But in my defense, I was drinking and essentially chose watching Twilight over doing nothing. And let me tell you, dear reader, it was as bad as I suspected it would be.
I'm now going to write up what I can only assume the script of that..."movie"...was. Full disclosure states that I have to make known that I fell asleep during the middle of the thing and, at one point, began to do the old nWo wolfpack sign and pretend I was the werewolf. I may not be allowed in that theater anymore. Oh well.
[Open scene...some place dark.]
Edward: Oh, you love me.
Jacob: No, she loves me.
Edward: Nuh uh.
Jacob: Yep. Love love love. Give us a kiss.
Edward: How could you kiss him!? Kiss me!
Jacob: Now let's kiss each other.
Edward: You taste like passion. I'm so emo. Look at me. I've got feelings so everyone should care about me!
Jacob: Oh yea? Well look at my abs!
[Will walk around without shirt for 30 mins]
Edward: She still loves me!
Jacob: I'm like the dude from the Jersey Shore. The werewolf is the Situation! Abs! Abs!
Edward: Damn, those are nice abs. Let's make out. Forget this chick.
That last part may have been made up, but whatever. Don't see Twilight.
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