Sharapova's Thigh

Showing posts with label Florida. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Florida. Show all posts

Derrick Henry of Yulee High School in Florida broke the national career-rushing record in Yulee's 41-26 playoff victory over Perry Taylor County High School on Friday night.

Henry rushed for 482 yards in the game, giving him 11,612 rushing yards in his career, to break the previous record of 11,232 yards held by Ken Hall. Hall set the record in 1950-1953 while playing at Texas' Sugar Land High School.

Here's more on Henry's record, via ESPN.Com:

Entering the night, Henry needed 102 rushing yards to pass Hall. In 11 games this year, Henry has not been held below 200 yards rushing. He has run for 3,752 yards and 50 touchdowns. 

Henry, No. 26 in the ESPN 150 and the No. 3 athlete in the country, has rushed for more than 100 yards in all 45 high school games in which he has played. He set Florida's single-game rushing record earlier this season with a 510-yard performance against Jacksonville Jackson.

As Al Bruce of Black Sports Online points out, "Since Henry is 6’3” and 240lbs, you can expect plenty of comparisons to ex-Tennessee Titan and Ohio State great Eddie George."

Oh, and guess what? Henry's going to play college football at Alabama. It's about time 'Bama got a talented running back, right? Mark Ingram, Trent Richardson, Eddie Lacy, T.J. Yeldon... bums.

Anyway, here's a video featuring an ESPN interview with Henry, and some highlights of his runs :

Get the latest Thigh updates by following us on Facebook & Twitter.

(Click here to see a larger image, if your eyes aren't bleeding yet.)

Dear God. Those are the uniforms for the Carol City Chiefs, a high school in Delray Beach, Florida (a nice beach town next to Boca Raton).

SB Nation's Bill Hanstock summarized these uniforms well:

While most "Native American"-themed sports teams generally try to stay away from offensive iconography, Carol City has instead chosen to push the pedal to the floor and smash their football team headlong into the "INDIANS, EVERYBODY!" brick wall. 

It's not just that their helmets have become fabulous orange-and-grey headdresses. It's not even that THERE IS AN AMERICAN INDIAN CHIEF ON THEIR CROTCHES, OH DEAR, SWEET LORD. No, it is the combination of ALL of these elements with one of the worst color schemes possible, and to top it all off, "digital"-style team name and numbers on the jerseys, like the only free font available on the website they were browsing was "Tamagotchi."

Thigh Five: BroBible

Get the latest Thigh updates by following us on Facebook & Twitter.

Sharks. Thousands of them. Last week, right off the Palm Beach, Florida coast:

Holy fuck. I lived in Fort Lauderdale for a year and have been in the Palm Beach water... I sure as hell don't plan on doing that again anytime soon.

Get The Latest Thigh Updates By Following Us On Twitter.

A Central Florida school district thinks cheerleading uniforms are too revealing for the classroom.

The Lake County School District said it wants all students to follow the dress code, and cheerleader uniforms reveal too much.

The District has set up two main rules: tops cannot be sleeveless and skirts must be at least down to the mid-thigh.

If uniforms don't meet the regulations, the district wants cheerleaders to wear long shorts or pants under their skirts and T-shirts under their tops, unless the principal objects to that as well.

On Friday at Mount Dora High School, cheerleaders wore T-shirts and pants during a pep rally instead of their uniforms.

The Mount Dora junior varsity squad members said that their coach instructed them to leave their uniforms at home on Friday.
Source: News4Jax

As a dude, really all you have to look forward to in high school are cheerleaders. Maybe a P.E. game of dodgeball here and there where you can drill some nerd in the face. But cheerleaders are all you can count on. Just sit there in your class and get your thigh drool-stare on at your school's Kelly Kapowski while the teacher blabbers about god knows what.

And these Lake County School District commies are making the cheerleaders where sleeves and above-mid-thigh skirts at school? Fucking bullshit. This is seriously a bigger Florida fuck-up than the butterfly ballots.

Get The Latest Thigh Updates By Following Us On Twitter.

Well clearly Marc. A. Szakaly has seen The Sandlot a time or two. And in the movie he watched a 12-year-old in Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez forge a Babe Ruth signature with little trouble, and understandably figured he could do the same, which he did. Then he went into Florida pawn shops where he was surely going to meet some clueless geezers as store owners and gave them a little sob story about how he badly needed fast cash and would sell the baseballs for much cheaper than their actual value. He even included some fancy letters of authenticity with each ball.

The problem is that Szakaly's plan as a whole featured some major flaws. Some of the baseballs featured brand names that didn't even exist when Ruth played, some of the baseballs had the same identification number, etc.

And probably the biggest problem was that Szakaly got too greedy. Yeah, you could possibly get away with a scheme like this for a while, but eventually you're going to find somebody that's going to send these baseballs in for an authenticity check or notice something themselves right away. It's like when I play blackjack or roulette: If, say, I'm playing $5-$25 hands and get to the point where I'm up $200-$300, I get out, because eventually I know I'm going to have a big run of bad luck. Szakaly should've been happy enough to get, say, $5,000 on his $12(per baseball) investment and gotten the hell out.

