September 2011 | Sharapova's Thigh

High winds are causing waves to hop onto Chicago's lakefront path.

These people did not get that memo:



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Picks Of My Own...

Week 3's Best

QB:
1. Tom Brady- After throwing four interceptions in week three(after throwing four in ALL of 2010), Brady's surely mad and ready to go off.
2. Aaron Rodgers- Eight touchdowns and one interception so far. And now he gets the Broncos at home. Look for a 300-yard, 3-touchdown performance.
3. Drew Brees- 3 touchdowns thrown in every game so far, and a whopping 1,059 passing yards overall.
4. Philip Rivers- Terrible game last week against the Chiefs after I expected him to be the best fantasy quarterback on the week. He'll bounce back with a good performance against the Dolphins.
5. Matthew Stafford- At least 22 fantasy points in each game so far.

RB:
1. Adrian Peterson- Peterson against the Chiefs is probably as good of a fantasy matchup on the surface as we'll see all year.
2. Darren McFadden- Just dominating.
3. Matt Forte- After saying they'd run the ball much more in week three, Mike Martz of course stuck to calling pass plays like crazy. However, in the nine carries Forte got, he only had two yards. And that wasn't his fault, as the run-blocking was TERRIBLE. Still, I like him this week, and think(maybe foolishly) that Martz actually does get Forte 20-ish carries against the Panthers. It would probably be a good idea after Forte ran for 166 yards and two touchdowns against the Panthers last year.
4. Ray Rice- Only 24 carries over the last two weeks, and he didn't find the end zone. Look for 18+ carries this week, and a touchdown or two.
5. LeSean McCoy- 19+ fantasy points in each game. Expect more of the same against the 49ers at home.

WR:
1. Calvin Johnson- Six touchdowns already!
2. Larry Fitzgerald- Great matchup against a bad(thanks to injuries mainly) Giants secondary.
3. Andre Johnson- Seven catches in each game.
4. Mike Wallace-Over 100 receiving yards in each game.
5. Wes Welker- Holy blow-up against the Bills, Batman! 16 catches for 217 yards and two touchdowns. That's 50 points in PPR leagues. And like I said earlier, I think Brady really brings it this week, which would be great news for fantasy owners of his main target, Welker.

TE:
1. Rob Gronkowski-A touchdown machine, and again, I expect great things out of Brady.
2. Jermichael Finley- That's(week three) more like the Jermichael Finley I've been expecting to see, and then some. Three touchdowns. And now a great matchup against the Broncos.
3. Jason Witten- A PPR stud. Now, he needs to find the end zone. I predict that happens this week.
4. Jimmy Graham-You have to like his chances to put up over a dozen fantasy points against a Jaguars defense that's allowed 21 catches to tight ends.
5. Vernon Davis- Like Witten, he's racking up the catches but no touchdowns. He'll break through soon.

D/ST:
1. Green Bay Packers- You'd have to think they're a lock to have a great day against the Broncos at home.
2. New Orleans Saints- Defensive coordinator Gregg Williams will bring blitzes from all over against rookie quarterback Blaine Gabbert.
3. Baltimore Ravens- The Ravens' defense against Mark Sanchez? Sign me up.
4. Philadelphia Eagles- They were terrible last week against the Giants. Expect them to pick it up this week against the 49ers.
5. Chicago Bears- This is going to be a really tough test for Cam Newton. I think the Bears pick him off a couple of times, and they're due for a defensive or special teams touchdown.

Sleepers

QB:

Kyle Orton- Only because I think the Broncos will be playing from behind for most of the game and will be forced to throw a lot. He has a great shot for 300 yards passing.

Rex Grossman- Tough week three performance for Rex, but the Rams have been getting torched through the air, so I think he plays better this week.

RB:

James Starks- Ryan Grant may not play this week. And Starks will be motivated to have a good performance after stinking it up in week three. If he doesn't, Grant's going to start getting the bulk of the carries.

Marshawn Lynch- The Seahawks can't get in a shootout against the Falcons. They need to run the ball, use the clock, and keep the game low scoring. So, I think that means good things for Lynch. Additionally, the Falcons are allowing 20 fantasy points per week to opposing teams' running backs.

WR:

Julio Jones- The Seahawks have a bad secondary and will have difficulty stopping all of the weapons on the Falcons' offense. This is a great chance for Jones to grab his first career touchdown.

Nate Washington- With Kenny Britt out for the season, Washington becomes the #1 target in Tennessee. Grab him off the waiver wire now.

TE:

Jared Cook- This is a sleeper for deep leagues, but with Britt out for the season, I think Cook could become a solid part of the Titans' passing attack, especially in the red zone.

Randy McMichael- Antonio Gates sounds questionable to play, and the Dolphins have been the worst fantasy defense in the NFL against tight ends.

D/ST:

Tampa Bay Buccaneers- Will get Curtis Painter or Kerry Collins at home.

Washington Redskins-Face a struggling Rams offense.

