably uses Geiko. Should I?"

I drafted him. I snached him up quicker than.....well its early and I don't have any witty analogies yet, but I freaking snached him up.

Homer move? Unabashedly yes.

Fast forward 10 days. I'm sitting there last night watching the Browns Bears game on the internet since it wasn't on TV anywhere outside of metro Chi-town. I figured I'd BQ for a series. I figured I'd see Horseballs Anderson for a series. My suspicions would be confirmed that BQ will be Browns quarterback and that DA cannot, in fact, spell.

Neither QB played.

Somebody else played though, you want to know who? James Freaking Davis. Yeah, that guy the-six-round-draft-pick-out-of-Clemson-that-would-have-been-a-second-round-pick-if-he came-out-after-his-junior-year-but-then-he-got-hurt-and-played-like-a-pussy-his-senior-year-so-he-fell-to-the-Browns-in-the-sixth-round.

Yeah, that James Davis.

I was so impressed with Davis in the two possessions he played, you know what I did?

I picked him for my fantasy team. Yeah that's right, I dropped a player a player of known value to pick up a rookie that will be a backup.

Wait???

I dropped a player of value....for a rookie that will be a backup???

Oh, I remember. Forget my momentary lapse of uncertainty. He plays for my favorite team and therefore MUST be a good fantasy pick up, right? Right?

This is why I hate / love, but mostly hate fantasy football.

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