May 2010 | Sharapova's Thigh

LenDale White is a 25-year-old running back with 24 rushing touchdowns in four NFL seasons. He was one of the best goal line backs in the league as a member of the Tennessee Titans.

However, his role greatly diminished in the last year with the breakthrough of superstar running back Chris Johnson. Additionally, he'd gotten a bit too overweight(hence the "LenWhale" nickname) to show the burst he once had.

Over the last two months, it appeared things were going to turn back around for White. During the NFL draft, the Titans traded him and defensive tackle Kevin Vickerson to the Seattle Seahawks for fourth and six round picks. The Seahawks are of course now coached by White's college(USC) coach, Pete Carroll, and Carroll knows what White's capable of, as well as how to use the running back more than anybody.

And White was starting to shed off the LenWhale moniker by shedding off a lot of weight. This was on April 30th:

"For me to come in here in shape, 225, just feeling good, I feel great, man," White said. "Best I've felt in my career. Last year, I felt good going into camp, but this is the greatest I've felt. I didn't have to work this offseason and get no weight off. It already was off, and I just had to condition it and keep it down."


"He looks great," Carroll said. "He's 218. I can't remember him ever being that light. I don't think he was that light when we recruited him way back when."

Link(Seattle Times)


So less than a month ago, White was in possibly the best shape of his career, and had the backing of the head coach. There was even talk of him starting for the Seahawks over running backs Justin Forsett and Julius Jones(and recently acquired Leon Washington, although he's currently recovering from a broken leg).

Therefore, it was a shock to see today that the Seahawks had decided to release White. Why? Seahawks General manager John Schneider had a quick explanation:

"It became apparent at this time that LenDale was not ready to be a member of the Seahawks."

Link(USA Today)

Given that White felt great about the shape he was in, and you would assume the position he's in; to play under his college coach and possibly start; it makes little sense.

Clearly, White needs a major attitude adjustment, but Carroll wasn't even going to give him until at least training camp to try and do so? It's quite odd, and I'd imagine we're going to learn some more details to clear this up a bit in the near future.

But you really have to wonder what this is going to do for his future in the NFL, if he even has one. If he couldn't make it work with Carroll, what team is going to be in a hurry to pick him up?

Of course, I'm sure we can count on a team like the Raiders to come through.


UPDATE- Of course right after I write that, this information comes out from Jason LaCanfora of NFL Network:

LenDale White likely facing 4-game drug suspension, according to sources. Reasons for his release beyond that.

Link(Jason LaCanfora's Twitter)


Well that would at least partly explain things.

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It took this long? That was my first reaction when I saw former NBA player Antoine Walker just filed for bankruptcy:

Antoine Walker has filed for personal bankruptcy protection after being hit with a $2.3 million foreclosure lawsuit on a mansion in south suburban Tinley Park that he bought for his mother. The bankruptcy and foreclosure suit are the latest in a series of legal and financial woes for Walker, who reportedly earned more than $110 million during his 13-year NBA career.
Link(Chicago Breaking Sports)

Walker, a three-time All-Star(although he looked more like a three-time hot dog-eating contest winner in his last few years) and full-time ball hog in his NBA career, was arrested last July for writing $1 million's worth of bad checks in Las Vegas. So his financial issues have already been well-documented, and his filing for bankruptcy should be a surprise to nobody.

$110 million just doesn't do what it used to apparently.

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Following the incredible ending to the Lakers-Suns game five, there was plenty of craziness on Twitter. Even some NBA players themselves joined in the fun. Even NBA superstars, like free agent power forward Chris Bosh.

Bosh is about to cash in on free agency, and he certainly just cashed in on the chance to show off a great sense of humor with this tweet:

Link(Chris Bosh's Twitter)

I'm not sure you ladies out there will agree too much with his thinking, but I certainly enjoyed it.

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This is why drugs are bad...

Posted by FlyAtTheThigh | 5/24/2010 02:34:00 PM

Alright, dear reader. I understand that you have come to expect a certain level of amazing writing from this site. I mean, Pulitzer-worthy almost sounds like it's not good enough to describe some of the stuff we throw up on here. So this next piece...well, it may blow your freakin' mind.