Shit

QB:

Cam Newton- Don't see him having a big day at Soldier Field.

Joe Flacco- Look for the Ravens to attack the Jets on the ground.

RB:

Ben Tate- Arian Foster sounds good to go(we'll see about that). And whatever the case, facing the Steelers' run defense is not a good matchup for Tate.

Shonn Greene-Not expecting more than 40 rushing yards or so against the Ravens.

WR:

Anquan Boldin-Will surely be covered by Revis plenty, and like I said when talking about Flacco, I don't expect the Ravens to pass very much in this game.

Reggie Wayne-It's hard to do much as a wide receiver with god awful quarterback play.

TE:

Owen Daniels-Against the Steelers, I'm expecting a down week from him. I'd still have him in the top dozen or so for this week though.

Fred Davis- As bad as the Rams have been so far, their defense has actually been the best in fantasy against tight ends.

D/ST:

Dallas Cowboys- Facing a red-hot Lions offense.

Pittsburgh Steelers-Facing a red-hot Texans offense, that should have Arian Foster back.


I'll update the post with injury concerns once with the injury reports are released today, and I may add some other random links. Feel free to email me any links to sharapovasthigh@gmail.com.

If you have any fantasy questions, either ask them in the comments or hit me up on Twitter(@SharapovasThigh).

UPDATE(9/30/11, 6:40 PM ET): I added "Injury Concerns" to the post.

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Must be nice, Andy Roddick. Must be nice.

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Adidas just released a commercial for Derrick Rose's new shoes, the adiZero Rose 2.

Check this awesomeness out:



Badass, and it was actually filmed in Madrid.

Says Adidas, "The adiZero Rose 2 will launch in home and away colorways on October 6 and roll out in five additional colors through December 22. The shoe will be exclusively sold at Foot Locker and Eastbay for MSRP $110."

And says Rose, "“The adiZero Rose 2 is built for my speed so you better want to be fast if you wear this shoe. It’s stable and light so it plays great on the court, but it’s also really clean so you can rock it and look real nice off the court. I felt like a gladiator when I laced them up to film ‘The Bull,’ and I hope everybody likes how we show my new shoes to the world.”

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Bottom of the ninth. Two outs. Two strikes. Down one run. Need to win to at least force a playoff tiebreaker game. Pinch-hitter Dan Johnson at the plate for the Rays.

Boom bitch:





Still tied at 7-7 in the 11th as a write this(and was 7-0 Yankees going into the bottom of the eighth). Win or loss, that's a home run that will be remembered for a long time. Awesome stuff.

UPDATE: Evan Longoria won the game for Rays with a walk-off homer in the bottom of the 12th. Holy Shit, what a night.

P.S. MLB will surely take that video off of YouTube at some point, so post a comment or e-mail me(sharapovasthigh@gmail.com) if it's down.

Thigh Five: Awful Announcing

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Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler and reality TV star Kristin Cavallari called off their engagement in July, but the talk is that they're trying to work things out again.

Cutler apparently dumped Cavallari the first time around, and maybe these new pictures of Cavallari in lingerie may have him thinking that he made a mistake:


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Week 4 NFL Power Rankings

Posted by Matt Clapp | 9/28/2011 06:19:00 PM | , , ,


1. Green Bay Packers(3-0; #1 last week)- Very impressive win at the Bears, and they finally got Jermichael Finley going(3 touchdowns). I think this team has plenty of room for improvement as well.

2. New Orleans Saints(2-1; #4 last week) - Their only loss came at the Packers on opening Thursday night, and they were a yard(and a 2-point try) away from being tied in regulation. Their offense has looked sensational, and that's without Marques Colston for the last 2 weeks(who is expected to return this week).

3. New England Patriots(2-1; #2 last week)- Tough loss at Buffalo, but I'm not going to put much into it. Tom Brady threw 4 interceptions in the game, and threw 4 interceptions all of last year. He, and the Patriots, will be fine.

4. Detroit Lions(3-0; #10 last week)- Great comeback win at Minnesota. They're for real.

5. Baltimore Ravens(2-1; #7 last week)- Well hello there, Torrey Smith. Looking like a very nice weapon for the Ravens' offense.

6. Buffalo Bills(3-0; #15 last week)- I was very skeptical about this team, but beating the Patriots, and picking off Brady 4 times is quite the statement.

7. New York Jets(2-1; #3 last week)- They lost to a good team on the road. It happens. But, now they play at the Ravens, followed by at the Patriots.

8. Houston Texans(2-1; #5 last week)-Just like I said about the Jets in that they lost to a good team on the road. Next 4 games are going to be tough though: vs. Pittsburgh, vs. Oakland, at Baltimore, and at Tennessee.

9. Pittsburgh Steelers(2-1; #11 last week)- The Colts stink, but that was not an easy environment to play in. Their offensive line looks like it's going to be an issue all year though.

