Sharapova's Thigh

Showing posts with label San Francisco 49ers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label San Francisco 49ers. Show all posts

WKMG reporter Jessica Sanchez to videobomber in New Orleans: "How long have you had an STD?"


Thigh Five: Bob's Blitz

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Julio Jones is having himself quite the NFL Championship game. As I write this, the 6'3", 220-pound Atlanta Falcons wide receiver/beast has seven catches for 135 yards and two touchdowns. And it's only halftime.

The second touchdown reception from Jones was an absolutely incredible play, as he made a leaping catch in the back of the end zone on a Matt Ryan pass (which was also terrific), and did an unbelievable job to keep his feet inbounds.

Check it out in GIF form, via The New Sports Guru (first GIF) and Gifulmination (second GIF):



I'm quite happy to have this special second-year receiver on my fantasy football keeper league team.

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I'm a Saved by the Bell nut, but can't say I saw too many of the Saved by the Bell: The New Class episodes. And that's a good thing, because the series was quite awful

In the show, Mr. Belding is still the Bayside HS principal, and Screech sticks around as his assistant. Zack, Slater, Kelly, and Jessie are gone, and they're replaced by a bunch of random crappy characters. 

However, the show did include a cameo from current San Francisco 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh. Wait, what?

The video proof of Harbaugh's cameo is below, but first, let Jeff G of Last Angry Fan explain the situation:

At the time Harbaugh was quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts, and in the Season 4 episode titled Little Hero, he not only plays himself, but he also ends up being Screech’s cousin for some strange and completely unfunny reason. The interaction between Dustin Diamond (aka Screech Powers) and Harbaugh is almost too painfully corny to watch. 

Screech's cousin (which would make Baltimore Ravens head coach John Harbaugh Screech's cousin as well!)... yeah, um, okay. Very believable.

Anyway, here's video of the episode (just skip to the 15:23 mark for the cameo of Harbaugh ):

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Earlier, we showed you a massive hit from a CFL game on Saturday, and asked, "Football hit of the year?" Well, we just got another "football hit of the year" contender in the Monday Night Football game between the Arizona Cardinals and San Francisco 49ers.

Watch 49ers safety Dashon Goldson absolutely crush Cardinals wide receiver Early Doucet (video via Cosby Sweaters):



And here it is in GIF form, via @cjzero (click through the GIF if it's not working):



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My very first YouTube video upload from my brand-spanking new Flip video camera(which I highly recommend putting on your holiday wish list if you don't have one)...

Quarterback Derek Anderson had a horrible game on Monday Night Football as his Arizona Cardinals lost 27-6, in embarrassing fashion at home to the San Francisco 49ers.

The cameras caught him laughing on the sidelines while they were getting blown out as well, and a reporter understandably asked him about that in the postgame press conference. Anderson didn't take the question very well, to say the least, and had a classic tirade:



And yes, it immediately reminded me of former Arizona Cardinals coach, Dennis Green, going off after they lost to the Bears on Monday Night Football a few years ago:



Which tirade do you like more? I'll go Dennis Green... but I also enjoyed it more than most did since I'm a Bears fan.

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Yes, I think the guy on the right will be the best fantasy QB in week 10.

Originally published on November 11th; Updated on November 12th

The Ravens and Falcons play tonight, so make sure to set your lineups before that if you have any players from those teams. Falcons' stud receiver Roddy White is "Questionable" with a knee injury, but reports are that he will play.

I'll continue to update the post with more links as the week goes on, so keep checking back. Also, feel free to e-mail me any other fantasy football links at sharapovasthigh@gmail.com, and I'll consider adding them to the post.

Other fantasy football articles from around the web...
Links From The 11/12(6:25 PM ET) Update:
And some picks of my own(based on standard league scoring systems):

Week 10's Best

QB: Eli Manning... I actually like him over his brother this week... for probably the first time ever. Why? Eli is rolling right now. He has 12 touchdown passes over his last four games, and just put up 22 fantasy points in week seven at Dallas. Now he gets them in an even more disastrous state, and at home. Look for another 20+ fantasy point performance(unless it's such a blowout early that the Giants just run the ball like crazy second half).