At work, a co-worker and I have a running battle as to who can make fun of the other's face more. What she didn't expect is for me to be able to write an episodic adventure about her...so I give you, dear reader...



For SG

THE ADVENTURES OF UGLY FACE!

Photobucket



Episode 1: TV MA for Graphic Imagery

[The scene: a talk show set. Set up around a small, round coffee table are two chairs. Over the table is a small monitor. In one chair is prominent talk show host, Allen Rene. In the other, a lady who is wearing a shirt with "UF" written on the front. Her face is blurred out using the same tech as one uses when a confidential informant is on the news. The host looks to be noticeably uncomfortable sitting across from this individual.]
[Allen Rene ("AR")]: And we're back. As promised, we are here with legendary heroine, Ugly Face. Ms. Face..

[Ugly Face ("UF")]: Please, just call me Ugly.

[AR]: (obviously confused) Okay...Ugly...you have become one of the most legendary vigilantes the world has ever known without the aid of any special ability, technology, or any recognizable advantage whatsoever. You've put away criminal after criminal without incident of casualty, injury, or even a struggle. The question everyone wants to know is...how?

[UF]: Well, it's simple Allen...it's my face.

[AR]: Your face?

[UF]: My face. It's so terrifyingly ugly that the simple sight of me causes criminals to panic or faint.

[AR]: Well...I guess. I mean, I'm looking at you right now and nothing of that nature is happening to me.

[UF]: Yet. But I've got my face in low ugly mode. Your makeup people spent hours on me backstage. There's essentially three layers of rubber between my actual face and your eyes. Though I've asked that my face be blurred out for your viewers. Some of the more squeamish might end up petrified regardless.

[Allen Rene nods along with the story, understanding her statement, seeing remnants of the ugly in spite of the makeup]

[UF]: (continuing) When I was born with this face, I used to curse at the Heavens. I had to ask how God could exist and create something this heinous. I mean, this face is the cosmetic equivalent of cancer, AIDs, terrorism, and Justin Bieber combined.

[AR]: Oh my.

[UF]: Oh yes. I used to rage at my misfortune. Until one day, a shoplifter came running at me. He was fully armed. No one was still conscious to stop him because I had been walking down the street, you know, leaving a trail of comatose people in my wake...

[AR]: Because of...your face?

[UF]: Because of my face. So it was up to me to stop him. I was getting ready to do whatever I could when he simply looked at me, screamed, and fell into the fetal position. After that, I realized this curse was a gift. That I could help people with this hideous, hideous face.

[AR]: Inspirational. And you've helped so many...

[Allen Rene reaches down to the table and lifts a small file.]

[AR]: A mere few months ago, you stopped one of the most devious lunatics this city has ever seen. The feared Spectacled Penguin.

[Ugly Face lowers her eyes, thinking about her incredible battle]

[UF]: The Penguin was difficult. She's blind as a bat, you know? She takes off those spectacles and my face is almost useless. It was only after trapping her in close quarters and forcing her glasses on that my face was able to subdue her. Thankfully, her only real goal this time was some ill-conceived plan to turn all of the world's apples into bananas, so she didn't do too much damage.

[AR]: A criminal without drive?

[UF]: Exactly.

[Suddenly, the studio lights flicker. The monitor over the table crackles and comes to life. A feed comes through to the monitor. It is obviously off-site and is being recorded with low grade equipment. A young man, with a remarkably un-ugly face, walks into view.]

[???]: That's quite a tale, Ugly Face. You're just a paragon of virtue, aren't you?

[AR]: Who is...

[???]: In due time. First, I just wanted to take Ugly Face down memory lane. 6 years ago, Ugly...do you remember 6 years ago? That face of yours was as ugly as ever...

[UF]: It cannot be...

[???]: We were walking through that chemical plant on a tour. Remember? We had those baskets filled with goodies that we were being allowed to throw into the vats and observe the chemical reactions. It was amazing...we got to watch science up close. It was the first time we had ever met, you and I. The chemical mask you were wearing kept me in the dark as to the true nature of the beast that was your face...and I introduced myself...

[AR]: Producers? What's going on here?

[???]: You turned to introduce yourself. I couldn't hear you over the mask. So you took it off. Remember? REMEMBER?!?! The sheer ugliness sent me recoiling back in horror, over the safety railing, and into a vat of toxin. Just me and my basket, Ugly Face...hero? HA! The ugliness of your face simply is a reflection of your soul.