10. Dallas Cowboys(2-1; #13 last week)- Terrific game by Tony Romo, and a big win against a divisional opponent that was 2-0.

11. San Diego Chargers(2-1; #9 last week)- I have to move them down a couple of spots for almost losing to the Chiefs at home.

12. Oakland Raiders(2-1; #18 last week)- Big fan of this team, and think they can definitely win the AFC West. They can run the ball effectively against any team in the NFL.

13. New York Giants(2-1; #17 last week)- After a disastrous preseason because of injuries, and their loss to the Redskins in week 1, they have to be quite happy to be 2-1 right now. Great win at Philly.

14. Tampa Bay Buccaneers(2-1; #14 last week)- They're 2-1, and that was a nice win over the division rival Falcons, but they haven't really impressed me yet. I think Josh Freeman is going to start playing much better though.

15. Washington Redskins(2-1; #16 last week)- They didn't beat Dallas, but I came away very impressed. If Rex can avoid very many "Bad Rex" games, this team will hang in the NFC playoff race.

16. Atlanta Falcons(1-2; #8 last week)- This team looks very blah so far. I expected much, much more out of them.

17. Chicago Bears(1-2; #12 last week)- Well their pass blocking was actually good. Unfortunately, their run blocking was the worst I've ever seen it. Martz hates to call run plays as it is, and the run blocking isn't going to help the chances of that changing.

18. Philadelphia Eagles(1-2; #6 last week)- That "Dream Team" talk sure is fading. At least Michael Vick's hand is not broken as initially reported.

19. Tennessee Titans(2-1; #20 last week)- 2-1, but man are they going to miss Kenny Britt.

20. San Francisco 49ers(2-1; #22 last week)- Meh. I need to see more. Still, not much is needed to win the NFC West.

21. Carolina Panthers(1-2; #25 last week)- They really need to get the run game going. It's unlikely that happens in week 4 at Chicago.

22. Cleveland Browns(2-1; #29 last week)- Both of their wins came against winless teams. I'm far from sold.

23. Arizona Cardinals(1-2; #19 last week)- Not a good game from Kevin Kolb at Seattle.

24. Jacksonville Jaguars(1-2; #21 last week)- If you're going to play Blaine Gabbert, at least let him throw the damn ball.

25. Denver Broncos(1-2; #24 last week)- That would've been a big win for them at Tennessee, but lots of things need to be cleaned up with this team. They need a healthy Elvis Dumervil too.

26. Cincinnati Bengals(1-2; #27 last week)- They're starting to look like the team I thought we'd see coming into the season. That's definitely not a good thing.

27. Seattle Seahawks(1-2; #31 last week)- Well, they won a game. But the offense still stinks, and that's not going to change much.

28. St. Louis Rams(0-3; #23 last week)- What a disappointment. I had them winning the NFC West and to be the surprise team in the NFC. Well, they're surprising, in regards to just how terrible they look so far.

29. Minnesota Vikings(0-3; #26 last week) They could be up 40 points in the first half and their fans are going to still expect a loss. They can't close games out.

30. Miami Dolphins(0-3; #28 last week)- As I said last week: It's hard to find much to be excited about with this team. Tony Sparano needs a win soon, or else his ass is grass.

31. Indianapolis Colts(0-3; last week #30)- Might as well just start Curtis Painter at this point. There's no reason to start Kerry Collins on a 3-win team. Maybe you have something in Painter for the future, maybe you don't. But you might as well find out.

32. Kansas City Chiefs(0-3; #32 last week)- They may have just had their best chance at a road victory that they will get all year.

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Let this serve as a reminder to avoid funhouses at all costs after you've been drinking heavily:



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"Hey hey hey hey! What is going on here?"

So I can't sleep because I'm pretty much an insomniac, and I was just about to get my Saved by the Bell game on. Basically whenever it gets near this hour I just decide to get at least one Saved by the Bell episode in, instead of trying to sleep. Call me crazy, but that's how awesome Saved by the Bell is, and when you get a chance to be reminded of the good ole days, you take that chance and run with it.

Well I go to TBS... and it's no longer listed there, but instead there's two straight hours of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And just out of curiosity, I go through the next 24 hours of the television listings... and still, no Saved by the Bell.

What? Huh? Are you fucking with me Turner?

If it's a ratings thing, I would've run around this country and posted flyers like there's no tomorrow, because lord knows I support this show like Rosie O'Donnell supports the Golden Corral. So don't give me that shit.

And don't get me wrong, Fresh Prince is a great show, but two straight hours of it over just a little dose of Saved by the Bell? And two straight hours of Married with Children before that time slot? Really?

Seriously, there's no way that people would rather see these other shows, right? At least not two hours of each instead of no Saved by the Bell, right?

The Twitter world seems to agree with me.

#savethebell

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Just absolutely crushing it as always. She doesn't even need to put a smile on to get you drooling like a school boy. The eye and the thigh do the talking.

And you can always see what Maria's up to on her Facebook page. I suggest, shit, I DEMAND that you give it a "like".

