March 2011 | Sharapova's Thigh

Are the Denver Nuggets missing Carmelo Anthony? Nope. In fact, they're a better team than before the trade.

Why? Three of the main reasons are because the post-Melo Nuggets are playing sensational defense, moving the ball well, and playing fast with the ball.

They showed all of that off on a play in Wednesday's night win over the Sacramento Kings, when Wilson Chandler(acquired in the Melo trade) pulled off a Javale McGee-esque block/steal, and the possession ended with a terrific Danilo Gallinari(also acquired in the Melo trade) dunk after great ball movement.

Here's video:



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Last night, my Chicago Bulls crushed the Minnesota Timberwolves by a 108-91 score. It was of course fun for me to watch, but ugly for anybody that wasn't a Bulls fan.

And pretty much everything about the Timberwolves this season has been awful to watch, aside from Kevin Love, who is having a historically incredible season. But even he had a "FAIL" moment in this game.

Watch Bulls' rookie seven-footer Omer Asik show off his outstanding defensive skills with this rejection of Love:



As Bulls' color commentator(and former player) Stacey King says during Omer's great plays, "Asik and destroy!"

H/T: Docksquad Sports

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Oh absolutely not.

I mean, I can tell you right away this chick's a stage five clinger. I don't care if all you do is accidentally tough her leg once, I'd give it even odds that she's standing outside your bedroom window the next morning. And if you give her a kiss, and especially if you go diving downstairs, consider yourself super stalked for six months+. We're talking doors locked 24/7 and change-your-phone-number territory.

Putting all of that aside, I can pretty much assure you this chick's gross. The desperation clearly shows it. Any decently attractive chick doesn't have to work hard at all on a voicemail.

Oh, and she's into yo-yos. That's pretty much all you need to know.

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Washington Wizards' point guard John Wall punched Miami Heat veteran center Zydrunas Ilgauskas tonight, after Ilgauskas had been elbowing the Wizards' star rookie.

Here's video:




John Wall vs. Zydrunas Ilgauskas... not exactly a fight you'd expect to break out.

Wall and Ilgauskas were of course ejected, as was Heat veteran forward Juwan Howard.

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Crazy dribbling skills and all, but dude, pass the fucking ball.

I mean, he's easily the biggest ball hog I've ever seen. Not once in that video did he attempt a pass.

I can just tell that's how he always is too. Many times in there he had half of the opposition defending him. The rest of his team's wide open, but he doesn't care. He just sits there dribbling over and over like he's a Harlem Globetrotter.

Look kid, that's going to work now in your Japanese youth league, but in a few years the defense is going to steal that shit away like it's nothing. They're going to slide tackle your ass, and a lot, especially because of how much you're hot dogging it. It's just like how in youth baseball you can get away with showing off. Then you get to high school and the pitcher will throw right at your head in a heartbeat for it. Boom, concussion and lesson learned.

Also, I'd love to see him try his crazy dribbling against countries that are, you know, actually good at soccer. European and South American kids would put his selfish act to a stop quickly.

Anyway, one of these days, one of his teammates is going to kick his ass. You know they all want to, just like the entire league does. And it will be the best thing that could ever happen to him.

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Irina Shayk Thigh Fives The 3/30/11 Links

Posted by Matt Clapp | 3/30/2011 03:07:00 PM

See Many More Irina Shayk Pics For Luli Fama At Popoholic

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So this IT worker usually joins his office's weekly lottery pool, and he decided to pass on it last week. Well, that turned out to be a bad decision; a really bad decision.

That's because his co-workers hit the $319 Mega Millions jackpot. Ouch.

From the New York Post:
A hapless state information-technology worker who usually joined his office lottery pool took a pass last week -- only to learn that seven positive-thinking pals nailed a whopping $319 million Mega Millions jackpot, said a deli owner who knows the winners.

"The word is that when they were going around the office asking who wanted in on the pool, one guy said no, that he wasn't feeling lucky," said Jill Cook, who with husband Tom owns Cook's Deli in Albany, where the winners are lunchtime regulars.

"They asked him twice. They said, 'Are you sure?' and he said yeah, he was going to pass this time. I feel horrible for him," Jill said.

