July 2011 | Sharapova's Thigh

Da Bear Necessities. That was the winner of the poll that many of you voted in this past week.

Technically "The Bear Necessities" won, but somebody's already parked a domain for that, as well as one for just "Bear Necessities". And I'm not going to pay some asshat a lot of money for those like they'd surely demand.

So, "Da Bear Necessities" is what I went with, which I actually think I like even more(my sister suggested that originally by the way, so props to her). Additionally "Da Blog" finished second in the poll, so we're at least going to have the "Da" around for those that voted for that one.

As for when the blog will be launched... that's still a work in progress. Hell, I'm trying to figure out what layout theme to use(maybe like this and The Friendly Blogfines, but it might be difficult with the banner we're planning on). Hopefully we'll get it set up in the next few days though.

Until then, I've at least set up a Twitter account for it. So those of you that have been following my Thigh Twitter account and getting extremely annoyed by my constant Bears tweets during free agency can rejoice.

My Bears blog Twitter name is... @DaBearNecess

Wait, what? Well unfortunately DaBearNecessities is too many characters(Damn you, Twitter!), and BearNecessities is already in use. So that's the best I could do. Anyway, if you're a Bears fan or NFL fan, feel free to follow me.

Thanks to all of you who voted, and I hope you like the name.

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Here we have Nikita not wanting to participate in some rope-swinging that her guy friends want her to. Well, she did it anyway due the power of peer pressure, and now her face hurts:


Ouch. At least he had a good sense of humor about the whole thing.

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Watch Jon Lajoie's Latest Single, "F**k Everything"

Posted by Matt Clapp | 7/29/2011 05:07:00 PM | , , , ,

Jon Lajoie's a Youtube sensation, comedian, and musician, who you may know best from playing the hilarious character "Taco" on The League, has a new single out. And it's tremendous. Just poetic, romantic lyrics throughout.

Here it is(and it's very NSFW as you could surely tell from the title):



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Note: If you watch this on drugs, you're in for an interesting trip...


Thigh Five: Bob's Blitz

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When I posted the amazing "Melanie Iglesias Flip Book" video a few days ago, I hinted at Melanie Iglesias getting a "Thigh of the Week" soon. Welp, here you go.

All you really need to know about Melanie is that she was Maxim's 2010 Hometown Hotties member, and that she is a World Poker Tour "Royal Flush Girl". Anyway, here's more pics, and even a video at the bottom:




Remember to e-mail(sharapovasthigh@gmail.com) in your suggestions for any Thigh of the Week ladies(or e-mail in any suggestions/tips in general).

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The Eugene Emeralds(class-A affiliate of the San Diego Padres) held a "Blue Balls"(click that link if you need an explanation) promotion for a game on June 18th. No, seriously.

And during what must've been a break in between innings on "Blue Balls" night, a couple of mascots played a game of musical chairs with a couple of bat boys. Well, watch what happened to mascot "Doug Fir" as he celebrated his musical chairs victory:


Ouch.

Thigh Five: Guyism

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See Much More Of Candice Swanepoel At Hollywood Tuna

First Off, Make Sure To Vote For What I Should Name My Chicago Bears Blog. Then, Check Out These Great Links...

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Vote For What I Should Name My Upcoming Chicago Bears Blog

Posted by Matt Clapp | 7/26/2011 08:48:00 PM | ,

Last year, I wanted to create a Chicago Bears blog, much like the Chicago Cubs blog I have. I spent hours trying to think up a good name for the blog, and the best names I came up with were Monsters of the Blogway and Super Blog Shuffle. I wasn't completely sold on either name though, and I finally just gave up like the lazy jackass I am.

Well today, I was tweeting away a ton about the Bears, as the first day of free agency started. And I likely annoyed many of you. So I finally decided, yeah, I need to start a Bears blog, and put my thoughts there(And/or the Twitter account I'll have for it), rather than annoying all of you on Twitter that could give a rat's ass about the Bears.

I also then decided that I'd get all of you involved to help think up a name for the blog, so that I know for sure that I, and you, will be satisfied with the choice. What I did was take a ton of blog name nominations on Twitter, and pick what I thought were the best of those(And all of you that contributed did a terrific job. Shake it off if one of your suggestions isn't on here), and created a poll featuring them.

