My New Favorite Commercial: Orlando Hernandez Selling You Airless Water Valves(Video) | Sharapova's Thigh

So I'm sitting here watching the always terrific program Hot Stove, on the always terrific MLB Network. There's a commercial break, and this is what comes onto my television screen:

Orlando Hernandez selling water valves! What a gem! This is hilarious to me for so many reasons. Here's some of them that immediately come to mind:

1. Orlando Hernandez? Could there be a more random (former)athlete to use to sell something?

Orlando's been out of baseball since 2007. He never made a single All-Star game. He was a starting pitcher, and made 30 starts in a season just once in his career. He won double-digit games just four times, with three of those years being assisted by a World Series-winning Yankees team. He had an ERA under four just four times. I could go on and on with the statistics.

Yes, he was a popular player on the aforementioned Yankees' championship teams, and even was the MVP of the 1999 ALCS. But overall, we're talking about a guy that was a pretty good, not great pitcher, and the best of his MLB days were over a decade ago. Heck, he might be better known for defecting from Cuba by boat. Unless we're talking about selling a product for some small business in New York(he also pitched his final two years with the Mets), it's just really weird to me.

2. When the commercial starts, it's Orlando Hernandez in a random uniform breaking fake glass with a pitch. That in itself made me laugh, but also, what does it have to do with a water valve?

3. They show his name as Orlando "El Duke" Hernandez. El Duke! His nickname is of course "El Duque", meaning "The Duke" in Spanish. Most everybody knows him as "El Duque", so there's really no reason to put "Duke" in there for us. And even more importantly, if you do that, you leave out the "El" then and put "The"! Makes zero sense to mix the English with the Spanish.

4. His English is about as smooth as Screech Powers' attempts to hit on Lisa Turtle.

Anyway, I'm not hating(well I'm questioning but I wouldn't want anything changed), I'm loving. I hope to see Orlando Hernandez trying to sell me Slap Chops in the future, and I can't wait to see Carlos "El Horse" Lee's Airless water valve commercials in seven years.

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