The number of players in the pool varied from week to week, she said, and the identity of the mystery loser -- who could have won a $16 million after-tax share under the lottery's lump-sum option -- was as elusive as those of the big winners, who sources say worked in IT for the state Homes and Community Renewal agency.

Cook said the geek squad came in for lunch daily -- but haven't been seen since beating the one-in-176-million odds in Friday's drawing. Customers who know the winners told her they weren't planning to return to their jobs -- except to pass along unfinished business to colleagues.
If this guy doesn't end up killing himself, or at least doesn't end up in a mental institution, I'm extremly impressed. 16 million freaking dollars. This will haunt him for the rest of his life.

And there's absolutely nothing anybody can say to make him feel better. I'd stay the hell away from him. Odds are he's just going to flip out any time somebody brings it up, and there's a good chance he's got a gun at his side 24/7 now, as he's likely contemplating shooting himself 24/7.

Part of you says, "The co-workers should at least give him SOMETHING." Maybe team up to toss him a nice vacation package to a tropical island for a couple weeks. Maybe send him a ton of booze, which he's going to need. Maybe let him hang by the pool on the reg at their soon-to-be mansions.

But then again, they asked him twice, so they don't "owe" him anything.

So anyway, if you're having a rough day, at least you're not this guy.

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Don't Mess With Store Clerks In Denver

Posted by Matt Clapp | 3/30/2011 01:51:00 PM | , , , ,

As you probably know, I live in the Denver area. As you also probably know, I am pretty much a nightlife addict.

That of course means I'll make the occasional stumble into a convenience store for my munchies crave at 3 AM, since nowhere else is open.

So it's nice to know that if some homeboy rolls into a 7-11 late at night with a gun, the Denver clerks are ready to stand up to that shit.

Watch video of a convenience store clerk disarm a robber on March 18th in Denver:



Absolutely badass.

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On Monday we featured Kaley Cuoco on the site for the first time. We showed you how Kaley Cuoco owns a shake weight, and demonstrated her skills with it on Ellen. You all loved it.

Now, she's rolling with weirdass mascots. Wait, what? She made the shake weight to mascot transition?

I'm not liking this. Kaley, more shake weight, less mascots. We're trying to get you more respect on here, but shit like this just isn't going to cut it. It's hard to focus on your hot self when these creepy things are also in the picture.

And please don't tell me there was a reason you were practicing with that shake weight before seeing the mascots.

P.S. What in the fuck are those mascots supposed to be?

H/T: Hollywood Tuna

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Awesomeness: Monster Truck Backflip

Posted by Matt Clapp | 3/30/2011 12:35:00 PM | , ,

I hate everything about the monster truck world.

Trailer trash left and right, all of the promoters talking like Satan, the venues usually being old arenas that we forgot existed anymore until the monster truck events come along, etc. Ugly and smelly people, ugly and smelly people talking like Satan, in an ugly and smelly old arena? Pass.

But I will say this monster truck video you're about to see is badass to the max.

Watch as Ryan Anderson does a backflip with his monster truck at Monster Jam 2011:



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Here's a cover song WIN about the VCU Rams' improbable run to the Final Four:


H/T: Barstool Sports Boston

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Maria Sharapova Thigh Fives The 3/29/11 Links

Posted by Matt Clapp | 3/29/2011 03:54:00 PM | , ,

See More Pictures At Zimbio Of Maria Sharapova Winning Her Match Yesterday
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I moved to Colorado(where I still am) when I was in sixth grade, and the elementary school's semester had already started. A couple of weeks into school, we had to go on a week-long field trip to Estes Park. I'd never even heard of Estes Park, but it was probably the best thing that could've happened to me as an introduction to Colorado.

Estes Park is an absolutely beautiful mountain town, with ideal outdoor activity everywhere near the area. Rocky Mountain National Park is located there, and we spent much time hiking there on our trip. What it didn't take long to find out is that there are a shitload of elk there. And those motherfuckers are huge, intimidating animals.

Well, in the summer, the elk are really out and about around the town, as this very cool video shows:


Crazy. They're just going to Taco Bell for some lunch, going for a nice walk around town in the sun, hanging at the golf course, fighting over chicks... they sound way too much like us.