So, you'll get to vote for what you think I should name the blog. I'll leave up the poll for at least a week or until there's a clear winner.

And before you vote, let me explain the meaning of a few of the suggestions that you may not fully understand...

The Bear Necessities: As in the song "The Bare Necessities", from the Disney movie The Jungle Book. The plan for our banner would then be to feature Baloo, a bear in the movie that is singing the song, wearing a Bears jersey.

Between The Gould Posts: Using the name of Bears kicker Robbie Gould and the field goal posts that he of course kicks through.

Cutler's Sigh: Mocking the displeasure that Bears quarterback Jay Cutler frequently displays, and using a word that rhymes with "Sharapova's Thigh".

Da Blog: As in "Da Bears!"

The Halas Grail: As in "The Holy Grail", and featuring the name of George Halas, a legendary former player, coach, and owner of the Bears.

Hurricane Ditka: From an SNL sketch, where the "Super Fans" asked who would win in a fight between a hurricane and former Bears player and coach Mike Ditka, and one of them answered, "What if the hurricane's named is Ditka?"

Matt's Forte: Pretty easy to figure out if you watch much football. Matt Forte is the Bears running back, and my name is of course Matt as well, so it could work for both myself as the writer and the Bears.

Monsters Of The Blogway: As in "Monsters of the Midway", which the Bears are frequently referred to, and it's a similar way of going about the name as we did with "The Friendly Blogfines".

Payton's Place: As in the late, great Bears running back, Walter Payton.

Resurrect Luckman: As in former Bears quarterback Sid Luckman... who played before most all of us were born. He was good, and pretty much every Bears quarterback since him has been crap.

Robbie Gould, Jerry!: Using Robbie Gould and Kenny Banja's frequent "That's gold, Jerry" comment to Jerry Seinfeld in Seinfeld. This was my suggestion.


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And about what you should get for just planking in general:


End the planking; start the leisure diving.

Thigh Five: BroBible

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Watch A Big Dog Play With A Tiny Puppy FTW

Posted by Matt Clapp | 7/26/2011 05:47:00 PM | , , , ,

Just another example of why dogs kick ass:


Outstanding stuff, including "Poprocks and Coke" by Green Day as the song. One of my favorites.

Thigh Five: Buzzfeed

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A Friendly Reminder...

Posted by Matt Clapp | 7/26/2011 12:40:00 PM

That you can follow us on Facebook and Twitter:

Sharapova's Thigh on Facebook

Sharapova's Thigh on Twitter


And that I run this site:

The Friendly Blogfines


And that I write for these two sites

Awful Announcing

theScore.Com's Buzz


So you should follow/bookmark those... please?

Welp, see ya later.

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I could've sworn we'd featured this babe Melanie Iglesias on here before, but apparently not. I'm thinking she deserves some Thigh of the Week honors in the very near future. And after you see this video, I think you'll agree:


If you're wondering how that super sexy video was done, here's some information on it from the YouTube description:

The Melanie Iglesias Flip Book is a stop motion video made up of approximately 2,000 photos featuring Melanie Iglesias changing into different outfits. Photographed by Michael Creagh in just one take. No photos have been retouched
Very cool. And by the way, you can follow the lovely Miss Iglesias on Twitter.

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Via Sara Jean Underwood's Twitter:

Love it. And you can see much more of Sara Jean Underwood here on the Thigh.

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Spencer Hawes, a center for the Philadelphia 76ers, is a Seattle native. And he reminded everybody how much he cares about the city at a charity basketball game there on Saturday, by showing off a design of the Seattle Space Needle that was shaved into his head:


Yikes. And while the KeyArena crowd may have thought his haircut was a little ridiculous(even if it was supporting their city), they certainly approved of his postgame comments to them:
"I just want to leave y'all with one last thing," Hawes shouted. "Come home, Sonics! Come home, Sonics!"

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This happened yesterday at Comic-Con:


UHH AHHAHH!

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Arianny Celeste & A Banana Dick Thigh Five The 7/25/11 Links

Posted by Matt Clapp | 7/25/2011 03:01:00 PM

Picture H/T: Terez Owens

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While the Shaq may have retired, we have a new Shaq in the basketball world to enjoy. His full name is Shaquille Johnson, and he's a senior high school player out of Milton High School in Georgia.