[UF]: You...you died!

[???]: Only a part of me. I survived the trauma after months of physical and psychological therapy. It took even longer to get the image of your face out of my mind. But that day made me stronger...it showed me the worst of that face and I survived. At least...most of me...

[The man on the screen raises his right arm. Where his hand should be is nothing more than a basket.]

[???]: You can call me Basket Man. You ruined my life, Ugly Face. You cost me my right hand! Do you know how hard it is to go through puberty without a right hand??? Do you know how...backed up I got?

[AR]: That's inappropriate.

[Basket Man ("BM")]: HER FACE IS INAPPROPRIATE! BURN!!!

[Basket Man laughs maniacally at his little joke, then continues]

[BM]: I have trouble even wiping myself, Ugly Face. I have to hire an assistant to do that for me. I just call her ASSPAD. But I digress.

[Basket Man begins to look sinister.]

[BM]: I will not rest, Ugly Face, until you are brought to justice for your crimes against me. You must pay for what you've done to me. You claim to be an agent for good. In reality, you're simply a girl with access to a devastating power. You controlling that face is like North Korea having nukes after a round of drinks. You can't control it. And you will be stopped.

[Basket Man laughs again as he reaches forward to turn the camera off.]

[AR]: Umm...comments?

[UF]: Basket Man...how can he live...how can anyone survive that encounter....

[AR]: Falling into a vat of chemicals certainly would be devastating.

[UF]: No Allen. Not that encounter. He was four inches from my face. How could he have survived?

[Allen Rene sits quietly, not sure if the question is rhetorical.]

[AR]: Alright. We're going to commercial. Yea, we need to go to commercial. Thanks for being with us, Ugly Face.

[UF]: Basket Man...

[To be continued...]


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Every once in awhile I show my fan face on here. I'm a diehard fan of the Chicago Cubs, Bears, Bulls, and Blackhawks. Well, the Blackhawks are of course up 2-0 in the Western Conference Finals against the San Jose Sharks, with game three tonight(8 PM ET on Versus) in Chicago.

So I'm incredibly pumped up, and have been viewing some Blackhawks videos on YouTube like crazy in anticipation for tonight's game. Two of my favorite highlights over the last few years are from team captain, and current Conn Smythe favorite(NHL Postseason MVP), Jonathan Toews.

The first one is of an absolutely incredible goal Toews had against the Colorado Avalanche in 2007, at the age of 19. The reaction from the announcers is pretty awesome, especially when you consider they are the Avalanche announcers:



And this one is from 2008 against the Detroit Red Wings, with the opposing announcers again having a near orgasm. Maybe not as good as the other goal, but still sensational to say the least:




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I just felt this deserved it's own post, rather than throwing it in a link dump, considering it's about quite possibly my favorite play-by-play announcer ever, being a part of the next edition of quite possibly my favorite video game series ever. It's quite the awesome situation.

Read about it, as well as a great interview Gus did with good Thigh friend Will Brinson: Back Porch Fanhouse

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After seeing the long and boring Transformers 2, it was going to be difficult to get me to sit through the upcoming Transformers 3. Then I see this news:

Entertainment Tonight has learned the 'Transformers' movie franchise is moving forward without Megan Fox.

Paramount Pictures confirms to ET that Fox's contract has not been picked up for the third installment of the series.

Link(ET Online)

Boo! If you're going to have a crappy movie(which I assume this will be), at least have some nice eye candy.

But this is hardly surprising at the same time. Michael Bay is the director of the Transformers films, and he and Fox have been at odds for a bit now. Fox even compared Bay to Hitler recently. Still, I thought her hotness and ability to drag in millions of horny teenage boys into the theaters could've saved her job.

There's no doubt they will bring in a new attractive female to provide at least a similar role to Fox's, but let's be honest- It's not going to be easy to top the 2008 Hot Ladies Tournament champion. And if it's acting that concerns you, these aren't the right movies for you to see anyway. It's all about the visuals, and Fox certainly was A+ in that category.

