October 2009 | Sharapova's Thigh

Steve Slaton should have plenty of space to run against a pathetic Buffalo run defense.
Other good fantasy football stuff from around the web...
And some picks of my own(based on standard league scoring systems):

Week 8's Best

QB: Drew Brees... Over 300 yards passing with at least three touchdown passes three times this year. Expect something similar this week against a Falcons pass defense that ranks 26th in the NFL.

RB: Steve Slaton... Slaton's finally looking like the fantasy stud we all thought he'd be this year. He has exactly 18 fantasy points in three of his last four games. I think he'll top that total this week against Buffalo, the league's worst run defense. They're allowing 5.2 yards per carry. Yikes.

WR: Reggie Wayne... He's dealing with a groin injury, but it sounds like he'll be fine to go. If he can go, he's going to kick ass. He has at least six catches and a touchdown in five of the Colts' six games this season. Peyton Manning will have little trouble throwing against the 49ers' bad pass defense, and Reggie's of course his favorite target. Roddy White had 210 yards receiving against the 49ers a few weeks ago. I'm not going to predict Reggie comes anywhere close to that, but he'll still be very good.

TE: Dallas Clark... As reliable as it gets, and a gold mine in PPR leagues. He's only caught under four passes once in six games, and has over 60 yards receiving four times as well.

K: Nate Kaeding... The Chargers' kicker has reached double-digits in fantasy points four times. The only time he didn't was against the Raiders in week one, but will when he faces them again this week.

D/ST: Chicago Bears... The Bears were absolutely embarrassed at Cincinnati last week, particularly on the defensive end. They're promising they won't let that happen again. Expect them to have their edge back for this one, and oh yeah, they're facing Derek Anderson and the Browns in Chicago.

Sleeper Picks

QB: Kyle Orton... The Bottle's put up double-digit fantasy points in every game this season. Even though it's still natural to scare you when you see an opponent is facing the Baltimore Ravens, their pass defense is ranked 23rd in the NFL this season. Their run defense is still playing very well, so expect the Broncos to attack through the air.

RB: LaDainian Tomlinson... LT as a sleeper? Remember when this dude was a fantasy GOD not too long ago? Well those days are long gone. However, he faces a Raiders defense at home that anybody will run with success on. I'm going to get crazy and predict LT has 15+ fantasy points this week.

WR: Johnny Knox... The Browns have allowed 26 20+ yard passing plays, tied for second most in the NFL. Johnny Knox is already becoming one of the best deep threats in the league with his incredible speed. Look for the rookie wide receiver and Jay Cutler to hook up for a bomb or two in this game.

TE: Donald Lee... Jermichael Finley is the more promising fantasy tight end, but he's "doubtful" to face the Vikings this week. A handful of catches and a touchdown are possible for Lee against a Vikings defense that's allowed some big games to tight ends.

K: Jason Hanson.. The Lions will frequently get into scoring position against the Rams, and it's an indoor game which helps for kicking. I'm liking Hanson to get into double-digit fantasy points this week.

D/ST: Dallas Cowboys... I'm not very high on the Dallas defense, but they do have a great pass rush led by DeMarcus Ware. The Seahawks' offensive line is a mess right now, so the Cowboys should be able to put a lot of pressure on Hasselbeck. They've put up games with 19 and 16 fantasy points at home this year as well.

Shit Picks

QB: Brett Favre... He's going to want to absolutely dominate at Lambeau, but the defense will want to dominate him just as badly. The Packers are allowing just a 64.7 passer rating and have intercepted 11 passes.

RB: Knowshon Moreno... Baltimore's allowing just 3.5 yards per carry, while their pass defense is not performing nearly as well. Don't look for Moreno to get too many touches in this one, and even if he does, don't expect him to be very successful.

WR: Michael Crabtree... Due to his tremendous talent and the fact that he had five catches for 56 yards in his debut, he's a hot waiver wire pickup right now. This doesn't figure to be a good week to play the rookie wide receiver though. as the Colts have a great secondary. Hold on to Crabtree, but keep him on your bench this week.

TE: Vernon Davis... It's a bit questionable to shit pick a guy that had three touchdowns in his preivous game. This was a tough call, but this is a very difficult matchup for Davis, just like the aforementioned Crabtree. The Colts have allowed just two passing touchdowns this season. Additionally, they've been the best defense against tight ends on the year, allowing just 11 total fantasy points in six games.

K: Steven Hauschka... The Denver defense is absolutely for real. Hauschka's Ravens are unlikely to get into scoring position enough to make him a worthwhile fantasy option this week.