Overall as a player, Shaq's game has plenty of room for improvement, and he's committed to Auburn, which isn't exactly a top collegiate basketball program. But there's one thing that separates him from the rest of high school ballers: He's an absolutely INCREDIBLE dunker.

Here's a few videos to prove that:




Let's hope he's in the NCAA Slam Dunk Contest for all four of his college years.

You can see another video of Shaq dunking, as well as read more about him, at Prep Rally.

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This Dog Is Crushing His Doorman Duties Out Of The Park

Posted by Matt Clapp | 7/24/2011 10:30:00 PM | ,

Door's got no chance to stop this dog from doing his job... like a boss:


Thigh Five: Reddit

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So apparently this "Angry Grandpa" guy is one of those YouTube sensations? I'd never seen one of his videos until this one of him critiquing Rebecca Black's "My Moment", but I can see why he is.

This is gold, Jerry. It's also very NSFW(language)


Oh man... Can't stop laughing.

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On July 12th, I posted about The Miami New Times releasing Jose Canseco's cell phone number to the public. Why did they do that? Well, Canseco released the number of his ex-girlfriend, Leila, on Twitter, in addition to talking a lot of shit about her on there. So The Miami New Times contacted Leila about the situation:

We spoke with his ex. She said she's been getting so many calls and texts offering to trade her drugs for sex that Verizon called her to ask why there was a sudden spike in activity.
Then they contacted Canseco about this, and he was a complete ass to them, to the surprise of nobody. So, they finally decided to release his number, just like he did with Leila's.

And guess what? He's flipping out about her again on Twitter:


Jose Canseco being a classy, charming gentleman as always.

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On Tuesday, we posted an all-access look at day one of the Los Angeles Kings Ice Crew Girl auditions. Well, here's day two of many beautiful ladies trying to get an Ice Crew job. Enjoy:



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For whatever reason, this video is currrently on the front page of Reddit Videos, even though it took place in 2008:


I certainly remember those throws. In fact, I was even watching that game, which is no surprise since I of course live in Denver. Those were two of the best throws I've ever seen from an outfielder, especially the last one. And they took place in the same damn game!

Of course, as good as the throw from the left-center field warning track to third base was, I still don't think it's the best throw I've seen an outfielder make at Coors Field even. That honor would belong to Jose Guillen:


That's a hose and a half.

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So this dude Jack Vale does this prank where he carries around a thing that makes fart noises and uses it around people. Well, Vale recently did it at Target, right by an old couple. And the old guy did not like it:


That old couple screams "Wal-Mart", not "Target".

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These Are Pictures Of Stevie Johnson's Ass Cake

Posted by Matt Clapp | 7/20/2011 09:44:00 PM | , , , ,

For the 25th birthday of Buffalo Bills wide receiver Stevie Johnson(the guy who blamed God for a dropped pass in the end zone against the Steelers in Overtime), he received this cake:


As Flopping Out, said, "Maybe the cake is a life size replica of his wife’s booty."

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How To Get Men To Watch The News

Posted by Matt Clapp | 7/20/2011 06:22:00 PM | , , ,

The language wasn't going to make a difference for me here:


Thigh Five: Reddit

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I couldn't feel less sorry for this guy:


There's hotties all over the place, beer to be drank, burgers and dogs to be eaten, and this doucher's trying to do backflips off of rocks into the sand? Totally got what he deserved.

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Because they apparently play real-life 'Frogger' there:




Maybe he'll find vacation time for it during his "Summer of George".

Thigh Five: Bob's Blitz

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Watch Milwaukee Bucks point guard Brandon Jennings toss a pass off the glass to himself, and then throw down a dunk:


That would definitely beat me in a game of H-O-R-S-E.

Thigh Five: Los That Sports Blog

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Jimmer.


What percentage do you think Jimmer shoots on 30+ footers(Jimmer range) when just shooting around at the gym? I'm going to say 60%.

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If we were talking about anybody other than Skip Bayless, it would surely be in their top five even. But he makes asinine comment after asinine comment, so this is pretty tough. However, I do believe this would crack his top 100.