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For the June 2010 issue of Vogue, Thigh of the Week alum Blake Lively decided to show us what her superb body has to offer, and did an absolutely sensational job of it. I just wish she would've brought her friend Leighton Meester along for the ride. I don't really have anything else to tell you except to check these pictures out yourself:


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This video is a few days old and you've probably seen it already, but it's the kind of thing I had to throw on my sweet Thigh...

Will Ferrell was in Texas last week for his Cancer For College charity golf tournament. While in town, Ferrell made a surprise appearance at a Round Rock Express(Triple-A affiliate for the Houston Astros) minor league baseball game.

Not just was Ferrell at the baseball game, but he even had a pitching appearance(even though it didn't technically count) for the club as Venezuelan Billy Ray "Rojo" Johnson. Well, he threw one pitch anyway. Here's video evidence:



Imagine being in attendance at the game and having no idea about that. All of a sudden Will Ferrell's pitching in a minor league baseball game and pounding beers on the mound. Funny stuff.


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Graduation: The Jagoff Litmus Test

Posted by FlyAtTheThigh | 5/08/2010 01:15:00 PM |




My mother received her Masters in Education today. Congrats and all that. I went to the ceremony to see her get her degree and hood and all that good stuff. This isn't my first graduation as a visitor or participant, and I've noticed a couple of recurring themes every time you get people around graduates. And everyone of these themes is indicative that society, as a whole, is doomed.

Seriously, next time you're at a graduation, just keep your eyes open for the following things:

Kids wearing baseball caps. Look, I'm not suggesting that you buy a new suit or even new clothes for a graduation, but can't you at least look presentable? It may sound elitist, but there's no reason to wear a Philadelphia Phillies baseball cap to a graduation. None. Even if you're only going to wear a t-shirt and jeans, take off your fucking cap assbag. Of course, wearing a Phillies hat anywhere pretty much makes you an asshole (and probably proud of it), so maybe my thinking is askew on this. Moving on.

Screaming at graduates. This is a two-edged sword for me because I don't mind the act of actually yelling during the graduation...but every time I've ever been to a graduation, the rules state to be quiet until all the graduates go through and then make noise. And, inevitably, the silence lasts three graduates and then the screaming begins. To what end? What is the point of making a complete ass of yourself as your friend or family member's name is called? The worst part is when the kid marching is obviously embarrassed by it. And, of course, the poor kid following either gets no applause at all or no one can hear his/her name being called due to the jackassery still going on as people scream and yell and tweet and whatever.

But the biggest jackasses of all are the people who allow this to go on. It happens every year and yet nothing ever changes. Why not just allow for the screaming? Encourage it. That way, everyone gets their applause and we can just move on. If it's a rule that you cannot or will not enforce, do away with it. I dunno. I've always been a guy who hates the Asshole Enabler as much as the Asshole. In this case, Clapp is the enabler of my asshole...wait...that doesn't sound right.

People leaving before the thing ends. This is just disrespectful and, again, blatant flouting of the few rules given at a graduation. Making a fuss and leaving after your loved one is called is not only a distraction, but pretty bleeding classless. Even worse...after the graduates are called but before they leave, someone getting up and moving out in front of the procession. The fucking procession!! This is like using the funeral procession to run red lights.

Inevitably, it's a large woman who is the culprit of the pre-procession dash. I'm not talking about merely a large person, though, or even a morbidly obese one. I'm talking Gigantor. A woman who has lost things in herself. You know the type. She's flying out of that graduation like a bat out of Hell. Where do you have to be that's so important as to jump in front of graduates?? And more importantly, if you're capable of moving at this speed, how did you get to be the size of the Hindenburg or Prince Fielder?

The mace. I don't know if all schools have such a thing, but here we have some sort of special mace that leads out the graduates. It's held by a guy wearing fancy white gloves and purports to be of some significance. I think the University would like you to think that it's kept it a glass air-tight case year round, protected by lasers and under constant scrutiny. My guess is that it's thrown into the President's closet and dusted off the day before. But the reason it really pisses me off so much is because I really just want to grab it and swing it.

Anyways, I find myself fixated on these points every time I go to a graduation and every time I get a little more agitated. Thankfully, I think I am done with graduations until my kids graduate...and, to my knowledge, I have no kids. And let's be realistic, what are the odds of my offspring ever graduating from anything?

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