Sharapova's Thigh

Showing posts with label Chris Paul. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chris Paul. Show all posts

CP3 doing CP3 things. The Clippers' point guard was absolutely ridiculous for the entire second half, making incredible passes and hitting incredible shots like the one you just saw. Paul finished the game with 24 points and nine assists.

The Clippers now have a 2-0 series lead over the Grizzlies in the series as they head to game three in Memphis.

Thigh Five: CBS Sports

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These guys at Johnny Rockets look familiar.

Thigh Five: SportsGrid on Facebook

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Tonight against the Blazers, Chris Paul made an absolutely ridiculous three-pointer to beat the shot clock buzzer in the fourth quarter:

CP3 and the Clippers went on to win the game 93-88, handing the Trail Blazers their first loss of the young season.

Oh, and it doesn't feel right to post about the Clippers without some Lob City action, so here's CP3 and DeAndre Jordan connecting on one of what will likely be a billion alley-oops this year:

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This game wanted to die at half, but our Constitution does not allow for assisted suicide, in spite of the Thunder's players best efforts. 105-80 is your final score.

Some fellow named Mohaumed Sene is imposing his will to the tune of 4 pts and 3 boards. Next thing I know, Clapp will have me dropping Nowitzki to pick him up in my fantasy league. 103-75 NO.

How do you call a travel with 3 mins left in a 30 point game. And on Melvin Ely, no less!!! Cut the dude some slack. 101-71 NO.

And just like that, the 5 W's are broken up. Sadly enough, that's probably the only time this year the Oklahoma City crowd gets to see 5 W's. 97-71 NO.

Now Weaver is on the court! We have 5 W's out there! 10 U's! This has to be the greatest moment in the history of anything. 95-69 NO.

James Posey out? Mike James in? This game is getting bigger and bigger by the moment! What if they were on the court at the same time??? I don't know exactly what would happen, but I bet it resembles the plot of Waterworld. 93-66 NO.

As part of my "not their real name" series...Hilton Armstrong? That doesn't even sound close to real. Big Game James Posey is really showing up now in this, the biggest of games! (I call everyone with the name James "Big Game". Especially the James in the Bible). 90-64 NO.

There are 4 people on the floor with a last name that starts with W (Wright, Westbrook, Wilcox, Wilkins). 4 Ws. 8 U's! This is the best moment of this game, by far.

It appears the starters for the Hornets have packed up their ball and gone home, for the most part (sorry, Rasual Butler...but you're no starter in my book). The bad news for Oklahoma City, though, is that means a return to the floor by the unstoppable Devin Brown! 88-64 NO.

The end is nigh for this game...and the blog. Also coming to an end: me and the Oklahoma City Thunder. 83-57 NO.


Every player who stops the clock in this game from this point out should be fined and/or shot.

I've seen a lot of names that don't suit the race before. Ken Harvey a black guy? Yea, I didn't believe it either. I can assure you, though, there is no player who has a name that defies his race more than Johan Petro. Yea, this is what the blog is devolving to. 80-53 NO.

I'm convinced that the Thunder thought they were getting Damien Wilkins' uncle, Dominique, when they signed him. In fact, I don't think I could be made to believe otherwise. 72-49 NO.

Not only is Nick Collison making me look like a jackass for dropping him (16 pts, 13 boards), but he purports to make a game out of this. Of course, Peja seems to be hellbent on making me look good. 66-49 NO.

The Thunder are storming back behind Nick Collison's double-double! *grumble*. I wonder what the over/under is for number of times they play "Thunderstruck" during a game there? 62-45 NO.

If nothing else, at least the nation gets to see the Thunder's brand of basketball...or whatever this is. I seriously doubt ESPN puts them on again. At least, against a men's team. 62-41 NO.

Contrary to my expectations, the Thunder appear to have come out again for the second half. Well, physically, at least.