Alex Morgan and Hope Solo are two of the hottest female athletes in the world, and they also happen two be two of the best female athletes in America. Look at how popular Anna Kournikova and Danica Patrick are, and what have they ever won? Sex sells. And Morgan and Solo are actually damn good at their sport on top of that. Oh, and on a team that just left our country incredibly proud of their efforts.

No doubt in my mind those ladies are going to have a lot of people and great marketing opportunities surrounding them for a while.

Also, way to be a gentleman, Skip. And to two lovely ladies? Douchetastic as always.

Poll Time... Get Your Vote On:





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Good ole Freudian slips. Ricky Bottalico was of course trying to talk about a bulging disc in the back of Philadelphia Phillies starting pitcher Roy Oswalt.

As for the injury(if you care), Oswalt threw off the mound today, and could return to the Phillies' rotation in the next few weeks.

Thigh Five: The Big Lead; Crossing Broad

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Well that's the least surprising video I've seen today. Of course MJ can dunk at 48. I fully expect him to be dunking at least another 10 years from now. Those are magical legs.

P.S. No doubt in my mind he could still drop 15+ a night in the NBA.

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You Sure You're Okay On That Skateboard, Bro?

Posted by Matt Clapp | 7/19/2011 02:59:00 AM | ,

Sure looks like you're struggling a bit:


I could watch the last 15 seconds of that for the rest of my life.

H/T: Reddit

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HOLY CRAP: This Vegas Street Fight

Posted by Matt Clapp | 7/19/2011 02:22:00 AM | , , , ,

I almost resisted in posting this video, because it's really quite disgusting and one of the most brutal street fights I've ever seen. Just a bunch of drunken asshats beating the shit out of each other on the Las Vegas streets. It's absolute chaos, and a few of these people(particularly the last guy that gets kicked in the head), had to be in serious, SERIOUS pain following this, and may have even been hospitalized(again... particularly the last guy that gets kicked in the head).

But, I decided I'd just post it and warn you beforehand that it's pretty bad. Here's the NSFW(for the brutality and language) video:


Unbelievable.

H/T: Break

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Back in February, we showed you videos featuring a few of the lovely Los Angeles Kings Ice Crew Girls. Well, the Kings are trying to form their 2011 Ice Crew now, and we're happy to bring you an all-access look at their first day of auditions:



I'll be glad to take care of the ladies that don't make the cut.

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Lucy Pinder Thigh Fives The 7/18/11 Links

Posted by Matt Clapp | 7/18/2011 03:10:00 PM | ,

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Last night's Red Sox-Rays game in Tampa Bay was one of the craziest games I've seen in a long time:

The game went 16 innings.

There were just eight total hits.

There was just one run.

The Rays were down to their third "manager" for much of extra innings after Joe Maddon(the real manager) and Dave Martinez(bench coach) were ejected.

Crazy leaping catch after crazy leaping catch at the wall.

There were two in-game delays: One was caused by a popup shattering a stadium light in the dome, which sent pieces of glass onto the field. The other was caused by a streaker.

On and on.

And with a game like, at five hours, 44 minutes(the longest game in Rays history), it's probably more exhausting and frustrating for the home plate umpire than anybody else on the field. He has to squat behind the dish constantly, and only gets a minute or two to rest in between innings.

And this won't make the home plate umpire feel any better during a marathon like that:


Little did he know that he'd have to be out there for another full nine innings.

H/T: The Big Lead; @jose3030

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This Gollum impression is CRAZY accurate:


Maybe it's just a talent(and if so, I'm quite impressed), but my guess is this bro's seen each of the Lord of the Rings movies at least 30 times. And even if so, that's quite the impression.

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With me getting 'NCAA 12' on PS3, and running theScore Buzz as I do on weekends, we've had nothing going on here over the last few days. Well, let's get this shit back together. Here's a video of Kate Upton doing her thing(and in slo-mo) to get the Thigh mojo back:


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Burberry Body? Apparently it's a female fragrance, and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is posing in ads for them now. And they have my full appreciation if they can continue to show off pictures of Rosie like this:

Lose the coat! Lose the coat! Just a little wind gust even.