RB: Arian Foster... Fantasy's leading scorer has three straight games with 21+ fantasy points, and that should continue against the Jaguars and their #22 run defense.

WR: Reggie Wayne... He's very due for a monster game. I like his chances for that to happen against the Bengals.

TE: Jacob Tamme... I swear this dude is Dallas Clark. 17 catches and two touchdowns in his two games as the Colts' starting tight end.

K: Rob Bironas... Bironas had 10+ fantasy point in five of his last six games. My second choice would be the kicker opposing him this week, Dan Carpenter.

D/ST: New York Giants... Their pass rush will give Jon Kitna hell, and the Cowboys' running game has been absolutely horrible of late, just like pretty much everything else in regards to the team.

Sleeper Picks

QB: David Garrard... Threw for 260 yards, four touchdowns, and no interceptions in his last game. Now he gets the Texans, who own the league's worst pass defense.

RB: LeGarrette Blount... The Bucs should frequently have the ball in the red zone against an absolutely atrocious Panthers squad. Look for Blount to get some goal line carries and "punch" one in.

WR: Mike Sims-Walker... He finally showed up in the Jaguars' last game(8/153/1), and while he probably won't put up quite those numbers, he'll have at least a solid game against the Texans' horrible pass defense.

TE: Brandon Pettigrew... Touchdowns in three of his last four games, and faces a Bills team that has been the worst in fantasy football against tight ends(11.8 points allowed per game).

K: Lawrence Tynes... You're at least going to get some extra points out of the Giants' kicker against the Cowboys.

D/ST: San Francisco 49ers... Finally looking more like the 49ers' defense we expected to see coming into the season, and host the league's #27 offense(St. Louis) this week.

Shit Picks

QB: Brett Favre... The Bears are 7-3 against Brett Favre teams in the Lovie Smith era. The penis texter leads the league in interceptions thrown with 13, and the Bears have 11 interceptions on defense. The Bears also have allowed the least amount of touchdown passes in the NFL(5).

RB: Matt Forte... The Vikings' run defense is still stout, and the Bears' offensive line is still opening up very few running lanes. Additionally, Chester Taylor is now the Bears' goal line back.

WR: Miles Austin... It's not his fault.

TE: Tony Gonzalez... Very good in PPR leagues, as we saw last week- eight catches for 72 yards(15 points). That's only seven points in standard leagues though. In fact, he's only had double-digit fantasy performances twice. I'm not dogging the future Hall of Famer, and I wouldn't be surprised at all if he had 10 catches for 100 yards and two touchdowns tonight, because the dude's that good. But, I'm going to predict another dud performance against a Ravens defense that is allowing just 3.4 fantasy points per game, which is #2 among fantasy defenses.

K: Ryan Longwell... The Bears are allowing the least amount of fantasy points to kickers in the NFL, and I think the Vikings' offense could struggle as I talked about with Favre. Plus, the game's in Chicago on a crappy field surface, and who knows how the weather is going to be? Just a lot of elements that I don't like for Longwell going into this one.

D/ST: Baltimore Ravens... The Falcons will put up points tonight in front of a pumped home crowd.

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Johnny Knox has Jay Cutler returning & a great matchup against Seattle in week six.

Other fantasy football articles from around the web...
And some picks of my own(based on standard league scoring systems):

Week 6's Best

QB: Philip Rivers... The co-leader(along with Peyton Manning) in fantasy football scoring gets a weak St. Louis secondary. Expect 20+ fantasy points.

RB: Chris Johnson... 40 carries for 311 yards(7.8 average) and two touchdowns against the Jaguars in 2009. Look for CJ to blow up this game.

WR: Miles Austin... Nine catches and 142+ yards receiving in three of his four games.

TE: Antonio Gates... Obviously.

K: Rob Bironas... The reliable Titans' kicker has double-digit fantasy performances in three of his last four games.

D/ST: Pittsburgh Steelers... I wouldn't be surprised if they were the highest fantasy scorer this week at home against Colt freaking McCoy and the Browns.

Sleeper Picks

QB: Matt Cassel... He's been quite crappy, but so has the Texans secondary. The Texans are allowing over 20 fantasy points per weeks to quarterbacks. I'm not going to predict Cassel gets that many, but I do like him for at least 15 points this week.