And what's the deal with the people(clearly idiot tourists as the locals have to know better) in the video just standing around the elk like they're all at a singles mingle? Hey old fart in the purple sweater, stop thinking about your diet coke and get the fuck out of there. That's an angry 900-pound beast that probably just had some other 900-pound beast rail his woman and he's not in the mood for your Dick Cheney-like giggles about that Murder, She Wrote episode you just watched. You're lucky he didn't make you look like a blood-filled coat hanging on his antlers.

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By now you've likely seen either the photos, or the trailer for Your Highness, that show Natalie Portman's ass in a thong. Well, FilmDrunk's done some extensive research to learn that it's not actually Portman's fine ass, but a body double's.

Now, as FilmDrunk explains, the following picture(where her crack is blocked) is indeed 100% Portman:


But the ones where her ass is facing you when she's about to dive into the water? Apparently not her.

Here's those NSFW-ish photos:


Man, I'm really starting to get sick of these body doubles and CGI "doubles" for these hot actresses. These films promote it over and over to get you into the theater, and afterward you go around telling all your friends, "Holy shit they did actually show Natalie Portman's ass! You have to see it."

Then weeks later you all find out you've been staring at the ass of some second-rate model you've never heard of and will never see again, or like in the case of Jessica Alba's half-nude shower scene in Machete, a fucking computer-created body.

Well film companies, we're not going to buy into this shit much longer. Soon(and for me already), whenever we hear a Portman, Alba, Megan Fox, or Scarlett Johansson type of actress is showing off their bare goods in a movie, we're going to immediately assume that's not actually their bare goods. I'll wait for much more evidence to prove otherwise, like quotes from the actual actresses that say something like, "Yeah, you better believe that's my fine ass. You've all been begging me to show it off and I finally did. Impressed? Thought so."

Even after that, I'm still just going to look at the pictures on the Internet instead of dropping $10 to see some shitty movie.

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I totally thought that I had Kaley Cuoco as a Thigh of the Week on here before. Turns out I was wrong. I at least could've sworn she'd been featured on the site in some capacity. Wrong again.

Well, I think this is a good way to get her on the site...

Watch Kaley use a shake weight on Ellen, while hilariously explaining her shake weight use:


I have to say that she could work on her technique a bit. But if she keeps practicing, it will come to her. And take that sentence as you wish.

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Earlier I showed you how Jose Canseco did not go to a Celebrity Boxing event that he was supposed to attend, and instead tried to fool everybody by having his twin brother Ozzie attend in his place. With the media naturally jumping all over that story and of course trashing Canseco for it, Canseco's tweeted away with crazy responses, as you knew he would.

Here's my favorite:


Link: Jose Canseco's Twitter

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(Note: If you want to skip my personal story and just get to the video, scroll down)

In the summer before my senior year of high school, my buddy and I started playing some tennis at the local park. It was just a fun activity to get in shape and enjoy the sun.

We had absolutely no idea what the hell we were doing, and were baseball players. So because of our swing technique, about half of the shots we'd take would land outside of the tennis court.

As for the rules, the only ones we knew were from playing Virtua Tennis like we were getting paid to on Sega Dreamcast, or from watching the occasional tennis on television.

Well, when school started back up, we'd joked around with the high school tennis coach(who we'd both been friends with prior to this) about how we'd been hitting the tennis ball around quite a bit in the previous few months. He told us to play for the team, to which my friend and I just laughed at.

He said something along the lines of, "No, seriously. You guys are athletic and can pick the game up quickly. I'll help you with that. It will also keep you in good shape for the baseball season. If you suck, oh well. It'll be fun."

So my buddy and I thought it over and ultimately decided, "Sure, why not?"

Our coach had us scrimmaging against the bottom of the doubles teams to begin with. I remember the first day; yikes. The two guys we played kicked our asses and laughed about how clueless we were with the rules and whatnot.

As our coach suggested would be the case, we indeed started to pick the game up quickly after that. In what couldn't have been more than two weeks after those guys destroyed us, we destroyed them. They were no longer laughing at us.