P.S. I'm not trying to get advice on how to get away with a crime, I'm just saying how Szakaly was doomed with how he went about this.

Get The Latest Thigh Updates By Following Us On Twitter.


That is Jose Canseco's cell phone number according to the Miami New Times. The reason they posted it?
He tweeted Leila Shennib's phone number because he wanted people to call and ask her about her actions, and now it's his turn to answer for his.
On Friday night, Canseco tweeted all of this crap about Shennib, his ex-girlfriend:

The Miami New Times then contacted Shennib about it:
We spoke with his ex. She said she's been getting so many calls and texts offering to trade her drugs for sex that Verizon called her to ask why there was a sudden spike in activity.
So, they called Canseco, and told him that they were planning to publish his number for everybody to see, as he did for Shennib. He of course wasn't happy about it, even calling them a "young little boy" and "piece of shit". Just Canseco being his mature self as always. And that of course didn't help his chances to prevent the Miami New Times from publishing it.

Anyway, I encourage you all to call away, although I'd imagine he'll have the number disconnected very soon if it isn't already. Then again, he might not be smart enough to do that.

Get The Latest Thigh Updates By Following Us On Twitter.

Yeah, they're no lions, but alligators are pretty badass:

How perfect is that? Just a killer animal going straight at a cop car in Florida as if it was told to. And if it was indeed doing as told, I need to get a pet alligator ASAP.

Thigh Five: Jalopnik

Get The Latest Thigh Updates By Following Us On Twitter.

If you read us on the reg, you know that we've had a shitload of posts relating to former major leaguer, and lifetime psycho, Jose Canseco. Usually, they're from the gold mine that is his Twitter account. This time, though, it's about something that's actually in the news headlines.

You see, on Saturday night, Jose was scheduled to participate in a Celebrity Boxing event at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood, Florida. Instead, Jose sent his twin brother Ozzie to the event:
A representative of the firm Celebrity Boxing confirmed Sunday that Canseco was a no-show Saturday at a boxing event in Hollywood – and instead sent his twin brother Ozzie in his place, El Nuevo Herald has learned

Some 30 minutes before his bout against Billy Padden at the Passion nightclub at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, it was discovered that the Canseco who was in South Florida ready to fight was not the same guy who hit 462 homeruns in the Major Leagues.

Damon Feldman, promoter of the celebrity boxing program, which also includes female boxing, had tell about 400 fans who had paid their tickets that there would not be a fight.

“We discovered the Canseco who showed up was Ozzie when he took off his shirt and didn’t have José’s tattoos on the biceps that appear in our advertising,” a Celebrity Boxing representative told El Nuevo Herald. The man said he did not want to be identified.

José Canseco did not respond to telephone calls.

On Sunday, however, José Canseco posted two messages on Twitter saying: “Damon Feldman did not comply with his part of the agreement,” and “be careful with Damon Feldman, the Celebrity Boxing leader, who will not pay you if you fight for him.”

The same source said that the agreed fee for José Canseco to fight in South Florida was $10,000.

“We made him a transfer of $5,000 when we agreed on the fight,” the source said. “Hours before the fight Saturday, we issued a check for the remaining $5,000 in the name of José Canseco, and we delivered it to whom we thought was José Canseco. He declined it and asked that the check be made out to cash, which we did.

Source: Miami Herald

Oh Jose. You're about the last person that should try to be sly like this.

Also, one of these days, Ozzie is going to kick Jose's ass. And it's going to be hilarious.

Get The Latest Thigh Updates By Following Us On Twitter.

In a shocking revelation Florida Governor Charlie Christ announced that the state is indeed home to TWO Major League Baseball teams. Apparently the teams are the Marlins of Florida located in Miami and the Rays of Tampa Bay. In even more shocking news these teams have existed for 16 and 11 years respectively. The teams have gone unnoticed because they have been mired in what Christ referred to as "complete and utter suckitude......too embarrassing for a proud state like Florida to acknowledge......forces me to use words like suckitude that don't even exist.....And for the last time I'm not related to Jesus or Craig. It's not even pronounced the same. Say the word crystal and then remove the "al" ".

The Marlins, apparently a large fish that is the goal of many sports fishermen, have won an astounding 7 games in a row and are atop the NL East. Nobody knows who their manager is. For that matter nobody, including said unknown manager, could name the entire starting lineup. But it appears they are good.

The Rays, known formally as the Devil Rays, have spent much of the last denying any official link to the Steve Irwin death. Authorities are still investigating. How can a man that wrestles crocodiles possibly be killed by a animal that resembles a flying saucer? Very strange indeed. Many observes thought that this team was actually a Triple-A affiliate for another MLB squad. The Rays trail only the Boston Red Sox in the rugged AL East.

This news comes as a shock to many. Just breathe slowly and let the information digest.

BallHype: hype it up!