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The raccoon was just trying to dominate some Chef Boyardee. Hey, I'm there all the time. Shit, just today I ate some ravioli. And every time I go to the store, I make sure to stock up on two food items: Chef Boyardee and Totino's Pizza/Pizza Rolls. So I can't make fun of this raccoon too much, because he just wanted to eat the hell out of some deliciousness.

And props to the dude for having the cojones to pull the can off the raccoon's head. Raccoons can be angry little fuckers that are full of crazy ass diseases. No way I would've gotten near that thing.

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Love it. When Grohl's not absolutely crushing the hell out of music at concerts(and if you haven't seen Foo Fighters in concert, do so as soon as possible), he's telling douchebag assholes to get the fuck out of his show. Best rock star in the world and a badass and a half.

Thigh Five: Reddit

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Jose Canseco must just love us. Earlied we showed you his phone number, and now that picture.

But yeah... this picture. Somehow I'd never seen it before. I have no clue what is going on in it, where it's at, what year it's from, etc, etc. I just know that I saw it on the Twitter feed of our friend, Jerod Morris, who runs the terrific blog Midwest Sports Fans.

But I think that I like that I know nothing about it. It's caption gold, Jerry! And yes, feel free to caption away.

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818-903-6598

That is Jose Canseco's cell phone number according to the Miami New Times. The reason they posted it?
He tweeted Leila Shennib's phone number because he wanted people to call and ask her about her actions, and now it's his turn to answer for his.
On Friday night, Canseco tweeted all of this crap about Shennib, his ex-girlfriend:


The Miami New Times then contacted Shennib about it:
We spoke with his ex. She said she's been getting so many calls and texts offering to trade her drugs for sex that Verizon called her to ask why there was a sudden spike in activity.
So, they called Canseco, and told him that they were planning to publish his number for everybody to see, as he did for Shennib. He of course wasn't happy about it, even calling them a "young little boy" and "piece of shit". Just Canseco being his mature self as always. And that of course didn't help his chances to prevent the Miami New Times from publishing it.

Anyway, I encourage you all to call away, although I'd imagine he'll have the number disconnected very soon if it isn't already. Then again, he might not be smart enough to do that.

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Mila Kunis Does GQ FTW!

Posted by Matt Clapp | 7/12/2011 08:14:00 PM | , , , , , ,

As you can see above, Mila Kunis is on the cover of the August 2011 issue of GQ. And not just is she on the cover, but there's other pictures of her featured in the magazine as well.

Check 'em out:

I could not be more jealous of that duck.

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Beginning of the Home Run Derby, I was completely sober. By the time the Final Round happened(which may have been 15 hours later for all I know with the ridiculously slow pace of the event), I was absolutely hammered(and I fully blame that on Chris Berman because he was annoying the living shit out of me). I'm not kidding when I say that the Final Round is a complete blur to me.

And I had no idea about this diving catch in the pool until I just saw it here on the interwebs, but that shit is so full of swag. Catching a home run ball, while diving into a pool full of hotties, AND holding on to your beer? Win.

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This guy in the helicopter knows exactly what he's doing, and putting out a fire is not that.

He's just smoothly trying to get television reporter Suzi Theodory soaking wet. Get a better look at this hottie:


Boom, Thigh of the Week material.

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The lovely Kate Upton took part in the MLB All-Star Celebrity Softball Game(which will be on ESPN tonight after the Home Run Derby) last night at Chase Field. And she wore some short shorts to show off her sensational, 19-year-old thigh:

You can see many more pictures of Kate Upton playing softball at Sports Illustrated.

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10. Christian Laettner's Shot Over Kentucky In 1992 East Regional Final Of NCAA Tournament.

9. Bobby Thomson's "Shot Heard 'Round The World" To Win The Giants The 1951 National League Pennant.

8. Kirk Gibson's Pinch-Hit Walk-off Homer Off Hall Of Famer Dennis Eckersley In Game One Of The 1988 World Series For The Dodgers... While Having Injuries To Both Knees And A Stomach Virus.

