December 2011 | Sharapova's Thigh

@RMBWilliams had a pretty decent view of Kevin Durant's game-winning shot last night against the Mavericks in Oklahoma City:


I am jealous of that seating location.

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That would make an absolutely outstanding GIF.

Thigh Five: Bob's Blitz

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Best Local News Bloopers Of 2011

Posted by Matt Clapp | 12/29/2011 12:12:00 PM | , ,

Another great time-waster for you:



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Time-waster FTW:


Thigh Five: BroBible

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Fox Sports' NFL "rules analyst" and former NFL Vice President of Officiating, Mike Pereira, wrote an article that was published today on FoxSports.Com titled 'Gruden Needs To Get The Rules Straight'.

Here's how the article starts:

C’mon man!

I’m talking to ESPN announcer and former coach Jon Gruden, because I need to set the record straight.

I am not a fan of Gruden’s. Not today, not yesterday, not when I worked for the NFL and not when I was working on the field as a side judge. He was a loudmouth as a coach who constantly disrespected officials and he is a blowhard in the broadcast booth who spouts off when he doesn’t know what he is talking about.

Wowzers; that's some pure hatred right there. And you can read the rest of the article here.

Oh, and I'm very excited to hear Gruden's response to "This Guy" Pereira.

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Cricket Cameraman Eats Shit

Posted by Matt Clapp | 12/29/2011 10:55:00 AM | , , ,

Just got back to Denver last night from my Christmas vacation (visiting the fam in San Diego). And in my first post since returning, I bring you a cameraman faceplanting at a cricket match in Melbourne:



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TNT's NBA Christmas Day Intro Is Absolutely AWESOME

Posted by Matt Clapp | 12/25/2011 11:11:00 AM | , ,

Merry Christmas, and welcome back NBA:


Thigh Five: @jose3030

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White Castle So Fucking Gets It

Posted by Matt Clapp | 12/21/2011 02:00:00 PM | , , , ,


I'm really sick and tired of these fast food chains lying to themselves. Like that bullshit McDonald's spews at us about having fruit available now? Give me a break. If you're going to McDonald's you're going there to pig out on Big Macs and super-sized fries like a motherfucker, not to eat healthy. Realize what you are, keep making that money, and don't listen to all of the health freaks that are trying to force you to change your image.

Well you want to know a fast food chain that accepts what they are and embraces the shit out of it? White Castle. They realize that their company makes their money off of drunks and stoners. That's why they allowed themselves to be the focal point of a stoner movie even (Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle).

And now? They're thinking of making booze available at their restaurants:

White Castle, a 90-year-old hamburger chain known for its square "slider" burgers, is sipping on the idea of offering alcoholic beverages as it tests beer and wine sales at a restaurant in Indiana.

The food famously craved by stoners in the 2004 movie "Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle" can be had with a glass of wine or a domestic or seasonal beer at a Lafayette, Ind., restaurant that fuses a conventional White Castle with a new concept for the company called Blaze Modern BBQ. Wine costs $4.50 and beers start at $3.

"This was something that customers had been suggesting," said Jamie Richardson, a spokesman for Columbus-based White Castle System Inc. "They thought that beer and wine might go nicely with the barbecue that was available at Blaze. We're certain that we might have some customers who might enjoy some sliders and a beer or wine as well."

Boom. Absolutely brilliant. It's only a matter of time before White Castle is the richest company in America.

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Another Festivus miracle! Incredible stuff.

But maybe more incredible, is the video description from the uploader:

I gotta tell you I've seen some cool things in my life, but friday night took the grand prize, Mrs. Brenda Hewlett 59 years old won a chance to be one of 5 people to shoot the puck to win a brand new 2011 Ford F150 4x4, Brenda had been in t...he dealership on friday morning to get some service work done to her old truck, & had said "god I wish I could afford a new truck mine is falling apart" Joe Jock my service manager said "here fill out this ballot & win one" both started laughing. It's a one in a Gazzilion shot from 114 feet away, the opening is almost the exact size of a regulation size hockey puck. Mrs. Hewlett has never even held a hockey stick in her entire life let alone ever shot a puck. The finalists were all on the ice after I drove the new truck onto the ice, I had friends in the back of the truck throwing frisbee's into the crowd. After a lap around the arena, I gathered the contestants at the far blue line, I yelled out ladies first , Mrs. Hewlett said "Oh god I don't wanna be first I'm going to look foolish" She put a helmet on grabbed the stick I walked up next to her & said "Let It Go & Believe" Well the whole arena must have believed & the Christmas angels were upon her. She pulled back the puck in a akward stance Mrs Hewlett is only about 5'3 (the stick was way too big) and she let it fly, I myself & the crowd didn't even think there was enough steam on the puck to even make it to the target, after it passed the second blue line .. I yelled out .. OH ..OH .. the crowd started going absolutley CRAZY .. the puck then decided to get some wheels, feet, legs whatever you wanna call it & went straight into the hole with speed I might add. Needless to say the arena EXPLODED !! People were slamming the glass people in the lobby were charging out the doors & beating on the glass in the concesion area .. all the Warrior hockey players rushed the ice from the locker room .. I have been on crutches for about a week & had one in my arm, when the puck went in I threw my arms up & screamed so loud with such enthusiasm the crutch slipped from my hand & launched about 40 feet in the air, (thank goodness I didn't hurt anyone LOL) I looked over at Brenda with tears in both of our eyes from pure joy jumping & screaming, I looked over at the truck on the ice with my friends Marney Tarbell, Lisa Ellis, Monica Paige & other women associated with the team who helped throw the frisbees & T shirts into the crowd, The truck was just bouncing.. It was complete PANDEMONIUM !!! I am so happy for Mrs. Hewlett & The Akwesane Warriors & my staff for putting this together. Like I've always said Angels are upon us & miracles do happen. It couldn't have happened to a nicer hard working woman than Mrs. Hewlett. I witnessed a Christmas Miracle On Ice last night, a night I will NEVER forget & will be able to tell this wonderful story to so many. To top the night off the Warriors came back from a deficit in the 3rd period & won the game. As Jim McKay said at the 1980 Olympic Hockey game when the U.S. beat the Russian's .. "DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES ?? ... YES !!!!"
Did you get all that?

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Don't ask questions. Just watch:



Happy Hump Day.

Thigh Five: The Big Lead

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Twitter friend of ours, @alwaysapackrfan, was kind enough to inform us that not only did Melanie Iglesias release the flip book video we showed you earlier today, but she released a "bonus" video as well.

Check it out:



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The New York Knicks are raising courtside ticket prices 900 percent at Madison Square Garden for wheelchair locations. Yes, a 900 percent increase in ticket prices for the disabled.

Here's more on it, via The New York Post

A quadriplegic former Brooklyn high-school basketball star is calling a foul on the Knicks for slam-dunking disabled fans with a 900 percent ticket-price hike.
Alanzo George learned from a pal who had been treating him to floor tickets that courtside spots set aside for people in wheelchairs at Madison Square Garden soared from around $300 last year to $2,850 this year.

“I was really shocked,” George, 23, told The Post. “I’m wondering how they did that, especially with people in a wheelchair.”

George, who lives in Canarsie, was a Tilden HS basketball standout entertaining several college scholarship offers in March 2007 when a car carrying him and two pals crashed in Brooklyn. George was paralyzed from the neck down.
Garden spokesman Barry Watkins said the $300 spots were eliminated as part of the arena’s ongoing $850 million renovation. He said the new floor spots for the disabled are closer to the action than the old ones.

The average increase for seats in the Garden this year was about 50 percent, including accommodations for the disabled at 14 other locations in the arena. The price hikes, he said, were due to renovation costs.
As you can see in that excerpt, the "$300 spots" were eliminated due to an $850 million renovation at MSG. Still, the Knicks look like complete assholes in this one, and hopefully find a much more fair way to accommodate the disabled.


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Nice Job Trying To Impress The Ladies, Dickhead

Posted by Matt Clapp | 12/20/2011 01:31:00 PM | , ,



Karma works in funny ways sometimes.

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A very Merry Christmas to you, Miss Iglesias.

Update: Melanie released a BONUS flipbook video, Stocking Stuffers.

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The "Kean on sack" article is not analysis from somebody named Kean about the ruptured testicle of the Blackburn Rovers' Scott Dann, but rather this article about Rovers manager Steve Kean: Link. But, we appreciate the clever thinking of some editor at ESPN's Soccernet.

Thanks to Kevin (or Roddick's Knee as we know him around here) for the tip

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Finally, we have an official trailer of the latest movie in the Batman series, 'The Dark Knight Rises'. This movie is sure to be awesome and make a shit ton of money. Also, as we see in the trailer, Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver Hines Ward is in the film.

Check it out:



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This will get you drunk:


Pat Bertoletti, that was impressive. Very.

Thigh Five: Guyism

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I'm pretty sure if you could put YouTube videos in a "How to pick up chicks" book, this would be on the first page. Suspenders, pants just past the knees, different colored socks with stripes on them, and shuffling like it ain't not thing. Swag to the max and every lady within 100 yards getting wet. This is how you do it.

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Here Are The Best Table Tennis Shots Of 2011

Posted by Matt Clapp | 12/19/2011 10:55:00 AM | ,

I am a table tennis (ping pong) nut. It's beyond pathetic how much time I spent playing it as a freshman in college. Seriously hours at a time instead of partying or chasing the ladies (things that I spent the remainder of my time in college doing).

So I have huge respect for the table tennis pros, and I wish they'd show more of it on TV. This is the type of shit we could be seeing:


Ridiculous.