After being a laughable afterthought, we were quickly moving up the Varsity doubles ranks on our team. Coach had us at #5(so we were playing the other schools' #5 doubles teams) to start the season, and would be the #2 doubles team just a month later.

One match was particularly memorable and an absolute, "Hey, we're getting actually decent at this sport" moment. Our match was the last one going on between the two schools. The score between the two schools was tied, so our match was deciding the winner. Every player from each team, and every person that had been in attendance, now turned their attention to our court. Quite a bit of pressure on a couple of guys that couldn't even get a serve inbounds just a few months before this.

The conclusion of the match went into a tiebreaker, which we had never been in before. So we're standing around having no idea what to do, with the other team explaining to us what to do on each point. The match went down to the last possible point, and we won. We went nuts like we had won a national championship. We got on the team bus and were treated like kings by the rest of our team.

In all my years of playing sports, that was probably my most enjoyable moment, in what was my most enjoyable season as an athlete. We just went out and had fun, which I think actually made us play much better.

And I think if we'd been playing singles instead of doubles, it wouldn't have been nearly as fun. My buddy and I had a blast out there together, quoting movies, doing our stupid celebrations, etc. Additionally, we knew each other's games more than anybody else did, so we could basically serve as coaches for each other on the court. When you're out there playing singles, you don't have that luxury.


Anyway, I was reminded about all of that, and decided I'd share all of that, because of an absolutely incredible video involving doubles tennis action that I came across. Doubles takes a very distant back seat to singles in the spotlight, mainly because there's not much room on the court for highlight-esque plays. It's not like singles where Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer are running all over the court to make a ridiculous play. You basically have your "area", and that's the area you will be around most of the time.

But finally, let's get to the video that is likely the only thing 99% of you care about in this post.

Watch tennis stars Andy Murray and Novak Djokovic battle Mikhail Youzhny and Sergiy Stakhovsky in this unbelievable doubles point from the Sony Ericsson Open in Miami:



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The Petebox, as he's known, showed of his incredible beatboxing musical talents in this video where he plays the Pixies' terrific song, "Where Is My Mind?".

Here's The Petebox's YouTube description of the video:
Here's my new vid - a cover of a song by one of my favourite bands.
The track is made live using a guitar, beatbox, voice and an RC-50 loop station.
The reverb on the vocals at the end is off a Kaoss Pad which only features at the end for the reverb effect (u can see 2 but that's to do a different track we filmed after!)
There's nothing prerecorded or added post recording, it's all live!

So there you go. Now watch this awesomeness:



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Los Angeles Lakers guard Shannon Brown is one of the best dunkers in the NBA. If Shannon played 35 minutes per game(he plays 19.3 minutes per), we'd probably see almost as many highlight-worthy dunks from him as we do from Blake Griffin.

Last night in a home game against the New Orleans Hornets, Shannon showed off a creative dunk where he smoothly moved the ball from his right to left hand in mid-air.

Here's video:



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If you read us on the reg, you know that we've had a shitload of posts relating to former major leaguer, and lifetime psycho, Jose Canseco. Usually, they're from the gold mine that is his Twitter account. This time, though, it's about something that's actually in the news headlines.

You see, on Saturday night, Jose was scheduled to participate in a Celebrity Boxing event at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood, Florida. Instead, Jose sent his twin brother Ozzie to the event:
A representative of the firm Celebrity Boxing confirmed Sunday that Canseco was a no-show Saturday at a boxing event in Hollywood – and instead sent his twin brother Ozzie in his place, El Nuevo Herald has learned

Some 30 minutes before his bout against Billy Padden at the Passion nightclub at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, it was discovered that the Canseco who was in South Florida ready to fight was not the same guy who hit 462 homeruns in the Major Leagues.

Damon Feldman, promoter of the celebrity boxing program, which also includes female boxing, had tell about 400 fans who had paid their tickets that there would not be a fight.

“We discovered the Canseco who showed up was Ozzie when he took off his shirt and didn’t have José’s tattoos on the biceps that appear in our advertising,” a Celebrity Boxing representative told El Nuevo Herald. The man said he did not want to be identified.

José Canseco did not respond to telephone calls.