7. Franco Harris's "Immaculate Reception" To Beat The Raiders In The 1972 NFL Playoffs.

6. Groundball Goes Through Bill Buckner's Legs For Mets' Winning Run In 1986 World Series.

5. USA's Comeback Win Over Brazil In This Year's Women's World Cup Quarterfinals.

4. Joe Carter's Walk-off Homer To Win 1993 World Series For Blue Jays.

3. Bill Mazeroski's Walk-Off Home To Win 1960 World Series For Pirates.

2. North Carolina State Dunk Turns Airball Into Alley-oop Dunk To Win 1983 NCAA Tournament

1. "Do You Believe In Miracles? Yes!: USA Beats Russia In 1980 Olympic Hockey.


Oh how quickly we forget. Talk about getting caught up in the moment.

Look, I thought yesterday's win for our women over Brazil was incredible. Simply incredible. Bad calls by the referees screwed us left and right, we were down a player for 55 minutes, scored a great goal to tie it in the 122nd minute, had a sensational goalkeeper performance from Hope Solo, etc, etc.

But the #5 dramatic moment in sports? Come on. Will I remember this soccer victory in 10+ years? Maybe.

Will I remember the other nine moments listed? Um, yes. Those are the images we will fully have engraved in our minds for the rest of our lives as sports fans.

We can even remember the announcers' calls for most all of them. Hell, just last week at the bar, I was quoting Vin Scully's call of Kirk Gibson's homer to my friends. And that's not even the call being played on these highlights! That alone shows how significant the moment was; we can remember multiple calls of it.

And ahead of the groundball through Buckner's legs? Really? Sigh. I'm going to stop before I anger too many ladies out there.

Anyway, what do you think? Get your vote on:






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Saturday on theScore, I posted a video displaying Kenny Powers(the Eastbound & Down character), as the K-Swiss CEO.

Well, on the YouTube description of that video, K-Swiss said their "full campaign" would be launching on Monday, which is of course today. And today, they indeed released a much more awesome video with Kenny Powers as their CEO... their MFCEO(you can guess what the M and F stand for) to be exact.

This is Kenny Powers as you know him(so there's plenty of f-bombs), and this has to be the best viral video ad campaign ever:


Absolutely outstanding. I'll be watching that video on the reg, and I hope K-Swiss has some more of these on the way.

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The Angels' Mike Trout is the #1 or #2(depending on who you ask) prospect in all of baseball, and was called up to the big leagues yesterday. One of the many reasons the 19-year-old outfielder is so highly regarded is because of his speed. In 250 career minor league games, he had 97 stolen bases.

And he put his speed on display on his first major league hit. Trout was just trying to sacrifice bunt, and his blazing speed allowed him to beat it out for a hit.

Here's the video:


This kid sure looks like he's going to be fun to watch.

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They're valued at 75 cents and taste like fruit:


Yes, those are Ring Pops, and they were sent to the Mavericks by Bazooka:
"Bazooka Candy Brands, the iconic confectionary company and manufacturer of Ring Pops, believes that the Dallas Mavericks should be rewarded for all their hard work and their NBA Finals win," the company said in a statement.

"That is why they will be stepping in and saving the day, creating Swarovski-encrusted Ring Pops in the team colors of Blue and White for the team to wear to celebrate their feat.
The Ring Pops will be shipped to the team shortly."
As for the Mavericks' real rings, I'm sure Mark Cuban will make sure they get ones that are worth just a tad more than 75 cents.

Thigh Five: Ball Don't Lie

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I'm guessing the honeymoon only included the quarterback and the center, and likely in that same position frequently.

Thigh Five: Goal-Line Stand

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"Clapp, you're a pussy", blah blah blah. Look, I really don't care what you think. All I know is there's no way in hell I'm getting on that thing.

I hate roller coasters and the free-falling rides. Just hate them. I'll ride shit like Big Thunder Mountain Railroad and those ones that just basically go around as long as they're not moving at light speed, but anything more than that and I am miserable the whole ride. No chance I'll ever go on any of the upside down ones and all that junk. And if I do, everybody else on the ride is going to get puked on, so it won't be enjoyable for them either.

And riding this new "Takabisha" one in Japan that is the world's steepest roller coaster, featuring a 141-foot drop at 62 mph? Fuck that noise.

Thigh Five: The Daily What

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