RB: Cadillac Williams... This is my "hunch" pick of the week. The Saints are allowing 20 fantasy points per week to running backs, and Cadillac needs a big performance soon or else he's going to lose the starting job.

WR: Johnny Knox... Jay Cutler is back and will look to take advantage of the Seahawks' 31st-ranked pass defense. Look for him to look Knox's way frequently downfield. The Bears' #1 wide receiver is going to breakout with a huge game soon, and this matchup has the ingredients to be that game.

TE: Heath Miller... Big Ben apparently looks great, and he should lead the Steelers into the red zone with ease against the Browns. Look for his tight end to get some red zone targets.

K: Matt Prater... I think the Broncos will be able to move the ball okay on the Jets with their passing attack, but will struggle to get into the end zone and will have to settle for field goals.

D/ST: San Francisco 49ers... The winless 49ers absolutely must beat the nearby Raiders this Sunday. Look for their underachieving defense to finally perform as they were expected to coming into the season, against Jason Campbell and an offense that will likely be without Darren McFadden.

Shit Picks

QB: Matt Ryan... Tough matchup for Ryan on the road against the Eagles. He has a good chance to reach double-digits, but he's not a top-15 play this week.

RB: Peyton Hillis... The Steelers are allowing under nine fantasy points per game to running backs. They will load the box with rookie Colt McCoy at quarterback, and will likely have a big enough lead for most of the game where the Browns will be forced to throw the ball.

WR: Kenny Britt... Three straight games with a touchdown, but only nine total catches in those games.

TE: Brandon Pettigrew... The Giants have been very good against tight ends this season, allowing under five fantasy points. Their pass rush should give Lions quarterback Shaun Hill(or Matthew Stafford) hell too, so this matchup just doesn't shape up very well for Pettigrew.

K: Jeff Reed... The Steelers' kicker will get you some extra points, but it's doubtful they settle for more than a field goal or two in what will be a blowout over the Browns.

D/ST: Kansas City Chiefs... A surprisingly solid defense this season that hasn't allowed over 20 points in a game, but that will change when they go into Houston to face a terrific Houston offense that can beat you through the air or on the ground.


Also, free to email(sharapovasthigh@gmail.com) me any fantasy football links that you think belong on here, and I'll consider adding them to the post.

My week 5 picks(Points based on standard scoring systems; Green indicates a notably good pick; Red indicates a notably bad pick):

Best: Peyton Manning(7 points), Maurice Jones-Drew(8 points), Reggie Wayne(7 points), Antonio Gates(15 points), Mason Crosby(7 points), New York Jets(16 points).

Sleepers: Sam Bradford(4 points), Michael Bush(19 points), Dwayne Bowe(3 points), Marcedes Lewis (17 points), Jason Hanson(16 points), Carolina Panthers(10 points).

Shit: Brett Favre(16 points), Marion Barber(1 point), Johnny Knox(1 point), Owen Daniels(4 points), Ryan Succop(10 points), New York Giants(11 points).

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Arizona Cardinals defensive tackle Darnell Dockett is a hell of a football player, and one crazy dude. It's shocking to me that his Twitter account hasn't gotten more talk, and that the league hasn't stepped in about it yet. And I sure as hell hope they don't.

His latest tweet to catch my eye is in regards to his NFC West rival San Francisco 49ers signing(just happened in like the last hour) veteran running back Brian Westbrook:


Ahhhhh hell naw Brian westbrook one of my best friends !! This is BS! Oh well I hope he know its not personal! but fuck it! #MNF #HITSTICK

That's a day after he responds to the announcement that 49ers running back(well, now former 49ers running back) Glen Coffee was retiring at the age of 23(and fittingly enough, this is whose spot Westbrook is taking on the roster):

Dear: Glen Coffee, don't retire just yet! just wait till after the MNF game then you will have a legit reason to retire!#EVL

Oh the drama of the NFC West! I'm so glad football's back.