On Sunday, however, José Canseco posted two messages on Twitter saying: “Damon Feldman did not comply with his part of the agreement,” and “be careful with Damon Feldman, the Celebrity Boxing leader, who will not pay you if you fight for him.”

The same source said that the agreed fee for José Canseco to fight in South Florida was $10,000.

“We made him a transfer of $5,000 when we agreed on the fight,” the source said. “Hours before the fight Saturday, we issued a check for the remaining $5,000 in the name of José Canseco, and we delivered it to whom we thought was José Canseco. He declined it and asked that the check be made out to cash, which we did.

Source: Miami Herald

Oh Jose. You're about the last person that should try to be sly like this.

Also, one of these days, Ozzie is going to kick Jose's ass. And it's going to be hilarious.

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Serena Williams is "The World's Sexiest Tennis Player"? Um, hell no. Ever heard of a lady named Maria Sharapova, the Thigh Goddess? I would've even understood if you went with, say, Ana Ivanovic for "The World's Sexiest Tennis Player". But Serena Williams? Come on now. She's more of a man than a chick.

Anyway, the reason I even came across that picture is because it's in a banned commercial for 2K Sports' tennis video game, Top Spin 4. It was banned because it shows Serena Williams and some other chick playing the game in skanky clothing, with lots of grunts that sound like very sexual moans.

Here's video:



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Alonzo Mourning was an NBA champion(with the Miami Heat), a seven-time All-Star, and a two-time winner of the Defensive Player of the Year award. That's a pretty damn good career.

On top of that, he's just a good dude. Alonzo has done a ton of work with charity and helping out the community. He was always an incredibly well-respected player by his teammates and people around the NBA.

That respect increased to another level when he dealt with a kidney disease, needed a kidney transplant, and remarkably returned to the NBA after missing nearly two entire seasons. He also helped the Heat win the 2005-2006 championship after that.

Well, even after being retired for a few years, Alonzo is still making news, and as you'd expect with him, for the right reasons.

Found at the outstanding Ball Don't Lie, with the quote and story originally coming from the Orlando Sentinel:

Mourning's vehicle had been sitting in traffic on the right lane, when he spotted a disabled person sitting in a motorized wheelchair along the curb. Mourning jumped out of his SUV, stood in the road and stopped traffic by raising his long arms, while the wheelchair-bound pedestrian made it to the median. Then, the seven-time NBA All-Star who was wearing a white dress shirt and tie with slacks, immediately went to the southbound lanes and raised his arms to command stunned drivers to stop. All traffic movement instantly stopped, and the wheelchair safely made it to the other side.

After making sure the citizen was safe on the other side of the road, Mourning lowered his arms and headed to his SUV to the sound of cheering fans, who recognized the 6-foot-10 temporary crossing guard. Mourning modestly acknowledged the cheers with a wave of his hand and ducked back into his SUV.

Awesome stuff.

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Major League Baseball pitcher Livan Hernandez is clearly full of rage. I mean, do you remember when he tried to hit a 65-year-old dude with a golf club? And about that, do you really need a golf club to beat up a senior citizen when you're a professional baseball player?

He's also paid people $50 if they let him punch them in the groin, and an additional $300 for every 10th punch. Wait, what?

From D.C. Sports Bog, via The Wall Street Journal:

Pitcher Livan Hernandez became something of a sadistic benefactor when he arrived in Arizona in 2006. Motuzas said Hernandez once paid him $3,000 to drink a gallon of milk in 12 minutes. The two also hammered out a deal that permitted Hernandez to punch Motuzas in the groin for $50 a pop whenever he felt the urge. Motuzas would receive a $300 bonus after every 10th punch.

Things got really interesting one season when Hernandez got his hands on some rubber nunchucks. (”A gift from a fan,” former Diamondbacks pitcher Brandon Webb said.) Hernandez, who now pitches for the Washington Nationals, would put them to use now and then by blindfolding Motuzas. “And then he’d come up and whip the s--- out of me,” said Motuzas, who was compensated for this, as well. “That was just his thing. Great guy, though.”
Jeff Motuzas is a bullpen catcher for the Arizona Diamondbacks, and as that linked Wall Street Journal article(which you should definitely read) shows, will eat or drink pretty much anything for money. And he'll apparently let you punch him in the balls for money as well.