And we go to half...and what a competitive half it was! The Thunder are really showing us the talent and skill that has made them the pride of a city marred by bombs and the fact that it is in Oklahoma. 60-39 NO.

Collison Watch! 10 pts and 8 boards before half. David Lee is done playing and ended with 13 and 12. Clapp's FanIQ gig is starting to look shady. 54-35 NO.

How awesome would it be if Seattle woke up one morning and the Space Needle had been moved to Oklahoma City? Really awesome, I think. 48-28, NO.

For the record, I am one semester away from having my JD and I'll be damned if I can figure out how to use the colors on this site.

Clapp: A great drinking game... whenever Hubie Brown(who I think is as good of an analyst as there is in the game so this isn't a knock on him) says "high percentage shots", you chug. You'll be stumbling and slurring in no time.

I had no idea PJ Carlesimo was still in the league until the 4:54 mark of the second quarter of this game. Can I assume he was hired sometime before that point? 41-24 NO.

And Chris Paul is coming back into the game. 11 assists per game for Paul. Those are XBox numbers.

Devin Brown is unstoppable. James Posey with an uncontested layup. How long before ESPN cuts to poker? 37-22 NO.

I'm sorry, but "love affair" is just not a proper term when dealing with a city. What does that imply? That New Orleans didn't know of the Hornets and OKC's rendezvous? Is New Orleans going to get jealous now and come after the Hornets with a power saw and a very, very metal bottle opener? I'm sorry baby, she was just a friend...35-22 NO.

What's left of the Knicks is losing by 21 to the Bucks...LeBron, are you watching? David Lee does have a double double, though!

James Posey for 3...splash! Splash?!?! Really? At least flare it up a bit. Like "Splash goes the orange fish!"33-22 NO.

Watching the Hornets without Chris Paul in is really, really boring. The NBA should put hits out on Paul's defenders. If he gets hurt, that's a major blow to NBA watchability (if's like drinkability, but for the eyes).

I don't know anything about basketball...but if Devin Brown "cannot be covered by anyone on the floor right now", then maybe OKC should just forfeit? Even more, why not give it to Devin Brown every time? He's unstoppable. Wait, who is Devin Brown? 28-19 NO.

Nancy Lieberman...I'm pretty sure she could play the 4 for the Thunder.

Collison Watch! 6 pts and 3 boards through the first quarter. Meanwhile, David Lee still has the 11 pts and 9 board at the end of the 3rd. Clapp is starting to get worried.


Some nonsense occurred on the other end of the court that involved Chris Wilcox. This is awesome. 26-17 NO.

If I were David Stern, after I got done getting laid because...hey...I'm rich, I'd make a rule that fouls cannot be called before the final 2 mins of the half/game. That'd be awesome. Then we could really see Ron Artest at his finest.

Devin Brown just had happen to him what would happen to me any time I attempted to lay the ball up at any level. Neighborhood, High School, Girl Scout's all over my face. The ball, that is. 22-15 NO.

Clapp's laughing at my last comment. I can only assume it's because he's reading 'annals' as 'anals'. I guess that is funny. Some big headed guy is taking up 20% of my screen. 22-12 NO.

Because we're professionals, we're not letting a little thing like a font mishap bring us down. Although my penis remark was lost in the annals of the site.

I think the natives of Oklahoma City are hoping for a hurricane to come through, annihilate the Thunder, and then another come through and displace the Hornets again. 17-12 NO.

Clapp: And the real question is, which team has the uglier jerseys? You already know my answer.

I see Collison has 4 pts and 2 boards! Of course, David Lee, who I picked up in Collison's place, has 11 pts and 9 boards early in the second half. That's why Clapp's the fantasy genius!

The Thunder are scoring at a 41 percent clip this year. Yuck. But that's still a higher scoring percentage than I feature on a normal Friday night. Zing! Wait, I just zinged myself. 11-6 NO.

I don't know anyone on this Thunder team other than Kevin Durant and Nick Collison. And I only know the latter because I had him on my fantasy team before Clapp made me drop him. As such, expect him to go 30-20 tonight. 9-6 Hornets.