Link(Darnell Dockett's Twitter Account)
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Ah, the 49ers-Cardinals on Monday Night Football, a game you'll only be watching because it's football, and because nothing else is on. So, how are you going to enjoy this game at all? It's difficult I know. This is what I would suggest:

Drink heavily. This is how I choose to make anything interesting really. Make a drinking game out of things Tony Kornheiser says. For tonight's game, he's sure to talk about Kurt Warner's career and how incredible his revival is. For any time he does this, chug, or take a shot. I'll just go with the chugging. Brett Favre references and talk of TK's fantasy football team are always fair game too.

Also, this should be an old-fashioned shootout. Well, the Cardinals(5-3) will be scoring a lot at least. Kurt Warner's thrown for 381 and 343 yards the last 2 weeks. And if you haven't seen the Cardinals running back Tim Hightower, you'll be impressed. As for the 49ers(2-6), well, they're shitty.

Note To Self: Remember to not eat kung pao chicken before live blogs anymore.

Kornheiser moment: In my fantasy football league for money, I'm up 13 points, but the dude I'm facing has the Cardinals defense. He's projected to beat me by 2. Prove the ESPN fantasy nerds wrong 49ers. I know I can't count on Shaun Hill, so it's up to you Frank Gore: You're officially on notice!

Alright, here we go. As always with my live blogs, beware of anything that will be said after halftime or so, when I'll likely be drunk. Trippel from New Belgium and Budweiser are the drinks tonight.

1st Quarter:

I go to grab a beer, and I comeback and it's 7-0? What the hell? A kickoff return apparently for the 49ers! 7-0 San Fran... the shootout begins with a bang.

Dammit, Tirico just said "begins with a bang"! Ass!

Warner comes out firing to Steve Breaston(or Breast Tons as Fella calls him) for about 20 yards.

And it looks like Warner will probably top 400 yards by halftime.

Hightower reminds me of somebody but I still can't figure it out. I was really impressed with him in the pre-season and it took them long enough to make him the feature back. 12 yards on his 2nd carry.

3rd down for the Cardinals in the red zone, Warner with an awful throw, Rackers puts in a field goal. 7-3 49ers.

Fly... where are you? The Lohan will not let you in the bath unless you join the live blog...


Decent return for the Niners, but a personal foul moves them back to the 19 yard line.

Frank Gore running like he knows he's on notice for 8 yards!

WILDCAT! Michael Robinson on 3rd and about 1 for 5 yards.

3rd and 6, and the 49ers run a WR drag a few yards short of the sticks. Their fans will love that. Breaston with a great return and almost went the distance before he was JACKED UP.

Stomach... regretting... the kung pao chicken... must be drink faster.

Warner to Breast Tons for 5.

WILDCAT! Anquan Boldin runs for 2 yards.

Wow, Warner with a 5 yard wounded duck near nobody... followed by a pathetic punt from Dirk Johnson. The Niners might have a chance after all.

Another drag route on 3rd and long, but luckily for the 49ers there wasn't a Cardinal near the WR Jason Hill on this one, gain of something more than 8.

If the cornerback is looking, I probably just lost my fantasy game as it should've been a pick-6.

Incomplete pass to Jason Hill called on 3rd and 8. Samurai Mike challenges it and it should be changed to a catch. Welp, they called it an incompletion as he lost the ball when he hit the ground. Don't know about that call.

An Edgerrin James sighting! He gets his usual 3 yards. Next play TIP DRILL... fail. Pass luckily falls incomplete in between 3 49ers. Now a false start, 3rd and 12 coming up. Screen pass to Hightower dropped. The fans are booing. Very surprising 1st quarter.

49ers run a reverse on the punt return, handing off to the highest paid cornerback in the history of the league, Nate Clements who gets a nice return up to the SF 45. Kickass special teams play for the Niners in this game.

Gore for 25 yards! Notice working! End of the 1st Quarter, 7-3 SF.

2nd Quarter:

The Cardinals really look crappy thus far. The NFC West is an absolute joke. Shit, the AFC West isn't much better if at all.

Singletary screaming at Vernon Davis again! Yes!

TOUCHDOWN SF! Flag down though... holding defense, touchdown stands. 31 yard pass down the right sideline by Shaun Hill. Great catch by the rookie Josh Morgan who recently made my sleeper pick of him look bad. Thanks for doing this now dickface. 14-3 49ers.