I've spent literally the last hour wondering to myself, "Would I let Livan Hernandez punch me in the balls for $50, and receive a 10th punch for an extra $300?" To the latter part, I would not allow that, especially if these punches come anywhere close to repeatedly.

I would have to be drunk or on painkillers to willingly take a single punch for $50 I think. That's really all I can come up with. And even then, there's no guarantees. I sit here and say, "Yeah, maybe I'd do that." But if Livan Hernandez walks up to me getting ready to strike, I could see myself backing out of that deal rather quickly. And if there's any golf clubs or nunchucks nearby, I'm especially getting the hell out of that.

Also, does it make you crazier to pay people to let you punch them in the balls, or to be the one receiving the punches for money? That's another interesting topic for debate.

Anyway guys... poll time:




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It Does Go Great With Cock

Posted by Matt Clapp | 3/24/2011 06:00:00 PM |

Here's the latest hilarious Freudian slip to hit the web:


As The Daily What said, "I’ll take your word for it, Nancy."

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I recently posted about the lovely Los Angeles Kings Ice Crew girl Vanessa. Then later in the day, the Kings contacted me saying they have videos/pictures available for all of these beautiful ladies featured in their bikini calendar. So guess what? I'm going to keep posting them.

The latest beautiful Ice Crew girl we're checking out is Nikki. Watch video of Nikki in action:



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Lucy Pinder Thigh Fives The 3/24/11 Links

Posted by Matt Clapp | 3/24/2011 02:28:00 PM | ,

Thigh Five From Lucy Pinder!
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Charlotte Cross is a die-hard Lakers fan. She also happens to be an incredible 106 years old, and still watches every single Lakers game. The fact that she's still living after watching that many games of her own team shows they've been pretty successful. No way the Cubs alone will let me live anywhere close to that age. They've surely taken years off my life already.

Anyway, like most die-hard fans, Charlotte has that one player on her team that drives her crazy. Who is it on the Lakers? Veteran forward Lamar Odom:
Charlotte is not the sort of fan who shouts at the TV, but if she does have a gripe, it's usually with Lamar Odom. She complains that the Lakers forward and husband of reality TV star Khloe Kardashian, "isn't energetic enough."

Her eyesight is going though, Tony tells me, so Charlotte sometimes blames Odom for things that aren't even his fault. "She'll get mad that Lamar is missing a basket when in reality he actually made it."
Link: OC Register

So take that, Lamar! You may have a dream life that 99.9% of us are envious of, but the elderly do not like you.

H/T: SPORTSbyBROOKS Live

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This has passed up "Regulate" for my favorite rap song ever. It's a song by Lil Deuce Deuce about the Mighty Ducks(the team from the movies), titled "Quack Attack".

Warning, the lyrics are NSFW(and the lyrics do pop up on the screen in case you thought your headphones would solve that problem).

Via Barstool Sports Boston:



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In tonight's Miami Heat-Detroit Pistons game, Rodney Stuckey was kind enough to provide another highlight for us to make fun of Chris Bosh. And unless you're a Heat fan, you likely enjoy such highlights.

Watch Stuckey's posterizing dunk over Bosh:



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Rajon Rondo is not a very good shooter. That's a known fact. He's a sensational point guard and is as good as anybody in the league at setting his teammates up. On a team where he's surrounded by great talent such as Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, and Ray Allen, he's a perfect fit. They don't need him shooting much; they just want him setting up the other players for success. And he does a great job of that.

But when you get wide open, very high percentage shots, you have to take them. Like, if you are dribbling on a fastbreak with the opposing team's players behind you, you take the ball to the basket, and either get the layup or at least draw a foul. With the Celtics down one point to the Grizzlies tonight and 2:40 to go in the game, Rondo passed up such an opportunity.

Video via @jamfan40:



The Grizzlies would go on to win 90-87, and the Celtics fell a full game behind the Bulls for the #1 seed in the East.

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You likely remember Serene Branson incoherently reporting live from the Grammys in February. It was thought by most that she had a stroke, but it was later concluded by doctors that she had a severe form of a migraine.