We pick it up at the 8 min mark with a 7-4 Hornets lead. I expect this is as close as it gets.

I'm tired. And not going out. So let the dulcet tones of the Thigh take you into the night...with live blogging.

BallHype: hype it up!Add to RootZoo

I'm watching the New Orleans Hornets-Golden State Warriors game right now, and I'm not really liking these new Hornets jerseys. Very random blog, I know. Anyway, the top one, and the one right below this are apparently their new jerseys.

Compared to the previous ones:

I think the previous ones were sharp, and I loved the yellow. At the same time, I'm sure there's a lot of you that hated those.
It seems like they're trying to go back to the Larry Johnson and Alonzo Mourning Charlotte Hornets days. Those were the glory days!

BallHype: hype it up!Add to RootZoo

So I just had a blog ready, ripping on NBC for having this game tape delayed... but it's not. Thankfully.

I'm a little drunk by the way, a good 6 beers deep and counting. So this could get interesting.

We destroyed Spain in the preliminary round, winning 119-82. Spain will also be without point guard Jose Calderon, who also plays for the Toronto Raptors. They're in the NBA if you've never heard of them. I don't think half the league knows they exist.

So, this is set up for us to kick some Spanish ass. Are you with me? Let's win this bitch!

1st Quarter

Tipoff: LeBron drills a 3 to open it up, but Pau Gasol comes right back with an "and one". 3-3. Howard gets fouled, splits the free throws which is good for him it seems these days, and Pau follows with a dunk. 5-4 Spain. Now Jason Kidd makes a layup, 6-5 USA.. and a foul on LeBron, #2. FUCK! 2 free throws for somebody on Spain, 7-6 them.

6:00: Have you ever heard of a boxout Carmelo? Get your head out of your ass. 10-9 Spain. Now Kobe with 2 fouls and this one on a 3-point shot? What's up 2004 USA team? 15-11, 4 points is either tied for the most, or the most points USA's been down the whole tournament.

5:00: Dwyane Wade lays it in... and the foul(marv albert voice)! But Spain comes right now to score, and now Juan Carlos Navarro, comes down and hits a shot right away. These fuckers are playing transition ball with us! Dammit! But CP3 comes down, lays it in and gets to the line, hits the free throw. Ricky Rubio hurt, and that's huge with Calderon out. Their third string point guard is in. 21-17 Spain.

4:00: Chris Paul came to play tonight. Now hits a ridiculously difficult shot off the backboard, and hits the free throw. 22-20.

3:45: Pau Gasol gets about 8,000 offensive rebounds on one play, but doesn't score. USA with their good transition game, gets the ball into Bosh quickly, and he gets himself to the line. First one, yeah that's good bitch. Second, you bet. How about this, the USA making free throws! Tied game!

2:58: Raul Lopez, the third string point guard on Spain picks up his third foul! KILL THEM AMERICA!

2:30: Dwyane Wade with a steal and a reverse dunk! Oh that shit was great. Then Garbajosa, former Raptor like Calderon who's now going to play overseas because he's a douche hits a 3. 28-25 USA.

2:00: A few things happened... including Ricky Rubio's 2nd foul. Marc Gasol is in for Spain and gets a layup. Now some asshole on Spain tried to murder Dwyane Wade. He hits both freebies. 33-27 America.

1:00: Now Marc Gasol with a drop step and takes Chris Bosh to the hole like it's nothing. That can't happen!

End of 1st quarter: D Motherfucking Wade for 3! Then a great steal and goes up for the dunk but loses control of the ball and the first quarter is over. What a game we have ahead it appears. 38-31 USA.