D/ST: New York Jets... The Dolphins ran all over them in Miami in week five. The Jets' defense/special teams had -4 fantasy points in that one. They probably won't be that bad this time around, considering it's at home and Rex Ryan's surely more prepared to stop the wildcat attack. Still, I wouldn't project more than a handful of fantasy points this week for the Jets.

My Week 7 Picks(based on standard league scoring systems)...

Best: Peyton Manning(21 Points), DeAngelo Williams(19 Points), Andre Johnson(6 Points), Dallas Clark(10 Points), Stephen Gostkowski(5 Points), Green Bay Packers(13 Points).

Sleepers: Ben Roethlisberger(11 Points), Donald Brown(5 Points... 2 carries, 58 yards, left with injury), Austin Collie(9 Points), Kellen Winslow(0 Points), Kris Brown(8 Points), Carolina Panthers(4 Points).

Shit: Donovan McNabb(10 Points), Steven Jackson(13 Points), Bernard Berrian(1 Point), Dustin Keller(2 Points), Shayne Graham(9 Points), Buffalo(14 Points).

Green shows it was a notably good pick, red shows it was a bad one.

If you come across any good articles that aren't on here, or have any yourself, don't hesitate to e-mail me: sharapovasthigh@gmail.com.

UPDATE(11/1, 11:35 AM ET): Calvin Johnson and Brian Westbrook are each officially OUT today. Johnson being out is particularly disappointing to fantasy owners, as he's facing the Rams at home. Today likely would've been a big, big day for Megatron.

Westbrook had a much more difficult matchup against the New York Giants. The running back will be replaced by rookie LeSean McCoy, who likely won't have a huge game on the ground, but is a good play in PPR leagues as he's likely to see a handful of catches out of the backfield.

UPDATE(11/1, 11:46 AM ET): Giants wide receiver Mario Manningham is OUT. Rookie Hakeem Nicks gets a start at wide receiver and is a top 20-25 play at the position this week now, even against a very good Eagles secondary.

UPDATE(11/1, 12:04 PM ET): Vikings wide receiver Bernard Berrian is likely out against the Packers. Percy Harvin play though, as he was very questionable all week.

Colts wide receiver Reggie Wayne will play against the 49ers. This is obviously -great- news for Wayne owners, as this is a matchup where he could absolutely blow up.

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Than be introduced at his Orlando Magic's home opener apparently. This is an absolute awesome reaction by the head coach:

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Sara Jean Underwood Thigh Fives The 10/28/09 Links

Posted by Matt Clapp | 10/28/2009 02:40:00 PM

Thigh Five From Sara Jean Underwood!
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Audrina Patridge Is My DJ Hero

Posted by Matt Clapp | 10/28/2009 02:00:00 AM | ,

As most of you nerds out there know, DJ Hero came out yesterday. Even though I play video games like Travis Henry plants seeds, I don't think I'm going to pick this one up. It's getting some great reviews and I'm a big Guitar Hero and Rock Band fan, but this just doesn't seem like my type of thing. I'm more of a "rock out" rather than "bust a beat" type of guy, unless it's in a Donald Duck voice(which only comes out for special, special, special occasions, ladies).

Rather than pick the game up and become a DJ Hero myself, I'll leave that honor to the lovely former "Thigh of the Week", Audrina Patridge. While she's not going to master the SATs anytime soon, she's definitely mastered a more difficult task: having a grade-A, 1500-scoring thigh. Audrina chose to show her terrific body off at the launch for DJ Hero Monday in Hollywood. Here's some evidence...

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Thigh of the Week: Ana Beatriz Barros

Posted by Matt Clapp | 10/27/2009 09:25:00 PM

Ana Beatriz Barros
Ana Beatriz Barros is a tremendously successful Brazilian model, which shouldn't be a surprise at all when you get a good look at that thigh and seductive puppy dog eyes.

Anyway, I'm going to start drinking... our Internet is Steve Trachsel delivering a pitch slow, and you get the point: She's super hot.

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Signs of a bad team

Posted by FlyAtTheThigh | 10/26/2009 02:58:00 PM | , ,

For those who don't know, I am a Carolina Panthers fan. For the longest time, even coming into this season with Jake Delhomme, I have been a supporter of John Fox. Fox is a guy who came to Carolina after a 1-15 season and has made the franchise respectable all the time and downright dangerous about, say, half the time.

I thought it was absolutely insane that there was talk about Fox and GM Marty Hurney both losing their jobs coming into the season. Yes, Jake Delhomme got an inexplicable 42 million buck extension (20 guaranteed) after throwing 35 interceptions in a playoff game. Yes, the Panthers continue to be viewed as a second tier team. Yes, it seems like every other year the Panthers embrace mediocrity. However, having seen where this franchise was before Fox and where it is now, I was of the opinion that the front office/coaching staff, as constructed, was the way to go.