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That top tweet is a classic.

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The first games of the NBA preseason are tonight, and we're already getting some examples of why it's great to have the league back... finally.

One such example? John Wall. The Washington Wizards' point guard will be entering his second season after being the #1 overall pick in the NBA Draft last year, and he showed in his first season that the Wizards made a mighty fine selection. And it doesn't appear that he'll make them feel any differently this season.

Watch Wall pull out a nasty crossover, and dunk, on the Philadelphia 76ers:


Also, I'm loving the new Wizards' Bullets-esque jersey.

Thigh Five: @jose3030

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YouTube description of the video you're about to see:

Thon Maker is a 14 year old 8th grader who is a legit 7 footer. Thon's skill set is unbelievable for a 7 footer, especially considering that he's still in middle school. Thon is #1 ranked 8th grader on http://www.MiddleSchoolHoops.com/
And the video:


I have to say that Thon looked a lot better than I was expecting in that video. Any seven-foot kid that has all limbs and could walk would dominate at the middle school or high school level. But Thon really has an impressive skill set for a big man. Pretty jump hook, decent ball-handling and mid-range jumper, an array of low-post moves, and runs the floor well.

He's very thin, but he's 14 freaking years old. It's hard for his weight to catch up to his height that quickly. What you worry about is that he'll still get taller, and/or deal with leg injuries as we see so much with seven-footers(see: Bill Walton, Greg Oden, Yao Ming, etc).

But for right now, Thon definitely looks like a prospect that we'll be hearing a lot about in the coming years.

Thigh Five: Cosby Sweaters

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Irina Shayk is the gift that keeps on giving.



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I need this dolphin jetpack and I need it right fucking now (or by December 25th at least). I really don't think I'd be out of line if I said this was the greatest thing ever invented. I mean really, could you imagine owning this? Just finding a body of water and getting your Super Mario Sunshine on like a motherfucker whenever you want. My life would be complete.

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Here's a beautifully badass GoPro video of Mark Healey, Mikey Bruneau, Anthony Walsh, Jamie Sterling, and Koa Smith tearing up the North Shore pipeline in Hawaii:


Thigh Five: BroBible

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I'm not going to even give this guy props because this is a bit too much nerd action. No basketball skill whatsoever, and clearly hours and hours spent trying to get so good at this. We're talking this dude's entire bank account dropped on pop-a-shot basketball to win superballs, stuffed animals, and video games for systems that have been discontinued for a dozen years. Not money well spent bro.

Thigh Five: Barstool U

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A week ago today, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim signed Albert Pujols to a 10-year, $254 million contract. A day later, there was already a burger named in his honor, just two blocks from Angel Stadium at OC Sports Grill.

The burger is called "The Machine Burger", as "The Machine" is one of Pujols' nicknames.

Here's more on "The Machine Burger, from The Orange County Register,
The burger includes a half-pound of angus beef, a four-ounce fried mozzarella patty, cabbage, fried onion strings, avacado and tomatoes. The burger is priced at $13.99.

Ganjifard collaborated with General Manger Rob Beatty and Head Chef Vince Carino to create The Machine Burger – a play on one of Pujols' nicknames.

"It seemed fitting for a monster burger," Beatty said. "The Machine' is the coolest name. ... He just pumps out numbers like he's not human. This burger is out of this world."
Carino researched Pujols' native country, the Dominican Republic, to find ideas.

"One of their staple street foods is called the chimichurri burger," Carino said. "Basically, it's a burger mixed with onions and cilantro, served on a bun with fried onions."

Instead of the typical Angus beef patty, The Monster Burger has an Angus chimichurri patty, as well as the fried mozzarella patty – another nod to Dominican cuisine.

"Queso frito is a Dominican thing," Carino said. "They use fried cheese and serve it with everything. We also sauté it in a sauce called savon, which is a staple sauce."

The burger also includes pulled pork, to honor Pujols' stay with the St. Louis Cardinals, and is topped with avocado and tomatoes to give it a California flair.

The newspaper added that "Even if Pujols didn't want to eat his namesake burger, he could still take $634,992.11 out of his pocket change and buy The Machine Burger for every one of the 45,389 fans at a full Angel Stadium on opening day."

No word yet as to whether or not a C.J. Wilson food item is available in Orange County.

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A Merry Christmas Video From Maxim

Posted by Matt Clapp | 12/15/2011 02:24:00 PM | , , , ,

Found over at Bob's Blitz(a must-bookmark blog and follow on Twitter: @BobsBlitz, we have Jessica Roberts and Choice Models' Karyna providing a very nice Merry Christmas message:



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'Tebrew', The Tebow Beer

Posted by Matt Clapp | 12/14/2011 12:14:00 PM | , , , , , , , ,

Bonfire Brewing in Eagle(Vail) is about to release a beer in honor of Tim Tebow, called "Tebrew: The Sunday Sipper". And as you can see above, the label features some Tebowing with a beer in hand.