2nd Quarter

1o:00: Craig Sager interviewing USA women's basketball member Lisa Leslie... she couldn't remember LeBron James' name. Tayshaun Prince I could see, but the King? Somebody hits a 3 for the USA, I think it was Kobe. Kobe then with what they called a flagrant apparently on Pau Gasol. Gasol does his best Ben Wallace impression at the line, misses both. Kobe... SLAM BITCH!
43-31 Red white and blue!

8:00: Pau Gasol misses, but his less talented brother Marc doesn't. Kobe for 3! 46-33. SWEEP THE LEG!

7:00 Spain guard and future member of the Portland Trailblazers Rudy Fernandez hits a 3. That son of a bitch. Oden better give him a nice kick to the nutsack when he heads this way.

6:00: Pau Gasol tries to take Dwight Howard to the basket... not happening. Then Chris Paul with a sick pass from halfcourt on an alley-oop to Kobe! If I'm getting any of the players wrong by the way, please excuse me, this game is like rapid fire and it's hard doing this blog and watch completely at the same time.

5:00: LeBron in the open court... have fun with that Spain! Incredible take, AND ONE! Except he clanks the free throw. I missed a couple plays before that cuz I went to get another Dos Equis(stay thirsty my friends). D Wade with a steal and dunk!

4:00: Wade for 3! 18 points in 8 and a half minutes off the bench. Then Wade drives, dishes, LeBron for 3! World domination! 58-46. Now Rudy Fernandez hits a 3... you can do the math.

2:40: Tayshaun Prince with a great tip-in. Everything is going well at the moment for the USA. Their 3-point shooting in particular has been tremendous thus far, and it had been crappy all tournament. A couple free throws for a Spaniard. 60-51.

2:00: DWYANE WADE HAVE MY BABIES! 3! 7-7! 21 POINTS! Of course, that bitch Rudy Fernandez comes down and drills a 3 himself. Make that 2 kicks to the nutsack Oden. CP3 with a couple freebies, Reyes not sure of the first name but it's not Jose with a layup. Sloppy defense. Defense has been winning our games, creating turnovers and playing transition ball. Not doing it enough tonight. Thankfully we're hitting 3's and free throws.

1:10: 67-58, and Deron Williams with an inexcusable straddling(not Jenna Jameson style) of halfcourt, gets called for backcourt. Somebody with a foul, Bitch(that's his new name) Fernandez with a free throw, and another. Oden...

End of half: Deron Williams misses a 3, but Tayshaun Prince with a nice offensive board. By the way, I like D-Will and better say that right now before Baron hops on here and kills me. Chris Paul gets the ball, draws a foul, first free throw is good, second is too. USA shooting 67% from the field, but only up 8, that shows how their defensive effort hasn't been up to par. On cue a steal by Wade, a 3 at the buzzer... no good. USA with their favorite number 69, Spain 61 at half. Now, time to get another drink or two in at half.

If you've watched the other games we've played in the tournament, you know we played incredible defense, but sucked on free throws and three-point shooting. That's the complete opposite of how things are going in this one. Very physical game though, it's not like these guys aren't trying on defense. I think we're gonna kick their ass in the 2nd half, but we'll see.

Jim Lampley just said this is on pace to be the highest scoring basketball game in olympic history.

3rd Quarter

Coach K told Sager, "We have to play better defense without fouling." Completely agree with that. That Reyes fellow hits a shot off a turnover, and another USA turnover.

8:40: Sloppy on both sides.

: Melo misses a 3 but Howard with the offensive board and puts it in. Spain comes down with easy points. Travel on Kobe, Mike Breen(the pbp guy) thought it was an And One. Sigh(chugs drink).

7:30: Gasol with a pretty left-handed jump hook from the baseline and we have a fucking 4 point game! Son of a bitch. Howard's going to the line... I'm not looking forward to it. Sure enough, clank, and I'm expecting another one. Yep misses again, BUT MELO COMES OUT OF NOWHERE WITH A TIP IN AND THE FOUL! Hit the freebie Melo, hit the freebie. Nope. Back to sucking at free-throw shooting. 73-67.