Steve Breaston is having a ridiculous night. He's been great on returns, now just caught an 18 yard pass, followed by a bomb from Warner for 46 yards on a diving catch. 4 catches 91 yards for the Cardinals #3 WR.

ANQUAN BOLDIN TD! That was quick. Boldin might be the best wideout in the league for quick slants, and just took one into the end zone from 13 yards out. 14-10, this is a fun game. And thank you to my week 10's best QB and WR picks for making me look smart for a minute at least.

The Cardinals D is picking up the tenacity. 3 and out for the Niners.

NO! Clark Haggans, former CSU Ram is hurt!

This Trippel is good shit. I'm pretty sure it's only available here in Colorado. It's from New Belgium, my favorite brewery in the world. Belgian style ale, and will get you feeling good fast, as it's 7.8 % ABV.

Breaston with the return gets hit hard, next play Warner hits him on the sideline for 15 yards. It's Steve Breaston's world and we're just lucky to be living in it. 5 catches 101 yards.

WILDCAT! 14 yards rushing for Boldin.

Breaston again 6 catches for 105 yards. New drinking game, every time Breaston touches the ball tonight, you chug. You will be plastered. I'm doing it bitches.

Fumble from Hightower. Nate Clements absolutely just ripped the ball out of Hightower's hands. San Fran recovers, but the replay clearly shows Hightower's knee was down. This will be overturned.

Anquan Boldin is an effing beast. Great catch, then breaks 2 tackles as he's catching it, then gets another 10 yards after the catch. I'd say the Cardinals are glad they didn't trade this guy.

A handoff to Boldin on 3rd and 7 when you have the best aerial attack in the league? Wow. The crowd disapproves. Field goal attempt coming from Rackers... good. 14-13 SF.

Hill is drilled as he throws, ball floating up in the air and the DE can't come up with it. Gore for 4 on 2nd down.

Designed run for Shaun Hill on 3rd and 11, dude is drilled a few yards short of the sticks, takes the hit while his helmet is knocked off, reaches over for the first down! Hill's got some balls and Singletary loves it.

3rd and 1, Michael Robinson lined up at fullback and gets the first down. Hurry up offense for the Niners, incomplete pass. 1:25 remaining in the half. I've gotta say, the MNF crew has been pretty good thus far. Kornheiser hasn't gotten carried away with anything yet. If he just acts like his PTI self, all is well.

Great throw from Shaun Hill on a corner route to Jason Hill for 24 yards and he gets out of bounds. Next play a deep ball into the end zone, could've been PI in my opinion. Singletary agrees... MOON THE REFS MIKE!

Gore for 9, clock running. 3rd and 1 nice pass for Hill to Bryant Johnson, gets out of bounds. 46 seconds left with no timeouts. Shaun Hill really is impressing, looks very composed and in control of this offense.

3rd and 10... Hill with a ridiculous throw into triple coverage to Vernon Davis for a TD! What a catch too! He gets an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty after the catch. Singletary's going up to him on the sidelines... HERE WE GO! Davis hugs him and Singletary's smiling? Wow, nobody saw that coming. 21-13 49ers.

The 49ers have to kickoff from their own 15 because of the penalty, great kick, ball bounces off some dude on the Cardinals and goes out of bounds at the 8. Geez. Now they'll just run the last 26 seconds out you'd think. For some reason they throw a pass on the first play for a few yards, makes zero sense. Then they just let the clock run. What a pathetic half by the Cardinals and their fans are booing. Halftime, time to drink some more.

3rd Quarter:


Breaston with another great return out near the 40, the kicker Joe Nedney finally brings him down.

Just regular Ritz crackers I'm finding are fucking fantastic with beer.

Breaston is a machine! After Fitzgerald reels in a 9 yard grab on 1st down, Breaston catches a 19 yard pass. The Cardinals are going no huddle now and Warner's looking good. He hits Fitzgerald again, now a personal foul. We're already at the 14 yard line.


Warner 5/5 on the drive... they hand to Hightower on 3rd and 1, looks like he's just short.

Warner quick slant to Fitzgerald on 4th and 1, TOUCHDOWN! I think he hit Fitzgerald 4 times on that drive. Cardinals opt to just kick the extra point, 21-20 49ers.

