Well, here we are. Maria Sharapova in the Wimbledon fucking Finals!

Yeah, it's been a tough road back to domination for the Thigh Goddess following shoulder surgery. But in 2011, she's looking like her old self, and a win today would basically scream, "MARIA'S BACK, BITCH!"

Let's do this.

First Set

It's nothing short of a shock that I'm awake, by the way. Fell asleep at probably 3:30 AM(7:00 AM Here now) watching PCU after plenty of drinks at the bar. But when the Thigh Goddess is in the Wimbledon Finals, I've got to be awake for this shit.

Petra Kvitova starts off with the serve. Point, Maria.

First game, Maria! Hahahhahahahahaa! Can we just call this match already?

Well, what the fuck? Three straight points for Kvitova(and this is really annoying to spell out) on Maria's serve? And we've now got a 1-1 score.

I'm a Twitter whore as you probably know, and I'll post some good tweets on here about the match as it goes along.
@TitanSD: @sharapovasthigh @robwright11 The most intriguing thing about Kvitova is her muffin top.
Uh oh. 40-15 Kvitova now. Nice point now for Maria, and again. We've got a deuce on our hands(and take that as you will).

Anybody want to make me some fucking waffles?

"She doesn't grunt quite the way Sharapova does, but after the play, she gives a little bark." What.

Well, son of a bitch. Kvitova with a 2-1 lead.

Sharapova serving at 40-30... need this point. Got it! We are tied 2-2.
@KeithSwiderski: Watching Wimbledon. Wife: "should I get a visor like Sharapova?" Me: "if it makes you look like Sharapova, then yes." Wife: not talking.
Kvitova has a 3-2 lead and is pissing me the fuck off.

Now a great point for Maria and she gives it some fist pump goodness.

Alright, if they keep showing Sasha Vujacic on camera, I'm going to break the hell out of something.

Stop with the double faults! Stop it!

I SAID STOP IT! STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4-2 Kvitova.

This. Is. Not. Good. 40-15 Kvitova, who is serving. For fucksakes, 5-2 Kvitova.


Now we've got a deuce. Very nice point for Maria for the advantage. Now she hits a forehand right into the net. And... now she hits a backhand right into the net. Set point for Kvitova... shit. ACE! Back to deuce! Jesus, Kvitova returns everything. Point Maria, though. GAME MARIA! 5-3.

Ugh. 40-0 Kvitova. And game. First set... 6-3 Kvitova.

Second Set

Well this is not good at all. Kvitova looks like a machine right now.

Maria challenges a call on her serve, turns out it was indeed out. And ANOTHER double fault, her fifth. Yikes... point Kvitova, Maria challenges again... replay shows it was indeed good. 1-0 Kvitova and just one challenge left for Maria.

Could this really be going any worse? Maria's all over the place with her serve and Kvitova is just kicking ass right now. I seriously hate that woman.

Now on a deuce, Maria hits a wide open forehand right into the net. 2-0 Kvitova. This is close to being over.

There we go! An ace! Keep that shit up! 30-0.

Boom, game. 2-1.

Holy shit! Incredible lob shot by Sharapova after returning a Kvitova smash. It's 2-2 now.

40-30 Maria. Needs this.

@jayson626: @sharapovasthigh NBC should go split screen with a camera focused solely on Maria's legs.
Fuck fuck fuck. Advantage Kvitova. Back to deuce.

Advantage Maria! And... deuce again. Blah blah blah, deuce again.

Kvitova's just ripping the ball right now. She has the advantage. And on cue, she has maybe her best forehand of the game. Get that shit out of here, Kvitova! 3-2 lead for her.

30-15 Kvitova... and then she misses a wide open shot. Worst miss of the day. Keep it up! Then of course she follows that up with a ridiculous backhand return. 40-30.

Phew, Sharapova comes away with the game. 3-3. STOP SHOWING SASHA!

This is pissing me off. Kvitova is now up 5-3 and will get the chance to serve for the match, unless she just gets it here. 15-0 Maria, though.

Well, Maria with the game, to make it 5-4. Kvitova serving for the title though.

Kvitova with the match and is the Wimbledon champion.

Well that blows. Maria just didn't really have it today(especially on her serve), and to give credit where credit is due, Kvitova was sensational. The good news is that Maria's making strides this year, after her game was pretty much lost for awhile after shoulder surgery. She'll get a major victory soon.

Whatever the case, at least Maria's the thigh champion.

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