6:40: Juan Carlos Navarro makes a shot, LeBron misses, Spain misses, but Dwight Howard with a facial Peter North style all over Spain. Then Juan Carlos Navarro scores again. I can't keep up with this shit, geez. I don't even know the score. Coach K calls a timeout.

5:30: Carmelo makes a layup off a steal from Bosh(I think), but he's hurt... his hand it looks like. 77-71. 77-73 now.

4:30: The USA looks like the team that's losing right now. You can see it in their faces.

4:00: LeBron with a circus shot, then Marc Gasol with an easy layup. What the fuck? Then LeBron comes right down with the left hand layup and the foul. But misses the free throw! 6 point lead.

3:44: The tenacity on each side is picking up. They're all over the floor. Marc Gasol going to the line. Miss. I predict another! And I'm done predicting for the night, 5 point game.

3:00: Chris Bosh makes 2 free throws! Something else happens, then Wade with an MJ-esque fadeaway jumper. 86-76 USA.

1:50: Juan Carlos Navarro is not getting a Christmas card from me this year. Deron Williams i think they said scored, now he gets a steal, comes down on the break and hits a shot and the foul... or not, CHARGING? ARE YOU JOSHING ME? LOOK AT THE FEET MOVING ASSHOLE! SET MY ASS!

End of 3rd quarter: Juan Carlos Navarro hits a buzzer-beating layup. 91-82. I'm nervous.

4th Quarter

Deron Williams misses a layup on a 3 on 2, then LeBron gets called for his 3rd foul. 91-84. Kobe misses a 3. Fuckkkkk.

8:00: All hell has broken loose. We can't hit a 3 to save our lives now, and Spain comes right down with Bitch Fernandez and hits a 3 to make it a 2 POINT GAME! Unreal. My buddy Koz says, "Why the fuck isn't Tayshaun on Fernandez?" I agree.

7:00: 4 fouls on LeBron, 1 more and he's gone. 93-89. Bitch Fernandez misses a 3. D WILL FOR 3 BITCH! FUCK YEAH!!!!!!! 96-89!

6:30: Dwight Howard big dunk! Then Bitch Fernandez for 3, nope, but offensive board Spain back to Fernandez wide open again, hits it. PLAY DEFENSE ASSHOLES! KOBE FOR 3! THE WORLD IS UP FOR GRABS!

6:00: We scored again, but Rudy Fernandez with the dunk of the tourney, posterizing Howard, and the foul. Hits the free throw. Okay Oden... KILL HIM.

4:30: Up 8 I believe, the Hack-A-Howard is on. As Koz says, "Somebody call Habitat For Humanity, Dwight is about to contribute two more bricks." Clank on the first... and HITS THE 2ND! HOLY SHIT!

4:00: 104-97. Paul misses a 3, shit.

3:30: Somebody on the USA is thrown to the ground, no foul call! Then Marc Gasol and is stupid haircut hit a jumper. KOBE FOR 3 AND THE FOUL HOLY SHIT!!! And Bitch Fernandez with the foul, he's done! Kobe hits the free throw, 108-99. I used to hate Kobe more than anybody around... not anymore. That bitch Navarro again! 108-101.


1:49: Free throw hit by Spain, then miss, but Paul goes for the rebound and Spain throws it off him to get the ball back. Missed 3 wide open, Jimenez.

1:00: Kobe with a runner! Yes! Now we got the ball back, 113-105 the clock is running, no fouls yet, finally a foul by Navarro on Paul with 47.7.

47.7: Paul hits both, 8-8. Thighs of the Week, your new mission is pleasuring Chris Paul. Marc Gasol puts in a layup. 32.9 left. 115-107.

26:1: WE'RE GETTING THE GOLD! AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is awesome. "U-S-A!" chants in the arena. The players are going nuts, I've got chills.

Final Score: 118-107.