Now we have video of another news reporter tossing out incoherent speech on live television. Global Toronto released a statement on the reporter's condition following the incident:
While on the air during the 6:00 PM News Hour broadcast on Monday, March 21, Global Toronto reporter Mark McAllister suffered a minor medical issue causing him to experience a moment of disorientation. Paramedics were immediately called to the scene, where Mark was fully checked out and is feeling better. As a precaution, Mark will be pursuing this matter with his own doctor.
Here's video of McAllister's report:



Say what?

In all seriousness, glad to hear he's okay.

H/T: TheStar.Com

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Somebody got bored and decided to make a video showing what it would look like if lightsabers were used in place of racquets in badminton. Naturally.

Here's the awesome video:



My mind is blown. This would be a perfect sport for ESPN 8: The Ocho.

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WTF Puck?

Posted by Matt Clapp | 3/23/2011 05:37:00 PM | , , , , , ,

In Monday night's Kings-Flames game, Calgary's Jarome Iginla blasted a shot past Los Angeles goalie Jonathan Quick that appeared to be headed into the net. However, the puck made an incredibly unusual turn that a puck should not be able to do, and avoided the net.

Here's video:



How in the hell does that happen? I think it's the magic of the Kings' lovely Ice Crew girls(Check out Vanessa and Debbie with more ladies on the way here) .

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South Padre Island spring break: Been there, done that.

It was definitely a freaking blast, and I'd advise any college student to spend a spring break there. It's a drunken festival all over the beach. The hotels turn into a 24/7 dorm-like party. Drunk hot ladies all over the place, and wearing practically nothing. To summarize, it's a party dream for college students, or any party animals in their 20s really.

But, with all of the booze involved and plenty of douchebags, there's fights left and right. And we're talking some vicious beatings.

I saw a dude get knocked the hell out on the beach. One punch to the face, and boom, he was out cold. Not once had I seen anything like that in person.

So I always laugh/shake my head when I see videos like this, and think, "Yep, that's a South Padre Island spring break":



H/T: Barstool Sports Philly

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Yesterday I posted about the lovely Los Angeles Kings Ice Crew girl Vanessa. Then later in the day, the Kings contacted me saying they have videos/pictures available for all of these beautiful ladies featured in their bikini calendar. So guess what? I'm going to keep posting them.

The latest up is Debbie. Check out her hotness in action:



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I Feel Like I'm Watching Jaws

Posted by Matt Clapp | 3/23/2011 01:02:00 PM | , ,

This video I found via BroBible looks like a scene straight out of Jaws:



The difference is that guy didn't get eaten or at least have a leg chomped off, because that's a basking shark approaching his kayak. Basking sharks, which are the world's second-largest shark, don't eat people; they eat plankton. And their teeth are tiny anyway if one decided to go against their traditional eating habits.

Still, that video has quite a terrifying feel to it. You've got a 20-foot shark approaching a dude that's just chilling on his kayak, while all of these people scream from the pier to him about the shark's path.

The kayaker apparently jumped into the Panama City Beach water and swam with the shark as well, according to the video uploader, Captain Linda Cavitt:

yes he was eaten part 2 is coming....j/k no it's a docile basking shark, they eat plankton. The kayaker did jump in the water and swim with the shark though but as soon as Josh grabbed it's tail the shark swam away from him

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I was just checking out theScore.Com's Buzz section which I run on weekends(and which you should bookmark, visit everyday, worship, etc.), and came across something that almost made me need to change my shorts.

I really don't even know how to explain this or what to say. It's beyond words:



What. In. The. Fuck? Now, surely you've seen the other creepy cricket fan which I posted a couple weeks ago. If you haven't, here's video of that:


I didn't think it was possible to be creepier than that guy. I'm not just talking about at a cricket match, but just in general. And then here we are a couple weeks later with an arguably creepier cricket fan caught on tape? How is that possible? I will officially never, ever even think of attending a cricket match, at least out of this country. And when are we going to have a cricket match going on in the states anyway? Not happening anywhere around me.

Now, for the most important poll of the century. Get your vote on:




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Coming into tonight, the Washington Wizards' JaVale McGee was third in the NBA in blocks(156). And tonight, he had his best block yet.