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ESPN's Erin Andrews was on ABC's Jimmy Kimmel Live last night. And she certainly brought her thigh A-game for the occasion.

Here's video proof:




Very impressive. This is how you do it, ladies.

Thigh Five: Jimmy Traina

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I'm not noticing any shoes in these pictures from XTI, but I suppose I could be distracted:



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Outstanding.

Thigh Five: Reddit

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Boston Red Sox pitcher John Lackey is in the second year of a five-year contract that totals $82.5 million. And he has a 6.41 ERA in 160 innings pitched.

If you follow baseball much at all, you know that a 6.41 ERA is beyond pathetic, even for, say, a lowly regarded rookie pitcher. And Lackey's being paid to be an ace, or at least close to it.

Well, just when you thought that he couldn't be any more of a disappointment, this story comes out via TMZ:

Boston Red Sox pitcher John Lackey has filed to divorce his wife, Krista ... who is in the middle of battling breast cancer.

Lackey filed on August 30, according to court docs in Texas, claiming "the marriage has become insupportable because of discord or conflict of personalities." Krista and John got married in November, 2008.

Sources close to the family tell TMZ ... Krista underwent a double mastectomy back in March and underwent chemo as recently as June.

The divorce petition says John and Krista had a prenup. It also says Lackey has "separate property" he wants to keep for himself.
Just sickening. We have no idea what's been going on with their relationship, but come on. You at least have to stick with her during this incredibly difficult time.

But really, what the hell could he be thinking? Even if deep down he didn't want to be with her anymore, doesn't he have any freaking clue about how bad this is going to make him look? He's already hated enough in Boston. I don't even know how he'll be able to walk out in public there now.

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I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't beyond furious right now. Seriously, you have no idea how much work and money it took me to get that look.

And if Antonio steals my jeans style too, it's on like Donkey Kong:

Thigh Five: SB Nation

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Check out the beginning of this press conference, and then skip to each minute that follows:


The good news for Walter is that he surely got the whole row to himself on the flight home.

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Philip Rivers Vs. The Chiefs? Yeah, That's A Matchup I'll Take.
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Week 3's Best

QB:
1. Philip Rivers- After seeing the Chiefs' defense over the last two weeks(which also doesn't have safety Eric Berry anymore), it's hard for me to pick anybody else here.
2. Tom Brady- 940 passing yards and seven touchdowns in the first two games. Not bad.
3. Drew Brees- I think Houston's secondary is much improved, but they're not good enough to keep Brees from going off.
4. Michael Vick- He should be to go at 100%, and has a great matchup against the Giants.
5. Aaron Rodgers- Rodgers has struggled against the Bears over his career, but the Bears could be without safeties Chris Harris and Major Wright.

RB:
1. Adrian Peterson- With how Donovan McNabb's looked so far, the Vikings are probably going to need AP to go off to beat the Lions.
2. Ray Rice- Off to a terrific start and now gets the Rams who have the league's worst-ranked run defense so far.
3. Chris Johnson- This is the game he finally gets it going.
4. Rashard Mendenhall-Pittsburgh should blow out the Colts. Mendenhall is going to get a lot of carries and goal line chances.
5. Matt Forte- Mike Martz vows to get the running game going this week. That means a heavy dose of Forte.

WR:
1. Andre Johnson-14 catches, 188 yards, two touchdowns so far, and he'll have a huge day again in a shootout vs. the Saints.
2. Calvin Johnson- FOUR touchdowns already.
3. Vincent Jackson-If Rivers is going to blow up, so is his top receiver.
4. Larry Fitzgerald- Great matchup against a crappy secondary.
5. Mike Wallace- Steelers' wide receiver has 16 catches for 233 yards.

TE:
1. Antonio Gates- He's Questionable, so obviously pay attention to his status leading up to game time.
2. Jason Witten- Six+ catches for 100+ yards in each thus far.
3. Rob Gronkowski- A red zone machine, just like last year, and Aaron Hernandez is out.
4. Jermichael Finley- Tough matchup against the Bears, but he may be able to make some big plays downfield against a beaten up safety group.
5. Jimmy Graham- Red zone guy in a shootout.

D/ST:
1. Pittsburgh Steelers- Awesome matchup against the Colts.
2. San Diego Chargers- Awesome matchup against the Chiefs.
3. Green Bay Packers- Dom Capers is going to blitz the hell out of Jay Cutler after what the Saints did to the Bears last week.
4. Dallas Cowboys- I'm feeling a "Bad Rex" game, with DeMarcus Ware playing a big part in making that happen.
5. Baltimore Ravens- Face a Rams offense that looked like shit against the Giants.

Sleepers

QB:
Kevin Kolb- Really like this matchup for him against the Seahawks.

Josh Freeman-Finally will get over 15 fantasy points(standard leagues).

RB:
Daniel Thomas- The rookie had 18 carries last week for 107 yards. I like him to get his first touchdown this week.