I'm guessing this is going to make Bonfire quite a bit of money. Living in Denver, I know as much as anybody how out of control Tebowmania is here, so even if Tebrew isn't widely distributed, surely tons of people will at least make the short trip to Vail to give the beer a try.

Says Bonfire's Facebook page, "Tebrew Sunday Sipper - a barleywine from Bonfire - is almost here. In the style of 4th quarter heroics, we're waiting until the last minute to serve it up -- the moment the 10oz glasses arrive, the real games can begin. Stay tuned."

Thigh Five: The Denver Post

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This Is What I'd Imagine Hockey Heaven Looks Like

Posted by Matt Clapp | 12/14/2011 11:28:00 AM | , , ,


Beautiful, and awesome.

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I was just checking out BroBible as I do daily, and came across this outstanding news blooper that took place recently on NBC's 9News here in Denver:


Trying to talk sports(Indiana Hoosiers' win over #1 Kentucky in hoops) with a hottie and talking about her rack while doing so. We at the Thigh salute you, Ashton Altieri.

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Chad Stylez is a Miami(Ohio) football equipment manager, and a fucking boss on the dance floor (which is just the football field during practice for him):


That's swag for ya. Chad Stylez just crushing it.

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Yesterday, FX announced that they are renewing 'The League' for a 13-episode fourth season:

In a statement Tuesday, FX’s Executive Vice President of Original Programming, Nick Grad, said, “The League continues to be one of our most successful comedy series both creatively and from a ratings standpoint. [Creators] Jackie and Jeff Schaffer, along with our terrific cast, are doing wonderful work each week to make one of the funniest shows on television, and we’re excited to order another season.”
Source: TV Line

Boom boom.

Even those of us that were huge fans of 'The League' in the first season didn't think a show centered around fantasy football would last too long, but indeed it has (and that's mainly because the show is much more about men in their 30s dealing with their hilarious everyday lives than it is about fantasy football). And it just keeps getting better (this season is superb).

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I'd be lying my ass off if I said that I wouldn't like to get my extreme pogo game on after seeing that. I'd also be lying my ass off if I said that I'd come out of it without a broken face.

P.S. Was pogoing over somebody in a wheelchair really necessary?

Thigh Five: BroBible

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AWESOMENESS: Tron-Esque Surfing

Posted by Matt Clapp | 12/06/2011 09:42:00 AM | , , , ,

Major thigh five to our friends at BroBible for coming across this video of some surfers in Australia surfing in glow-in-the-dark surfboards and wetsuits FTW:


Absolutely badass.

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On December 15th, Adidas will release their latest version of the adiZero Rose 2 shoes nationally, the adizero Rose 2 'Windy City'. But if you want them early, "Adidas Basketball" is giving their Facebook followers a special opportunity to purchase the shoes next week.

Here's what Adidas has to say about the shoes:
Inspired by Chicago’s blue line “L” train and the holiday season, D-Rose will debut this fire red/black/white/blue colorway during his Christmas Day game. It features a Chicago “L” map in the sockliner and a blue adiZero pin line on the upper to rep the blue line “L” train. The upper is anodized to give the brushed metal look of train cars with a fire red finish to look like a holiday gift on the court.
And here are the shoes:

I'm a Bulls fan and a Chicago nut in general. I'm also pretty much obsessed with Derrick Rose and already have the main adiZero Rose 2 shoes. So, maybe I'm a little biased, but I think these are pretty badass, especially with black or red clothes/uniforms on in addition to the shoes. Very cool tribute to D-Rose's hometown.

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Back with another $200(1st- $75, 2nd- $50, 3rd- $30, 4th- $20, 5th- $15, 6th- $10) freeroll league for you on FanDuel.

Absolutely zero reason to not join, although by now, you should know that.

It's for the week 13 games, starting with the 1 PM ET games on Sunday. Just make sure to be signed up a bit before the Sunday games start.

Here's more details on what to do, and what FanDuel is all about, in case for some reason you haven't found that out for yourself out:

1. First, click here to join: Friends Of FanDuel Freeroll

2. Then, pick your team within a $60k salary cap. Consisting of QB, 2xRB, 3xWR, TE, K and D.

3. Watch the live scoring on FanDuel during the games and see how your picks perform.

So how is FanDuel different from your regular fantasy football league?
  • These are salary cap leagues that last only one week
  • You get instant cash payouts every Monday
  • You don’t have to rely on your buddies – you can pick new opponents every week
  • You can play for free, but playing for real money – for up to $10,000 in prizes per game – takes the fantasy football excitement off the charts!
Again, if you missed it above, click this link to join the $200 freeroll:

Friends Of FanDuel Freeroll

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