Man, I was wrong. Dead wrong. And my wrongness has nothing to do with the Panthers' 2-4 record this year.

I am not of the opinion that one can really judge coaches on simple wins and losses. Players have to perform and execute. The best laid plans can fail without the talent to execute. Here's the thing...the Panthers brought back essentially the same team from last year that went 12-4 in the regular season. Watching them now, they look more like the Detroit Lions than a division winner.

The straw that breaks the camel's back has to be the game against the Buffalo Bills. The true sign of a bad team is when your team strength aligns perfectly with the opposition's weakness and you don't hold the lead for one single second.

The Buffalo Bills were allowing the opposition to rush for an awful 5.2 yards a carry. Carolina has two of the best backs in the league. And yet, the Panthers elect to run the ball 25 times against 45 throws. 45! With Jake Delhomme, who leads the world in interceptions.

For an offensive staff to allow Jake Delhomme to lose a game against the Buffalo Bills and only hand the ball to DeAngelo Williams 18 times and Jonathan Stewart 7 times is inexplicable, inexcusable, and feels like a fire-able offense.

Anyways, this is my rant. I think there's no surer sign of a bad team than one that doesn't realize its strengths or, more importantly, its weaknesses and allows its weakness to lose games.

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Next up in our "Random Retro Baseball Player" series is Hubie Brooks...

Years Played: 1980-1994.

Teams Played For: New York Mets(80-84, 91), Montreal Expos(85-89), Los Angeles Dodgers(90), California Angels(92), Kansas City Royals(93-94).

Positions: Right Field(576 Games), Third Base (516 games), Shortstop(371 games), First Base(13 games), Second Base(7 games), Left Field(7 games).

Bats/Throws: Right/Right.

Career Line: .269 AVG, 656 R, 1608 H, 149 HR, 824 RBI, 64 SB, .315 OBP, .403 SLG, .717 OPS.

Best Season: 1986- .340 AVG, 50 R, 104 H, 14 HR, 58 RBI, 4 SB, 25 BB, 60 K, .388 OBP, .569 SLG, .956 OPS.

Awards/Leaderboard: 2-Time NL All-Star (1989, 1990).

2-Time Silver Slugger Winner At Shortstop(1985, 1986).

8th In NL Batting Average(.307) In 1981.

Top 10 In NL RBI In 1985(100, 6th) And 1986(90, 9th).

Fun Facts: Hubie Brooks played college baseball at Arizona State, and was the third overall selection in the 1978 MLB draft by the New York Mets.

After a solid 1984 season where Brooks hit .283, with 16 homers and 73 RBI, he was sent to the Montreal Expos in what is now considered the "Gary Carter trade", as the Hall of Fame catcher went from the Expos to the Mets in the deal.

In his first season as an Expo, he hit 13 homers, drove in 100 runs, and finished 14th in National League MVP voting. He was the first National League shortstop to have 100 RBI since Ernie Banks in 1960. In the following two seasons, he was selected to the All-Star Game. He was notably great in the first of those two years, 1986, when he hit .340 with a .956 OPS. He only had 338 plate appearances that season though, as he spent much of the season out with injuries.

My Take: As I was a kid and didn't start getting into baseball until the late 80s, I remember Hubie Brooks most in his last couple of Expos years and on. I watched him play a lot in 1990 in his only season with the Dodgers, as I lived in Los Angeles at the time. He was a solid player that season, hitting 20 bombs and knocking in 91 runs.

I think Hubie's the exact type of player we started doing these "Random Retro Baseball Player" pieces for. He had a solid career and you probably had some of his baseball cards like I did(if you were/are as big of a dork as I am). But I bet when a lot of you opened this you immediately thought, "Holy shit, Hubie Brooks! I forgot about that dude." It's fun to look back on players like this.

Hubie Brooks' Baseball-Reference Page

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"Damn you Clapp!", you ladies or weird guys say. You thought you had your Halloween costume. Yeah, so it's not really a giant cardboard box, but it might as well be.

Tiffani Thiessen/Kelly Kapowski, you're better than this. We're not asking even for you to be in a Malibu Sands swimsuit(although it would be greatly appreciated). You can even wear your flower jeans with Eric Karros-like high hair, but please no more of this.

Zack's going to start dialing up some numbers on his giant cell phone and hit up The Attic in no time if you don't fix up your style soon. I'm even beginning to question that "Thigh of the Week" we handed you.

Anyway, here's more pictures because I know some of you would still love her if she were dressed in pig shit...

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