BallHype: hype it up! Add to RootZoo

So last night after Brooks and I played GTA IV for about 5 straight hours, we went out to the bar "Road 34", which is about 50 yards away from my apartment. I had some Dew& Vodka before we went over there, a few Budweisers at the bar, and a shot of Butter Crown.
Yes, I was drunk, but not too badly and I remember pretty much everything. However, my foot or the end of my ankle(something in that area), is killing me. I have no idea why. I don't remember stepping awkwardly on it last night, and I'm 99.9% sure I didn't fall. This isn't like Rad's ankle injury a couple months ago, where he stumbled over a curb while drunk and broke his ankle. So anyway, this sucks. But enough about me, like you care anyway...

We'll stay on the topic of drinking though. Bears running back Cedric Benson has been a huge bust, and he lowered to a whole new level on Saturday night as he was arrested. Benson was charged with drunk boating and resisting arrest:

Benson was arrested on Lake Travis near Austin after a Lower Colorado River Authority officer made contact with his 30-foot boat to do a random safety inspection at 9:07 p.m. Benson failed a "float test," an abbreviated field sobriety test, and when the officer instructed him he would have to come to land to do an extended test, Benson became argumentative, according to a press release from the LCRA.

When Benson refused to wear a life jacket and continued to "present himself as a threat to the officer" he was subdued with pepper spray. On land, Benson had to be dragged into a waiting Travis County Sheriff’s vehicle for transport to central booking at 9:46 p.m. He refused to take a breath test at central booking and was charged with the two Class B misdemeanors, which are each punishable by six months in jail and a fine of $2,000, according to Roger Wade, the public information officer for the Travis County Sheriffs Office. The report stated "12 to 15" other people were on the boat and no one else was charged. None of the others were football players.

With the Bears drafting running back Matt Forte out of Tulane in the 2nd round, and being very impressed with him in minicamp, rumors were already circulating that Benson could be the odd man out in a Bears backfield that also includes the other Adrian Peterson who head coach Lovie Smith loves, and 2007 3rd round pick Garrett Wolfe. With this drunk boating incident, I'd think there's little to no chance Benson is back, especially after the scrutiny the Bears faced following the Tank Johnson situation.

In other sports news...
  • The #1Boston Celtics finally knocked off the #8 Atlanta Hawks in game 7. It shows how nice home-court advantage is in the playoffs, as a road game was not won in the series. I've never seen a game 7 where a team is a 14.5 point favorite, as was the case for the Celtics today. Incredibly, they made that line look way too small as they won 99-65. The Hawks showed that they should be a good team in the East for a long time with all of that young talent, at least when they play at home. I predicted the Celtics to sweep, and I didn't see anybody picking this series to go more than 5 games.
  • How about Chipper Jones' numbers so far? He hit another homer, and added 5 RBI today to his already incredible numbers. He's now hitting .425, with 9 HR, 27 RBI, and an OPS of 1.189. Pretty good for a 36-year-old.
  • Chase Utley's swinging a nice bat himself. He already has an MLB-leading 13 homers. That's 4 more homers than anybody else in MLB has.
  • Notice how much more enjoyable the sports world is when the Yankees aren't playing so well? I don't see them getting much better anytime soon either. Phil Hughes is out until at least July and sucked anyway, Ian Kennedy was just sent down, Mike Mussina is old, Pettite is old and off the juice. Wang's been the only one rising to the occasion...
  • Reports are that Kobe Bryant won the MVP, but Chris Paul's already showed after the first round in the playoffs, and in the first game against the Spurs, why it should be him. Unlike anybody I've ever seen, he makes the rest of the players around him so much better. Plus, when he needs to take over, he can. He's very capable of scoring 40+ on any given night, but just does what it takes to win. I'm not taking anything away from the season Kobe's had at all. It's been absolutely fabulous, and I never thought he would be as unselfish as he's been this year. He's changed.
  • A few NBA coaching change predictions: Rick Carlisle to Mavericks, Mark Jackson to Knicks, Mike D'Antoni to Bulls.