Dexter McCluster- With Jamaal Charles out for the season, I think McCluster is going to become a big part of their offense. He's not going to be as good of an in-between-the-tackles runner as Charles, but he offers the same big play ability. He's especially going to be valuable in PPR leagues.

WR:
A.J. Green- Absolutely the real deal. Usually you don't see rookie receivers having big years, but I think we will with him, especially because the Bengals are going to be playing from behind a lot and will need to air it out.

Nate Washington- The Titans' receiver has at least six catches in each game so far.

TE:
Marcedes Lewis- I expect Blaine Gabbert to look for Lewis as a security blanket in his first NFL start.

Evan Moore- Touchdowns in both games. Definitely a name to keep an eye on in deep leagues.

D/ST:
Arizona Cardinals- Any defense is a good start against the Seahawks.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers- Can the Vikings pass the ball? Until they show they can, I'm liking most any defense against them.

Tennessee Titans- Face a Broncos offense at home that looks pretty questionable at best so far, especially on the ground.

Shit

QB:
Rex Grossman- Bad Rex.

Sam Bradford- Terrible matchup against the Ravens.

RB:
James Starks- The Packers' success this week should come through the air.

Shonn Greene- He looks like complete shit.

WR:
Denarius Moore- I'm even starting him in a league and think he could do alright, but don't expect anywhere near the 146 yards receiving that he had last week. Revis and company won't let that happen. He's a must-grab off the waiver wire though. There will be some big games for the rookie.

Brandon Lloyd- The Titans have good defensive backs, and Lloyd's coming off a groin injury. Additionally, Eric Decker emerged as a great target for Orton last week.

TE:
Tony Gonzalez- He's a future Hall of Famer, but don't expect anymore performances like the OUTSTANDING one he had last week.

Fred Davis: Very impressive early start, but Rex should struggle.

D/ST:
Chicago Bears- Not a good matchup against the Packers, even though they've handled the Packers and Rodgers well in recent years. As a Bears fan, I sure hope I'm wrong.

Houston Texans: #1 ranked defense in the NFL, but that won't last through the weekend.

Feel free to email me any more links, at sharapovasthigh@gmail.com. If you have any fantasy questions, either ask them in the comments or hit me up on Twitter(@SharapovasThigh).

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If you haven't seen the two-part series of 'A Football Life', stop whatever the hell you're doing and get on that now.

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Hey Babe, There's A Ceiling Fan There...

Posted by Matt Clapp | 9/22/2011 04:21:00 PM | , ,

Might want to keep that in mind next time:


That was a Justin Upton style crush job by the ceiling fan. Knocked that bitch out of the park.

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Melissa Satta Thigh Fives The 9/22/11 Links

Posted by Matt Clapp | 9/22/2011 06:15:00 AM | ,

Thigh Five From Melissa Satta!
Sports
Thighs
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A couple of months ago, I posted a video on theScore of a Yankees fan getting drilled in the face with a foul ball at Yankee Stadium.

Welp, that happened again tonight:


Hey dude, you're supposed to close your hands to catch the ball BEFORE it reaches your face.

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I've seen many video game glitches in my day, but this one is a first:


Thigh Five: Kotaku

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Watch This Lucky Ass High School Touchdown Pass

Posted by Matt Clapp | 9/21/2011 05:18:00 PM | ,


It worked out for the quarterback, but I have a hard time giving him props for this one. Pathetic job by the secondary. You have to pick that shit.

Thigh Five: The Big Lead

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MASSIVE Game Of Dodgeball!

Posted by Matt Clapp | 9/21/2011 03:39:00 PM | ,

LET ME PLAY, DAMMIT!



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Retail price for LeBron's new shoes? $170(!):

That's about $10 more a pair than the NBA superstar's last signature sneakers from the Swoosh, says Matt Powell, an analyst with SportsOneSource. It's the highest price for any basketball kicks sold at Nike's online store -- with the exception of a pair of Jordan shoes that sell for $175.
Source: USA Today

The shoes will hit U.S. stores on October 25th.

Thigh Five: Diehard Sport

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Watch this high school running back, Chris Donald, somehow stay on his feet after a crazy spin and score a game-winning touchdown in double overtime:

H/T: Reddit

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Week 3 NFL Power Rankings

Posted by Matt Clapp | 9/21/2011 01:18:00 AM | ,

Matt Stafford & the Lions are a legitimate NFC playoff contender.

1. Green Bay Packers(2-0; #1 last week)- The defense looks shaky so far, and terrific safety Nick Collins is out for the year. But, their offense is just ridiculously good.

2. New England Patriots(2-0; #2 last week)- Tom Brady has a nice little QB rating of 128.1 right now.

3. New York Jets(2-0; #8 last week)- Dominating win over the Jaguars, but at the same time, a good defense should give Luke McCown hell as they did. We all know that Mark Sanchez needs to improve, but the running game needs to big time as well. Shonn Greene is averaging 2.9 yards per carry(26 for 75).