Cards kick short since they were burned earlier, and this doesn't work out so well either. Niners return it to around their own 43.

3rd and 4 out of the shotgun, Gore runs a draw for the first down.

Vernon Davis just gave up on a ball in the end zone. If he just dives, he probably has it. It makes me think of Roger Dorn in Major League, "Whaddya want me to do, dive for it? It was out of my reach."

4th and 1 from the 24, it appears Mike Martz is yelling at Singletary to go for it, Singletary wisely disagrees. Mike Martz is a douchebag. Take the points. Fg good from Nedney, 24-20 SF.

NFL United Way commercials... I hate you.

Wow, Jessica Alba is playing a prostitute in an upcoming movie. If only it were real life, I'd pay top dollar for that. Anyway, we need to spice the blog up a bit and nothing does that better than Alba's sweet ass.


Warner passes to Boldin for 17, to Hightower for 4, to Hightower again for 8, Urban Cowboy for 19, and add a roughing the passer penalty to that. Warner is 9 for 9 this half.

Weird sequence here. Hightower loses 3, Warner is sacked, but offsetting penalties cause for the down to be replayed. So it's replayed, Boldin gets a huge gain, but is called for offensive PI. Jaws HATES it. Anyway, the Cardinals are now out of FG range and have to punt on 4th and 19.

A pick-6 for the 49ers! Well, it appears I'm going to lose huge game in my money league for first place. Son of a bitch. WAIT! OFFSIDES! HA!

Fumble 2 plays later recovered by FORMER CSU RAM CLARK HAGGANS! Well, I should've lost 8 fantasy points, just 2 so I can deal with it and still have a chance. I know you care too. 3rd quarter over, 24-20 49ers, Cardinals with 2nd down from the 7 yard line.

4th Quarter:

Offsides followed by a false start. Screen pass for Hightower, gets to the 5, flag down. Facemask, automatic first down, that's a huge damn play. Samurai Mike is sending whoever did that to the locker room hopefully, followed by another great press conference. Holy shit! Now the ref comes back out, "after discussion, there is no penalty". Guaranteed he has money on SF and just realized what he did.

The comedy continues! Flag down, then picked up. Why do you idiots throw the flag in the first place? Just go with your first calls, you obviously made them for a reason. Rackers puts in the field goal, 24-23 49ers.

Fly: I just got in from pint nite. It's good of us to chronicle this epic matchup. I see that a total of 47 points have been scored. I can only assume that it's been the product of a field goal and 22 safeties.

Everytime Frank Gore runs the ball, all I can think of is former ECW champion Rhino and his special move...yes...the Gore. Anyways, third and a long four as we go to commercial. My computer is running slow. I hope they have a commercial that has a way to make it faster. Finally....

HOLY SHIT! SOME DUDE JUST BROKE INTO SOME WOMAN'S HOUSE IN THIS COMMERCIAL! I JUST PISSED OUT ONE OF MY PINTS!!!

Clapp: I was wondering if I was the only one that got that reaction from that commercial.

Fly: Oh, the 49ers. Your name is a bunch of numbers. You suck ass. Dropping a sure first down and punting to Arizona. Is there anyone who really thinks that SF isn't going to lose this game?

I just saw we had a picture of Megan Fox as Wonder Woman up here at the Thigh. Damn. So much for class tomorrow.

Can anyone name 5 of the 49ers defensive players? Their most famous defensive player is their head coach...who was a Bear. This is like the French claiming Napoleon who was, indeed, Italian.

I'm tired of getting these cause invitations on Facebook. I hate everything. I'm not joining any causes unless that cause is an attempt to get rid of cause invitations. I'm also trying to find my waitress from the bar on Facebook. Is that creepy?

Anyways, nice play by Clements on Fitzgerald. The 49ers "offense" is back on the field. Must see TV.

Shaun Hill is working hard to throw it to the wrong team tonight. Finally, the refs allow it to stand.

Clapp: My fantasy team is still alive this week. I'm up 3 now, if that dude scores, I lose. This is incredible. CHUG BITCH!

29-24 Arizona.