Watch McGee humiliate the Portland Trail Blazers' Wesley Matthews on this block, via @OutsideTheNBA:



That's one of the most incredible blocks I've ever seen.

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The NFL has approved the Competition Committee's proposal to move kickoffs from the 30- to the 35-yard line.

Two-man wedges are still allowed, but touchbacks will soar across the league. The idea is to improve player safety. Touchbacks will still be returned to the 20-yard line in the "modified" proposal. The Committee initially recommended to move them up to the 25-yard line and disallow wedges altogether. Regardless, players like Devin Hester and Leon Washington now have less value.
(Link: Rotoworld)

I hate this rule and all of the rule changes we keep seeing for player safety. It's a gladiator sport; keep it that way. It's what we pay a ton of money to see and why the NFL has been the most popular sport in America.

The kickoff is where the excitement starts. It's also where a team can immediately make up for their defense sucking on the previous drive. And the NFL basically says with this rule, "Let's try for more touchbacks so there's a 1% less chance of a player getting injured." Fun stuff guys.

And yeah, I definitely don't like the new rule as a Bears fan, since the Bears of course have the best kick return unit in the NFL. Devin Hester is of course a part of that, and he tweeted a response to the rule changes:

Link(Devin Hester's Twitter)

Love it.

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The Los Angeles Kings have 14 girls for their 2010-2011 "Ice Crew" bikini calendar. One of the beautiful Ice Crew girls goes by the name of Vanessa, and the Kings released a video of her showing off her golden thigh and more.

Check it out:



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Is This The Worst Possible Way To Show Up To Your DWI Hearing?

Posted by Matt Clapp | 3/22/2011 03:30:00 PM | , , , , ,

Keith Gruber is a New York resident that was arrested on December 27th for a DWI. Yesterday was his hearing for the DWI, and he showed up to court an hour and a half late, drunk, holding an open can of Busch beer, and carrying a bag that contained four more cans of Busch.

Don't believe me? Here's proof from RecordOnline.Com:

A Swan Lake man facing a felony driving-while -intoxicated charge showed up at Sullivan County Court on Monday with a bag full of beer — and was promptly thrown in jail without bail, officials said.

Keith Gruber, 49, had a scheduled 10:30 a.m. pretrial hearing.

Gruber came to court about an hour and a half late carrying a black bag that contained four cans of Busch beer, authorities said. He also was carrying an open can and was obviously drunk, officials said.


LaBuda asked Gruber if he enjoyed his "liquid lunch." Gruber indicated he did and said he was sorry.

"It was obvious he was intoxicated," LaBuda said.

Gruber, who has prior DWI convictions, was arrested Dec. 27 in the town of Liberty and was out on $30,000 cash bail.

LaBuda put Gruber in jail with no bail.

Man, that's a new one. The judge(LaBuda) had to be happy. I mean, you walk in for a hearing about your alleged drunk driving, and you're drunk while carrying more beer... pretty easy for the judge to decide what to do.

But what's Gruber thinking? Was he just like, "Fuck it, I'm going to jail and might as well go out on top"? If so, you've gotta roll in with something better than Busch.

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Rachel Bilson Thigh Fives The 3/22/11 Links

Posted by Matt Clapp | 3/22/2011 03:04:00 PM | ,

See More Of Rachel Bilson At The Beer Goggler
Sports
Entertainment
Booze
Thighs
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I struggled to believe this video could be real, but after watching it a couple times, I'm convinced it is. It's of a 12-year-old making basically trick beer pong shots, minus any beer since, you know, he's 12.

As someone that's spent way too much of their life playing beer pong and ping pong, I'm pretty damn impressed. Some of these shots must have taken hours to master, but I respect the effort. Maybe this dude is a dork now, but he is going to be the king of parties(and then of course the ladies) when he hits college in six years or so. It's worth mastering this skill.

Check it out:



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Earlier I showed you some great pictures of Candice Swanepoel from a photo shoot for Seth Sabal. Now, her Victoria's Secret Angel friend, Miranda Kerr:


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Another game, and another awesome highlight from Chicago Bulls point guard Derrick Rose. Watch D-Rose throw down a reverse jam in tonight's game against the Sacramento Kings:



H/T: @b_zak

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