4. New Orleans Saints(1-1; #7 last week) - Terrific defensive gameplan from Gregg Williams in their 17-point win over a Bears team that beat the Falcons by 18 in week one. Drew Brees looked great against one of the league's better defenses, even with Marques Colston out.

5. Houston Texans(2-0; #10 last week) The defense ranks first in the NFL, but how good is it really? They've faced the Colts and Dolphins... a lot of teams would have the #1 defense in that scenario. Regardless, it's better than last year, and with their offense, they can go far with just decent defense.

6. Philadelphia Eagles(1-1; #4 last week)- That was a very difficult environment to play in on Monday night. Obviously all of the Vick hoopla, but in a loud dome against a very good team on the road that didn't want to start 0-2. And they still almost pulled it out, even with Vick going down with a concussion.

7. Baltimore Ravens(1-1; #3 last week)- They're tough to figure out after blowing out the Steelers and getting blown out by the Titans. A perfect example of how crazy this league is.

8. Atlanta Falcons(1-1; #9 last week)- Good win that they needed at home, but their offensive line and defense need to improve a lot.

9. San Diego Chargers(1-1; #5 last week)- Eh, no teams go into New England and beat the Patriots(except in the playoffs apparently). You could make a very good argument that I shouldn't have dropped them in the rankings at all.

10. Detroit Lions(2-0; #12 last week)- Yeah, the Chiefs stink, but beating anybody by 45 points in today's NFL is eye-opening. And that was after an impressive win at Tampa Bay. If Matt Stafford stays healthy(a big if), their offense is going to be very good. But their defense is looking very good as well. This team is living up to the hype so far and will be in the NFC playoff chase.

11. Pittsburgh Steelers(1-1; #11 last week)- Now, THAT looked more like the Steelers we're used to... but it came against arguably the worst team in the NFL. Still, it was a great bounceback game after the embarrassing one in Baltimore.

12. Chicago Bears(1-1; #6 last week)- That was painful to watch as a Bears fan. Mike Martz got away from running the ball, and kept calling seven-step drops for Jay Cutler when the Saints brought the blitz constantly. The offensive line was the worst it's been since the Monday night game at the Giants last year when nine sacks were allowed, but Martz's play-calling didn't help the cause.

13. Dallas Cowboys(1-1; #13 last week)- Great bounceback game for Tony Romo, and he showed toughness playing through a broken rib.

14. Tampa Bay Buccaneers(1-1; #14 last week)- Nice comeback win on the road, but they have to get much better if they want to compete in a terrific division.

15. Buffalo Bills(2-0; #15 last week)- Two good wins for a team that's definitely on the rise. I'm still not completely sold on their defense, but it's better than last year's at least. I really like their offense though.

16. Washington Redskins(2-0; #17 last week)- Everybody is talking about how impressive their start's been, but those were two games the Redskins should win at home. Their Monday night game this week at Dallas will be a nice test. Win that and I'll definitely start to take them seriously.

17. New York Giants(1-1; #22 last week)- It's been such a rough last month+ for this team, that just getting a win has to a nice lift.

18. Oakland Raiders(1-1; #16 last week)- That would've been a great win on the road at Buffalo, but it slipped through their hands in the final seconds. Denarius Moore looks like a legitimate weapon on offense though. We know they're going to run with success, but if they can get more out of the passing game, it could be a very good offense.

19. Arizona Cardinals(1-1; #19 last week)- Their pass defense is just terrible.

20. Tennessee Titans(1-1; #25 last week)- Definitely the biggest "wow" win of the week. There's room for improvement too, as Chris Johnson's been a non-factor so far.

21. Jacksonville Jaguars(1-1; #19 last week)- Well the Luke McCown era was fun. I think Blaine Gabbert's going to do at least a decent job this year, and if he can, they can hang in there in a crappy division.

22. San Francisco 49ers(1-1; #20 last week)- Tough loss, but there's some things to like with this team. They need to beat the Bengals in week three.

23. St. Louis Rams(0-2; #21 last week)- 0-2 and now get the Ravens. They were my pick to surprise in the NFC and win the NFC West, but they need to get it together fast.

24. Denver Broncos(1-1; #28 last week)- Yeah it was against the Bengals and at home, but that was a great win for the Broncos. Champ Bailey, Elvis Dumervil, Knowshon Moreno, and Brandon Lloyd were out with injuries, so finding a way to win was impressive. Eric Decker looks like he could be a very good wide receiver.

25. Carolina Panthers(0-2; #23 last week)- There's not a fan base out there that is more impressed with their 0-2 team right now than the Panthers'. They have a lot to be excited about. I thought Cam Newton would struggle mightily against the Packers(and he still threw three interceptions), but he threw for even more yards than in week one. He looks like the real deal.

26. Minnesota Vikings(0-2; #24 last week) That loss is going to really sting. This team is well behind the other three in the NFC North right now.