If you're SF, you're not afraid, though. You have Shaun "Elway" Hill under center.

Clapp and I may be the only two people in America still watching this game. This is an awful, awful matchup. Southern Cal could beat both of these teams.

I've never been so miserable when watching a football game. I want to go to sleep. I'd rather sit through the extended version of Transporter 3 than watch another second of this game.

Clapp:
Fly just sent me a text , I guess his computer overheated. Okay, this is pretty incredible. I'm up 1 point now in my money league. Please for the love of God just run the clock out now Cardinals. I've never seen a game with so many penalties, and certainly not a game with this many penalties called and then changed.

Cripes... Arizona will have to punt after Hightower loses 4 yards. Like my buddy Topher is telling me, "Hopefully they don't throw an INT on a hail mary." I will not be happy. I can live with 1 sack as I would tie, but cannot have a fumble or INT.

Meanwhile, Frank Gore is dead after Jason Hill gets a 10 yard reception and gets out of bounds. 57 seconds left.

Hill to Hill again at the 15 yard line! 52 seconds left.

And Hill to Hill AGAIN, to the 3 yard line! The clock is running, Niners finally spike with 20 seconds left. Flag down. You know they'll pick it up. INCREDIBLE THEY DO PICK IT UP THIS IS A JOKE!

This is one of the most incredible games I've ever seen. Gore is barely touched, but can't keep his balance, stumbles to the 1 or 2 yard line. Hill spikes it with 4 seconds left. Unbelievable. They're reviewing the previous play, but Gore was certainly down by contact.

Gore down at the 2 and a half yard line. Clock running with the blow of the whistle, 3rd down.

They give it to Michael Robinson and he's stopped short! GAME OVER, CARDINALS WIN! I cannot believe this. AND I WON MY FANTASY GAME BY 1 POINT! FUCK YEAH!

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Hint: That thigh is here, tomorrow. Join us for what's sure to be one of the worst games of the year, filled with Brett Favre and fantasy football comments from Tony Kornheiser. I'm sure it will be Fly and I, or maybe just I, or Fly. Regardless, it's coming from the thigh.

Oh, and it's clothing optional.

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Gotta love Samurai Mike. This is the press conference after his first game today, a loss at home to the dreadful Seattle Seahawks. Dude even benched Vernon Davis and sent him to the locker room during the game. This is one of hopefully many rants to come from the Hall of Fame linebacker and new head coach of the 49ers.




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Sounds like Mike Nolan may be coaching his last game for the San Francisco 49ers this week against the Seattle Seahawks. According to Michael Smith, the 49ers will replace Nolan with Hall Of Fame linebacker Mike Singletary. Singeltary's been a linebackers coach for the Baltimore Ravens, and has held the same position along with being the assistant head coach for the 49ers since the 2005 season. He's interviewed for plenty of head coaching jobs around the league and it sounds like's finally landed one. I've just gotta say I'll be upset to see Nolan and his sharp suit look on the sidelines go. More coaches need to do that.

ESPN's Michael Smith reports that 49ers head coach Mike Nolan is "likely coaching his last game" against the Seahawks this week.
"Barring a dramatic change in course," Smith said on NFL Live, "The team is going to relieve Nolan of his coaching duties and replace him with assistant head coach Mike Singletary." It's not a shock after Nolan was nearly fired last offseason. Since Singletary figures to leave Mike Martz and the offense alone, the possible move doesn't have a huge fantasy impact.

Link(Rotoworld)

UPDATE(10/20/8:20 PM ET) from Rotoworld:
FOXSports' Jay Glazer reports that the 49ers have decided not to wait for their Week 9 bye to fire Mike Nolan. Nolan is out as head coach effective immediately.
The Niners let the news leak out a week before they planned to take action, which would have made the entire week and next Sunday's game against Seattle a circus. Assistant head coach/linebackers Mike Singletary has agreed to step in. Nolan took over in '05 with the organization in shambles. He is a good football coach, but didn't get results after a promising 7-9 2006 campaign. His record ended up at 18-37 in four seasons. Nolan is certain to find work in 2009, probably as a defensive coordinator.
So there you have it, Samurai Mike is officially the head coach of the San Francisco 49ers.

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