27. Cincinnati Bengals(1-1; #26 last week)- Cam Newton is getting all of the rookie quarterback talk, but Andy Dalton is really impressing me. A.J. Green looks terrific as well, but we expected that.

28. Miami Dolphins(0-2; #27 last week)- It's hard to find much to be excited about with this team.

29. Cleveland Browns(1-1; last week #31)- Well, they're at least better than the Colts apparently. They need to keep feeding Peyton Hillis the ball.

30. Indianapolis Colts(0-2; last week #30)- Imagine if they finish with the worst record in the league and get to draft Andrew Luck after having Peyton Manning all these years. And what a perfect mentor Luck would have.

31. Seattle Seahawks(0-2; #29 last week)- Offense. Is. Pathetic.

32. Kansas City Chiefs(0-2; #32 last week)- Outscored 92-10 in the first two games, and now lost Jamaal Charles for the year after losing Eric Berry in week one. Yikes.

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Mike Pereira, a former Vice President of Officiating in the NFL, joined Fox last season to break down how plays should be ruled in NFL games, and explain whether a referee got questionable calls right or wrong. He usually is just sitting in some office and random broadcasts will have him on when they feel his opinion would be helpful. I think he's been a great addition.

Well, a fan at yesterday's(technically, although it just ended in the last hour or so) Arizona-Stanford college football game got angry about some non-call from the referees. I have no idea what exactly he was upset about, but he was just yelling as Arizona was lining up for a play. Maybe an illegal formation or something?

Anyway, he claims that Mike Pereira told us that there should be a flag thrown:


Odd thing to angrily yell.

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A Central Florida school district thinks cheerleading uniforms are too revealing for the classroom.

The Lake County School District said it wants all students to follow the dress code, and cheerleader uniforms reveal too much.

The District has set up two main rules: tops cannot be sleeveless and skirts must be at least down to the mid-thigh.

If uniforms don't meet the regulations, the district wants cheerleaders to wear long shorts or pants under their skirts and T-shirts under their tops, unless the principal objects to that as well.

On Friday at Mount Dora High School, cheerleaders wore T-shirts and pants during a pep rally instead of their uniforms.

The Mount Dora junior varsity squad members said that their coach instructed them to leave their uniforms at home on Friday.
Source: News4Jax

As a dude, really all you have to look forward to in high school are cheerleaders. Maybe a P.E. game of dodgeball here and there where you can drill some nerd in the face. But cheerleaders are all you can count on. Just sit there in your class and get your thigh drool-stare on at your school's Kelly Kapowski while the teacher blabbers about god knows what.

And these Lake County School District commies are making the cheerleaders where sleeves and above-mid-thigh skirts at school? Fucking bullshit. This is seriously a bigger Florida fuck-up than the butterfly ballots.


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Michael Vick returns to Atlanta. Expect big things out of him.
Other Fantasy Football Articles From Around The Web...
Links added to the 9/18 update(3 AM ET):
I'm making some changes to my picks in the roundup this year. In the past, I simply gave one player at each position for my week two "best", "sleepers", and "shit" picks. Now, I'm going to give five players for each position in my "best" picks, and I will rank them in order of how well I think they will do. And I'm going to put two players at each postion for my "sleepers" and "shit" picks, but will not rank them.

I've also decided to just get rid of kickers in my picks, as it's so much of a crapshoot that I'm not going to waste my time analyzing them.

Week 2's Best

QB:
1. Michael Vick- I expect a big-time performance in his return to Atlanta.
2. Aaron Rodgers- Coming off of a 312-yard, 3 TD, 0 INT performance, and now gets a crappy Panthers' pass defense.
3. Tom Brady- After throwing for 517 yards, I feel like I should have him ranked even higher. But, he faces a Chargers pass defense that allowed just 29 yards passing to the Vikings in week 1.
4. Philip Rivers- Chad Henne had success against the Patriots' pass defense, so you'd have to think Rivers will too.
5. Matt Stafford- Looked great against the Bucs in Tampa Bay, and now returns home to face a Chiefs defense that Ryan Fitzpatrick and company throttled on the road in week 1.

RB:
1. Adrian Peterson- Their passing game looked just pathetic in week 1. They'll try to fix that up, but let's be honest- This is Adrian Peterson's offense.
2. Ray Rice- 19 carries for 107 yards, and 1 TD against the Steelers, who RARELY allow rushing numbers like that. He also had 4 catches, for 42 yards and a TD.
3. Darren McFadden- Once again, McFadden owned the Broncos. Now he should be able to own a Bills run defense that ranked last in the NFL last year.
4. Rashard Mendenhall- The Steelers should bounce back and crush the Seahawks at home. Mendenhall is going to get a lot of carries, many of which should come in the red zone.
5. Jamaal Charles- Only had 10 carries in week one because the Chiefs fell so far behind so quickly. I think the Chiefs try to establish the run, as they don't want to get in a shootout in Detroit.

WR:
1. Andre Johnson- The Texans are well aware of what the Patriots' passing attack did to the Dolphins. They'll try to do the same thing, so look for arguably the best wide receiver in the world to have a huge game.
2. Calvin Johnson- This is set up to be a huge game for him, at home against the Chiefs.
3. Larry Fitzgerald- I've really liked what I've seen from the Kolb-Fitzgerald connection so far.
4. Mike Wallace- Faces a horrible Seahawks secondary, and you know Big Ben wants to get back on track after that embarrassing performance at Baltimore.
5. DeSean Jackson- If I think Mike Vick is going to blow up, I'm going to have to think his top wide receiver does as well. Also, you have to like DeSean and his speed/agility on turf.

TE:
1. Antonio Gates- 8 receptions for 74 yards in week 1. The veteran is looking as good as ever.
2. Jermichael Finley- Aaron Rodgers spreads the ball around to so many different receivers, but Finley is going to be his main red zone target. And the Packers should be in the red zone plenty at Carolina.
3. Jason Witten- 6 catches for 110 yards in week 1, and this is a better matchup.
4. Vernon Davis- The one reliable target for Alex Smith.
5. Dallas Clark- Is he going to be as productive without Peyton? No. But Kerry Collins is still going to go Clark's way a lot, and they have a great matchup against the Browns.

D/ST:
1. Pittsburgh Steelers- The Steelers' defense may be getting old, but they're MUCH better than the team we saw last week. They'll get their shit together against the Seahawks.
2. Baltimore Ravens- If the Ravens were that good against the Steelers' offense, how good are they going to be against an awesome led by Matt Hasselbeck?
3. New York Jets- At home against Luke McCown.
4. Green Bay Packers- The Packers' defense really wasn't that good against the Saints. They know they need to improve there, and they'll give Cam Newton his first look at what a -real- NFL defense is like.
5. Detroit Lions- The Chiefs scored 7 points at home against the BILLS.

Sleepers

QB:
Jay Cutler- Looked very good in week 1, and this may be a high scoring game in New Orleans. I think his numbers will be very similar to week 1.
Rex Grossman- 305 passing yards, 2 TD against the Giants. Now he faces the Cardinals, who just allowed a rookie to throw for 422 yards.

RB:
Cadillac Williams- Should be starting against the Giants in place of Steven Jackson. After Jackson got hurt in week 1, Cadillac got 24 touches.
Willis McGahee- May be starting if Knowshon Moreno can't go. Regardless, McGahee will get some goal line carries against the Bengals.

WR:
Johnny Knox- Roy Williams is a game-time decision, and if he can't go, Knox will start for him. Even if Williams does play, Knox will get targets and is very dangerous on turf with his tremendous speed. The Bears didn't go deep in week 1, but they likely will a few times in this game, and Knox is their main deep threat.
Jordy Nelson- Every Packers wide receiver could be played in deep leagues against the Panthers.

TE:
Brandon Pettigrew- The Bills put up 41 points on the Chiefs, so you'd think the Lions, at home, will get many red zone chances.
Fred Davis- 5 catches for 105 yards in week 1, and now gets the Cardinals.

D/ST:
Houston Texans- This pass defense is getting better, and I have a hard time predicting 2 straight good weeks out of Chad Henne.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers- Can the Vikings pass the ball? Until they show they can, I'm liking most any defense against them.

Shit

QB:
Cam Newton- He really did look great against the Cardinals, but he also had wide receivers open by 20 yards constantly. That won't happen against the Packers.
Josh Freeman- My weekly hunch pick. And I like Josh Freeman and hate the Vikings... so odd choice, but it's just how I feel.

RB:
Jonathan Stewart- 1. They're going to have to pass to keep up with the Packers. 2. He had just 7 carries for 26 yards in week 1.
Marshawn Lynch- I'm not expecting over 40 rushing yards for Lynch at Pittsburgh.

WR:
Dwayne Bowe- Was just absolutely terrible last week. Pro Football Focus scored him the worst wide receiver of the entire week.
AJ Green- Yeah, he had a touchdown, but it was on his only catch of the game, and against the Browns. Wait a few more weeks before throwing him into your starting lineup.

TE:
Marcedes Lewis- He may not even play this week, but even if he does, I hate the combo of facing the Jets' defense and having Luke McCown as the quarterback.
Zach Miller- As you can surely tell by now, I don't expect much from the Seahawks' offense against the Steelers. Of course, I don't expect much from the Seahawks' offense against anybody.

D/ST:
Atlanta Falcons- They looked bad against the Bears, and again, I think Mike Vick goes off.
San Diego Chargers- Usually a great play, but not against Tom Brady and the Patriots.


Feel free to email me any more links, at sharapovasthigh@gmail.com. If you have any fantasy questions, either ask them in the comments or hit me up on Twitter(@SharapovasThigh).

I'll likely update the post, so make sure to check back before the games start on Sunday.

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